Are virgin guys insecure?

[Anonymous]

Would you say that, generally, a guy that has never had sex becomes more and more insecure the longer he waits?

The guy that I like right now is 21 and he has never had sex before. I'm not really sure why. But he just has these emotional walls up. I think he feels really insecure because all of his friends have had sex numerous times with numerous women.

I feel like it's holding him back. Like he's scared to get close to me (he knows that I've had sex before. but only with one person. my ex-boyfriend)

Do you think he's intimidated by me?

Is being a virgin really that big of a deal to guys?

[Chris9017]

Yes, it is a main reason. I too am a virgin at 24, and I hate it. The reason being is I never had a fighting chance when I was younger, and virgin guys like myself feel intimidated by experienced girls could be from many reasons. My reason would be in fear of causing disappointment and having my first time end in disaster on someone I love, and being compared as inferior to the person's ex. For some males that could be a fear factor. Also my work environment talks about sex, same thing with college. In the United States, and Canada Sex is turned into a big deal, and shoved in our faces causing a lot of virgin males with low self confidence to feel bad about themselves. For this many male virgins pay for their first time with a prostitute because not many girls keep their virginity, and also to practice. Some people say the first time should be special, when your first time could be a disaster, and many male virgins fear that, and if the first time ends in disaster on a prostitute and not on a lover, that would be easier to take.

I on the other hand wait for those younger than me who are virgins too. Innocence in a girl is more of a virtue than they think, where as virginity in a guy is like a curse. I have contimplated either waiting for younger people who are virgins, or go to Vegas or Amsterdam for well obvious reasons to help broaden my range.

It comes down to the person, and how he feels.

[Atomizer]

Yes yes yes! It can be a big issue for some guys.

The longer he waits the bigger a problem it can feel like. Especially if there's baggage like serious depression or sexual abuse in his history. It can make you _hugely_ insecure.

If you like this guy, realize _he may need to take it slooooow_. Be _very gentle_ with him, in every sense. He may seem to run hot and cold. He may distrust _everyone_, especially himself. He might have a head full of raging emotions and poor self image.

Yes, all of this is from personal experience, so perhaps I'm reading into things. But your description sounded similar to me at that age

Good luck

:)

[That-Guy]

I have two friends who are 22 and still virgins.

Guy 1: is scared out of his mind but puts up a defense that sabotages his ability to get laid.

guy2: actively presues girls but the problem is that women can sense his in-experience and ultimently gets denied.

So yes, it is a big deal for them.

[devoshe]

First, it is a big deal for guys. Since the ratio of virgin and non virgins 1:1000000 *figuratively speaking, not actually a number. I'm guessing he is being pushed by his friend to have sex. Please ask him your questions. It's best to ask him than ask anyone else. Than he may tell you what's going on. Tell him his special. that may soothe him. Good luck!

[gag10]

yes, and until you lose it, it's a huge deal. it's the ultimate confidence killer.

once you are over it(took me til 22), it's no big deal.