Guy friend and I had sex... why did he react this way?

[Anonymous]

First time we had sex he would ignore me the next day.. he would just act weird and no longer hang out with me at all. he hooks up with other chicks and i didn't know how i was different. he even told his ex and he stated it should have happened. why dwell on it though? i aksed the ex the reason for him dwelling on it was because he actually cares about me and having sex with someone he cares about it just different from the random hookups he has with girls on tinder etc.

second time we had sex he looked down and kept saying that he cares... he repeated "i care i care i care" while looking down and he said i was cute and he mentioned how my projects at school are amazing... all while holding my hands... he started kissing my hands... then my cheeks... he even said..."you sleep on the other bed ill sleep there"... we ended up putting our foreheads and we kissed.

the thing is... we had sex... but before that he asked for friends with benefits.. he said "lets do friends with benefits and see where things go?" i said no so we just cuddled... we ended up having sex though... next day i said yes and here it goes

he said no because "those things get messy and i dont want to loose you. i trust you"

that was it...

oh and he starts working with me next week so ill be seeing him every week now...

Updates

+1 y

oh and one thing... he asked me how many people I've hooked up with and stuff twice... but he is currently hooking up with 28362 girls rn... i know bc he tells me

[Dainolf]

Understand that even tho he is hooking up with a lot of people he doesn't want you to. He is thinking because you are hooking up with him you are hooking up with others. He does care, that is why he asked you about how many you have slept with.
He doesn't want to slut-shame you but he as a man can't help it. Reality is the more people you have sex with the more he will distance himself from you.

[Asker]

he kept telling me how many chicks he's seeing at this moment and stuff.. when he asked i told him 2... was that a mistake? and i mean he's gonna start working w me next week... you think he'll distance himself stilll?

[Dainolf]

He might doubt you only have 2. Stop having sex with him. He needs to know you are not easy. If you wanna be with him you need to tell him that you don't like him sleeping with others and you won't have sex with him otherwise. If you let him to that he will never commit to you.

[Asker]

i have not had sex with him since that last time lol... i made it known however that i wanted "something serious and true " :(

[Asker]

should i remind him?

[Dainolf]

If you are serious about it. You don't wanna seem desperate but let him now you care and that you have to let him go sooner or later.

[Asker]

i am.. i care about im a lot and i really do like him

[Dainolf]

Just don't let him control you. There are plenty of other guys who would care for you.

[Asker]

so all in all u think there are feelings there?

[Dainolf]

Hard to tell with guys but my initial reaction was yes. When I was younger I said no to a girl I liked. Boys are stupid.

[Asker]

guys are kinda stupid lol. how sure are you about what u said tho if u were to estimate?

[Dainolf]

Sorry you know him best. I am not sure at all. He might just play you. Wish I could help.

[Asker]

hey! so he has been telling me that he doesn't like hook ups and is not talking to chicks or anything:) he told me that twice... he also mentioned formal. he is in a frat. he first said “i can ask my ex but she’ll say no. Hahahahahahah” then he said “im talking to a few chicks “ then he said “you know i dont have to take sorority chicks i can take anyone. they dont have to be in the organization” and a friend of ours replied “yep u can take anyone.” and he's like “yeah i can take anyone it doesn't matter if theyre in a sorority “ HAHAHAHAHA... was he hinting to me?

[Asker]

that he’s done with hookups for now*****

[Asker]

he said that the day i saw him and i was texting him yesterday and he said that there's a problem with him and i asked what. he said “im turning down chicks for no reason. im just off chicks for a while. i dont want to hook up” ... he also told ne he removed his ex on snapchat which he has not lol... AND he stupidly sent me a screenshot of a meme... on the corner you could see his recent history... it was a daiting app... tinder :) ... why is he lying to me?

[MannySimms]

Huh?

[Asker]

what and lol

[BitterSweetApplePie]

Only reason he said any of that is because he doesn't want to lose out on free sex. By saying no to his attempt at a relationship only made it apparent to him that you two don't need any real form of relationship to continue having sex. Sorry for sounding cold.

[Asker]

i mean.. i said yes to friends with benefits and he said no after...

[Asker]

and like i mentioned above it was because he said that he didn't want to loose me and that those things get messy AND that he trusts me a lot

[Asker]

we haven't had sex... he is gonna start working with me though... he asked me what days i work

[BitterSweetApplePie]

Then he probably said it because he doesn't trust you not to catch feelings. If he's still actively having sex with other girls then he probably isn't going to stop for you, unless he is bluffing and trying to make you jealous.

[Asker]

could we really know? i found it weird that he asked if i had met anyone over the summer while he was gone and i found it weird that as we were kissing he asked me how many guys i had slept with over the summer. over the summer he hit me up asking if i was okay and he asked a friend to take care of me when i went out for drinks... he was in a completely different country and he hit me up once at 12 saying "stop going out jk have fun"... then again at 4 am "hey whats up?" i wouldn't reply but he asked a friend who was there to take care of me :( i thought that was weird no?

[BitterSweetApplePie]

I think that you should ask him. That's the only real way to know, but you could try to find an easy way to know if he likes you more. I feel sort of like he does, but I can't be certain.

[Asker]

i can't be certain either. what can i do? any tips? like i said he's gonna start working with me.. i just sit and watch disney movies lmao xD he's gonna be next to me ahhaha a

[Asker]

actually after the sex i asked him..."why did you do that over the summer?" "why did you avoid me the first time we had sex?" his reply: i dont know...

[BitterSweetApplePie]

I think he feels differently towards you, but he's hormonal right now and possibly scared of losing you. You could casually bring up what would happen if there was something more serious between the two of you. There is no real casual way to mention it. Lol.

[Asker]

differently? as in he doesn't like me?

[Sadused1]

@Asker what job pays you to watch Disney movies?

[Asker]

@Sadused1 im not tellin hahahhahaa.. i mean im a cashier at a student job thing haha but we dont really have costumers so im chillin

[Anonymous]

Whatever he's doing you need to stop letting him play the game with you. If you want to remain friends with no sex fine but otherwise it sounds way too messed up to deal with.