I’m sorry if I seem repetitive but my mom told me last night that all guys write things like this to get women to fall for them and they say all these pretty things because of that. After hearing that my happiness faded away do you think that this guy genuinely meant the things he wrote? Me and him have a kind of close connection despite not seeing each other much (due to Corona) and we have stayed up until like almost 6 am texting. Here are some of the things he wrote I saved them in my notes I’m sorry if I seem repetitiveMy mom told me that all men do that to get a girl to fall in love with them, that he has a talent for writing and he uses that to his advantage, and that guys like to try to have sex with virgins as a prize (me). This immediately killed my happy “lovey dovey “ mood and made me feel down. Please read the messages by the way. Thank you for your time
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+1 y
I’ve only known him for a month
At that time, we only met twice and have been texting for only a month and he wrote me things like this do you think that he meant what he wrote?
He might just be a cheesy sort of romantic. That's a strange angle to take as I see it from an experienced guy who knows how to seduce women. He seems more like a lovesick puppy to me. Then again I don't know what people do nowadays.
From my standpoint, if you're prone to overthinking, it doesn't help to get a hundred different varied opinions on the motivations of your guy. I would take it easy on that, take things one step at a time, and try to judge these things more for yourself. At the end of the day, you either have a guy who is genuinely empathetic and concerned about your well-being or you don't. If you know your boundaries, you can see whether or not he respects them or tries to cross over them.
@elieg Such as knowing upfront what she's comfortable and not comfortable doing. Someone who doesn't have this quite figured out might be more prone to being persuaded to do things they might not otherwise be willing to do or even want to do.
@elieg She has to tell him if he does something she isn't comfortable with like if he makes physical moves on her, she needs to be willing to reject his advances and say he's moving too fast or something. It's mostly knowing what we are willing or not willing to do upfront. Like if we are hired for a job, we should know a bit upfront what we're willing to work for and what we're not so that we can negotiate a fair salary.
It is perfectly fine as I see it for a man to make moves on a woman. Often nothing would happen otherwise. The key as I see it is if he respects her wishes in the process, especially when she shows or outright says she's not comfortable with what he's doing.
Yes, there are guys who will "say anything to get in a gal's pants". That said, I hope that he is NOT one of those guys.
I DID notice in the last section that he mentioned that you share "old soul" traits. It was this that gave me a glimmer of hope that he might be the "real thing", and not just a guy who makes up lies to hook-up with a gal and then dump her shortly afterward.
man that 'old soul' shit may have been novel for your generation, but nowadays, it's the most cliche thing imaginable and would totally be in the repertoire of any young dude
I believe it’s more likely that he believes it than that he’s playing you.
that doesn’t necessarily mean you two are getting married. You’re still learning about each other and how you two would function as a couple. So over time this initial glow will likely cool somewhat and you deal with the reality of whether your lives can really fit together, whether how you want to live really aligns, whether you two really make a good team and actually can make each other feel cared for year after year. Even if the answer to those ends up being no doesn’t mean the way you two feel now is fake.
you’re supposed to deep this way at the start. Don’t do anything stupid but enjoy it. And don’t close your heart off.
to be honest, what he said reminds me back when I had my first loves back in middle school... those times I was sort of love obsessed and these feelings were strong but also true. I would always pour out my feelings in text and they sure liked it as well. but getting older I don't do that anymore. that's where I get unsure though because if he's older now I'm not sure if he's becoming obsessive or if it's just him falling in love with you and that's just simply how he expresses his affection. I say that you should keep going with it and make sure that it's what you want and these feelings are mutual
Look your mom is simply saying be careful don't believe every word you hear. Words are easy especially written one. I could just sit here and wirte countless of poem-like lines about how much I'm in love with you and i don't even need to have ever seen you for that. I'm not saying he's lying but don't just assume he has feelings for you because he said so. He needs to show it. The naive ones get there hearts broken the most I'm afraid. Don't be that girl. The one who believes all Innocently that someone just appeared out of nowhere and fell in love with you. Why you and not someone else? If it's too good to be true that means it's not true. Be careful, always doubt, always ask questions. Don't do a repeat of last time
It's doubtful any man who wasn't genuine could be arsed writing all that. Same with the 6am texting.
I think he believes it. Men can be very gushy, myself included. Then they become jaded when they get hurt repeated times. A bit like your mum eh.
Not saying you shouldn't be careful. But his true intentions will always reveal themselves in his behaviour. Keep your head. But allow yourself to follow your heart.
Did you read the second image? I think that one is very hard to believe that’s the one that i’m most skeptical about do you think that that one was honest?
Why are you affraid if your not going to have sex before marriage...
I already told you the ultimate test of love, try to see if he will love you and remain with you without doing sex, tell him that sex comes after marriage.
Your mom is right but sometimes the guy might be honest, so you have to try him and only time can tell...
not all guys say that, especially in depth😂 he definitely cares for you and he has opinions based on his experiences. you guys are a good match. stop listening to your mom. it gets better when you do.
I think if the guy is Christian he would believe in sex after marriage i never had sex with a girl cause i don't believe in sex before marriage i hate say this but your mom is toxic her frame of thinking will chase all guys who try to date you they can't be judged on what they text you any guy who spends wee hours of the morning texting you has some feelings for you trust me?
Exactly fucking God damn exactly I've been trying to tell u the same thing but u don't take me serious. All guys say these things. And having sex with virgins🤔 she's right.
🤔hmm... not necessarily to "make" a girl fall, I wrote things like this myself once, bcs that's how I expressed my feelings at best my second was singing love songs to her. Could that be his case? Life is like tootsie pop.
Not all guys, but a lot. I am not sure we should be seeing all this. Private. He would not like us seeing this. Does he have a faith? Does he want kids?
You want kids too? Now you have to figure how many. Girl, Boy need third, boy and boy most stop, girl, girl , most people stop. I would prefer a boy , but I am sure I would be crazy with girl. I would worry more about a girl. I would be more protective with a girl. Most important thing is that they were healthy.
Bit tyey aren’t having sex I don’t see how it always comes down to sex
I understand often it does BUT they aren’t having sex. He can’t get into anything , so what’s the point. I think sometimes people just see everything through cliche but it doesn’t always apply
@VIVANT guys say things to have sex. you can't disagree that the point of relationships isn't sex. some guys approach it differently/indirectly because they aren't "good looking" or "they are "poor"
I disagree. I agree with you on A lot and I lije you do this isn’t just being contrary or some axe to grind lol but no lots of guys actually want to be right women or men bc they enjoy the connection and emotional closeness and support and spiritual growth and strength they derive from the persons presence.. and yes sex is often something most look forward to And as I said it. Dk def affect intensity of feeling but no I disagree that guys just say stuff to get sex. Some guys sure but not all or Even most. A lot yeah but out of billions.. a lot can be a few.
I think 30% bald face lies.
5% just don’t care either way.
50% middle ground ranging from quite keen for sex but genuinely fall in love anyhow and are or are not willing to wait ~ to those who enjoy sex but it’s not the top priority.
He’s in the 10% That feel stuff really intensely and are not ashamed to express it.
@VIVANT i think it's more like 10% of guys want a real relationship. but we'll see what happens. she's not going to have sex for another 4 months at least anyways.
Very true one month in but I don’t think she’s planning on it anyone soon. At least a year. And I think it should he one month per letter so maybe five years 😛😊
Point beung if he was trying to play her he short himself in the foot so I’m inclined to think he’s genuine. And that she shouldn’t have sex with him bc it has such a negative impact on him. But they should date and they can fool around. No sex or butt sex. 😊
I hats fine. Just have a pact with yourself to not do anything you’re uncomfortable with and communicate that. You being honest that will keep him honest. 👍🏻😊🌺
I was told a couple of months. Like the honeymoon phase. I would take it slow but yes he could be telling you how he truly feels but he needs to step back and not let his emotions get out of hand.
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