Girls, What do you think when a guy might be interested in you and just stays in the background and let’s other guys pursue you?

[Anonymous]

Girls what do you think when a guy might be interested in you and just stays in the background and let’s other guys pursue you

I had a situation like this happen over the past couple of days and it reminded of how

I was hurt in the past and how I was rejected so many times i thought through the pain if I could go back and never have talked to the girl or expressed interest I wouldn’t be feeling this way well fast forward to today there was another guy at work who would constantly hover around this girl and would always find himself near her work area he has a girlfriend but that’s none of my business but anyways I felt history repeating itself but this time with a chance for me to make a different decision and the right decision. I ignored her and just mainly let them continue to flirt and talk.

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Appreciate your opinions

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Many good opinions

[btbc92]

Nothing. I know nothing about this guy and I don't date strangers anyway. So if he wants to be in the background then he can. You have to decide about what is your intent in just taking interest in strange girls and women you don't know. One thing is certain I don't want toxicity from another person. You keep getting rejected because you are asking out strangers, not confident, and have a lot of things you need to work on as a man. And that is not attractive to women. Even shy women. A woman wants a man to take the lead and actually pursue her. IF she wants to be and is looking for a partner. But as you look to see if we're giving you attention, we're judging you by your actions. We would rather you stutter for 10 mins than for you to just sit there twiddling your thumbs doing nothing. Then we can't respect you and look for other men. Why? Because you gave us the other men. Build relationships with people you want to get to know. I say if you see that crap going on, you did well to avoid. You attracted to people you seek validation from. You need to stop it. And learn to become your own man.

[Asker]

Well she was bothered because she started showing uncharacteristic behavior she started whispering to another girl about me. Not something I really care about but I notice usually when someone is talking about someone they really lower their voice

[btbc92]

You shouldn't be worried about such gossipers. Get better self-esteem about yourself and ignore those chicks. Sounds like your attracted to red flags.

[Asker]

Like I said I didn’t care because I noticed throughout the night when I blocked out that stuff my performance got stronger and well the two of them the guy and girl who I’m talking about starting walking around neglecting customers and I just thought to myself I’m doing my part and I’m not getting caught in that shit again. No joke when I seen them walking and talking and customers were walking past them I thought damn that was me 4 years ago but now I’m smart and I popped out of the reflective thought and helped the customer actually it was a super large electronic sale

[btbc92]

The point is don't obsess over it. Just live your life and do what you have to do.

[Asker]

So can you answer this for my and then I should be able to let it completely go why was she whispering about me to another girl I knew this because she was doing it as I was walking up

[btbc92]

Because you're making her uncomfortable and she wanted to tell her friend who you just in case you were a creep. She didn't know what to do, but she didn't like it at all. Some women like myself hate being stared at. Especially by guys, because we often know many have bad intent.

[btbc92]

If she spoke to you about it, you may have reacted badly. So to be safe she whispered.

[Asker]

I wasn’t staring at her at all I was already preoccupied with something else

[Asker]

When you say react badly what do you mean

[btbc92]

The point is your looking, and it's all about the intent. We sense and know when a guy is attracted, interested, lustful, etc. If you already have that intent, that can send alarm bells for us. It's one thing to notice and go about your business. I am going based on your question: "Girls, What do you think when a guy might be interested in you and just stays in the background and let’s other guys pursue you?" If you weren't about any of that, then either the girl is again a gossiper, or that situation wouldn't happen.

[btbc92]

I mean exactly that. He gets hostile, curse, etc. Or start stalking you, etc. Create a scene and such. That's scary for women so we rather avoid it. Especially with experience, we rather not repeat them.

[Asker]

So she was the one listing so here’s the thing I have many other conversations with women at work and I can tell you she was the only one who was looking at my crotch

[Asker]

So none of that would happen with me I’m as mellow as it gets

[Rebecka33]

I would say he finds you attractive but not interested in having a committed relationship with you but still wants you happy cause he cares.

[Asker]

I have been let down in the past and I seen a lot of similarities between this situation and and that and it’s why I didn’t do anything

[Cherokeehp]

I’d assume he’s insecure and/or shy. I’d probably completely ignore him.

[Asker]

So I’m ignoring her

[Cherokeehp]

So is that a win/win situation?

[Asker]

Well I don’t know because I seen her start to whisper about me to another girl I have no idea what she said

[Cherokeehp]

If you like her, then why are you opting to stay in the background and ignore her?

[Asker]

Because the other guy was flirting plus everything I stated above I felt like history was repeating itself

[Cherokeehp]

History isn’t guaranteed to repeat itself, and so what if another guy was flirting. If you like her and you think she likes you back then you should just talk to her.

[Asker]

Well they seemed to get along really well

[Cherokeehp]

Do you think she might like you back?

[Asker]

I really don’t know but it’s safer not to know correct

[Asker]

Also she seemed to like the constant attention he was giving her

[Cherokeehp]

it’s up to you. It’s your decision. But clothes mouths don’t get fed, so you’ll never get the girl if you never speak up. At least if you talk to her you have a chance.

[Asker]

So we don’t have very much in common, also I caught her whispering to a coworker about me

[Anonymous]

That he's not assertive and/or doesn't want a relationship with me.

[Asker]

Not assertive?

[Asker]

Like I dint want my heart broke

[Opinion Owner]

The point is that if you don't even try because you're afraid, why would she believe you are in any way truly interested in her?

Unless you are extremely attractive, in which case the woman (same as a man) would probably assume you could get anyone you want and seeing as you have not tried to get her attention you, again, must not want her.

[Asker]

But what about the other guy

[Opinion Owner]

What about the other guy? The ones hitting on her in your stead? It's none of your business if she chooses to date someone who is showing interest in her instead of you. You aren't showing any interest. You're letting them flirt with her competition free. And unless the guy is clearly out to rape her or something else horrible that makes her visibly uncomfortable, its not your right to stop them from flirting with her.

[Asker]

Here’s the thing I don’t compete in something I would clearly lose

[Opinion Owner]

Then good luck never winning. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy my dude.

[Asker]

I legit have nothing to offer women

[Opinion Owner]

You have a dick.

And if you have the potential for hurt then you have the potential for love and companionship. You're just to afraid to try. Lowering standards while not the best is sometimes a good start.

[Asker]

Women want more then dick

[Opinion Owner]

"the potential for love and companionship"

You're in a hole, no one can help you but yourself at this point.

[Asker]

So if I’m as special as you think I am why do women with their boyfriends laugh at me