Would it be awkward to ask my stepson to call me mom instead of calling me by my name?

[BButterfly]

I mean I raised him since he was 7 so it's only fair in my opinion. He can't seem to get the courage to say it since he was a kid and now he'sa grown teenager. We have a confusing relationship between best friends to big sister to stepmom but that's it. We have our goods and bads, ups and downs but thats normal and we really care and love each other as a family. I know he feels awkward when i am with him around his friends so i started to keep my distance but is it really that hard to say it?

[Barry88]

I can understand your feelings, on the other hand, the age difference between you and him is very small, and even though you raised him, he perhaps doesn't see you as his real mom. I mean, he knows his real mom, and you are too young to be his real mom. So because of the little age difference, it will feel different for him, probably more like a big sister or stepmom, as you already mentioned. Probably this is why he didn't came up with calling you mom by himself. You can always talk with him, saying you would appreciate it if he would call you mom, because you're right, you have acted like his mom for quite some time now, you have raised him. Perhaps he is willing to do so, but it never came up for him to call you mom. I wouldn't say it's awkward to ask him though, this is something which you can openly discuss with him.

[ArrRenn]

Why would that be awkward? It’s a question you have and would like an answer to. So ask him. It’s not unlike asking someone you really like (or think is really cute) to go out with you – because you are opening your heart up to your stepson, and you cannot be certain that he will be understanding or even gentle.

You might not get an answer. This happens sometimes.

You might get an answer you don’t want/like. This happens sometimes, too.

What WOULD be awkward would be demanding an answer. Or, worse, demanding the answer you want to hear.

So ask him. Get it off your chest and out in the open between you. Once it’s done, it’s done. You may even sleep better for it.

[SydneySentinel]

No, not it all. Just ask him! It might take some getting used to for him, even if he wants to.

[jayden888]

Given your small age gap because you are 25 and he's a teen (how old?), it would be better for him to call you by your name. If he saw you as a bigger sister that would be great as well.

You have to realize he might even be attracted to you and may not want to call you mom.

[BButterfly]

You have to realize he might even be attracted to you and may not want to call you mom!!!
Are you serious in this? 😑😕

[jayden888]

Absolutely girl. Think about this -- he's a teen, you're 25. He may have a girlfriend and everything, but you're still young too. Calling you mom would be super weird for him.

[jayden888]

If he's like early teens - 13, 14 it's still acceptable/ possible. But if he's in his later teens the best is if you are like a big sister to him.

[BButterfly]

You have a point

[Nik1hil]

Just ask him..
And tell him...
He should be okay in calling you as his mom...

But I don't think it's possible!..
Because you never imprinted him before puberty!..

[BButterfly]

The word seems to be catched in his throat before saying it for some reason😔

[Nik1hil]

He doesn't sees you as his mom.

And never will..
And that's the reality

[BButterfly]

At least lie for me to make me feel better. You're the worst 😂

[Nik1hil]

Besides you don't want him calling you mom..
Trust me you don't..
(can only explain this in PM)

[BButterfly]

Explain

[Piteka5]

This is just my opinion, but I think that trying to force might make him even more uncomfortable. With time things tend to smooth out, specially when he gets older, in my family with divorces and such, his age is right the age when they sometimes get more combative but after sometime a good relation grows, altough, I have never seen any of the cases I know personally can the new person "dad" or "mom" only their real name

[ccal28]

What’s his relationship like with his real mother? If it’s not a sore spot for him then I think you should be able to talk to him about it

[BButterfly]

His mom left after he was born and it's been almost 15 years now

[ccal28]

That’s sad to hear. I definitely think you and him should be able to comfortably have that talk since he’s old enough.

[Michael510b]

Will it be awkward? Oh yeah probably. Should you do it? If it means enough to you to ask here, ya. Just let him know what it means to you and give him time. Teenagers have a lot on their plate emotionally.

[i1T2daty]

Are you younger than your spouse. Given your age and looks (very nice) he might feel uncomfortable, You didn't mention his current age. Also, if he's comfortable around you as it is, I wouldn't force a conflict over a word.

[Razal]

no its not awkward at all.
u raised him, so technically he can call u mom.
its more respectful and nice

[BButterfly]

Yeah

[Koalamate]

Its not about being fair its about how the child feels. Even if his mum was barely or not at all around she may still be his mum in his eyes.
Dont pressure him into it he will decide when he's ready.

[jgokgotit]

It is more than you see. If he is close with his mom and respects her then the odds of you being called mom are zero.

[Chitown10]

Well I would see if he would call you something different than by name besides mom. I'm guessing that he and his real mom still chat? So why not try something like ma'am or miss because it's a respect thing you want?

[BButterfly]

His mom left him after he was born and its been 15 years since then. She wants nothing to do with him so his dad took carw of him until he was 7 then i started taking care of him since then

[Chitown10]

Then I wouldn't see any harm in asking him to call you it.

[Jamie05rhs]

Just ask him if he would like to call you "Mom.". Phrase it as an invitation. Tell him that it would be totally okay if he did, but that he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to.

[Satish2607]

Well I think you can explain to him why you want him not to call you by the name.
It's only natural that you want him to call you mom rather than by your name.

[KrakenAttackin]

"Only fair"? Seriously? Give the poor kid a break. You are NOT the kids mother, let your step-son decide what to call you.

[BButterfly]

Relax man there's no pressure here at all.

[KrakenAttackin]

The point is you are talking about "fair", which does not enter into the equation. Let the poor kid be.

[alance99]

Just leave it him, its very difficult to make teenagers do something which they dont like it. You can just ask him if he would be comfortable in calling you mom

[Anonymous]

I mean just let him call you whatever he wants. I mean maybe he’s just not ready to call you like that, or maybe he views things differently like you’re not his mom, but you’re still a caretaker.

Either way, it’s fine.

[huzail]

Actually this his habit. you must need to discuss with him about this

[nailu]

You’re not his mother. He knows it. What point is there in pretending?

[Jude_Wills]

Not awkward
You are his mom after all

[BButterfly]

Still he calls me Mia which is my name 😕

[Jude_Wills]

It really difficult for him just don't force him.
Give him some time

[Anonymous]

That's weird and overstepping

[BButterfly]

What's weird?

[Opinion Owner]

Calling your stepmom Mom.

[BButterfly]

It's not weird at all in my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

Is his mom still around and alive

[BButterfly]

She left after he was born 15 years ago and she wanted nothing to do with him

[Opinion Owner]

Oh in that case it's not weird

[midnightmoon05]

he is at an odd age... let him be.

[modeve]

It will be a great loving step.

[chriscdi]

yea dont force him

[BButterfly]

That's sad

[chriscdi]

yea even tho you basically are his mother since you basically raised him and took care of him, if he hasn't called you it, it must be for a reason, i say just mention it once like let him choose, tell him he doesn't have to call you by your name, that he can call you mom, i say that eventually he will, that it just comes out but thats based on what I've seen in movies so I don't know, do what your heart tells you 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Twenty2]

Talk to him. Change is hard but possible.

[Gedaria]

Yes, very much...

[roy_ricky09]

He should.