So I was walking by myself past about 6 guys and they said "hey miss, excuse me, how are you doing" I ignored them & they got upset. Why?

[belle_kai]

there were 6 of them, its been super hot here and some of them were shirtless, yes good looking but also I could smell weed coming from them as I was walking

I ignored them because I did feel slightly intimidated and I also thought if I say hi, its an invitation for them to come over to me. I didn't feel safe, its not the nicest area either and they said the following

"Omg I hate when girls are like that, what the hell is wrong with her i just said hi excuse me miss how are you doing, "

Don't they ever stop to think how the woman might feel?

It happens often, i don't say hi to random guys in groups when i am by myself

[btbc92]

They are trying to call a rap to you and give them attention to harass you. Ignore them. Guys like that are looking either to date because you look sexually attractive or God forbid to rape. Them smoking weed is worse. You did the right thing to ignore them. They didn't have the right intent. People like that are bad news. If you say something they will take it as an invitation to try to control and manipulate you. I went through that when I use to live where I was. They don't know how to have respect. They just want to feed the ego.

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

Isn't this stereotyping? Just because one group of African American pot smokers was up to no good... They all are.

[btbc92]

That's not stereotyping. It doesn't matter what so called race they are. When guys are doing that, it's catcalling, and it's sexual harrassment. And no where did she include them being anything. Stop bringing so called race in this. I don't like those type of guys regardless of again, so called race. Why are you getting offended when it had nothing to do with You? If you personally do this, then I suggest you stop. It's harrassment. We know genuine talk vs harrassment.

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

You are only 1/3 correct. I was using a group of African American pot smokers as an example (like the whole all blacks live in projects) second I've had guys say hey man how you doing, that's not cat calling it's someone trying to be friendly you ASSUME that it's cat calling as much as I'm assuming they were just trying to be nice and respectful. We are not them and this can't know their intentions. I'm not getting offended and it also has nothing to do with you directly either (so why are you taking this personally?) Me on the other hand have 2 friends I talk and hangout with one is a female I never take my shirt off no matter how hot I get... And as for "We know genuine talk vs harassment" if it were so clear cut they wouldn't need an opinion on this.

[btbc92]

@Samoht_Sirrom1 I am talking about these guys. I am not talking about anybody else. She doesn't like it and she is not comfortable. That is harassment. And that is not an assumption. It's about the intent. And I can sense and hear what she is writing about these guys. They are trying to get her interested in talking to them. She did the right thing. You don't do that to women. You should be nice and respectful to everyone. You chose to come on my comment feed with that nonsense accusing me of stereotyping. I am a good judge of character and is highly intuitive. So no. I tend to know people's intend 99.9% of the time. If I didn't know I would ask. Not ASSUME.

[btbc92]

And sorry to burst your bubble about the projects. I grew up around that myself, and know better not all 'black people' live in the projects. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. I care about what a man's intent is. NOT their so-called race. The intent. I have been around smokers, alcoholics, mentally ill, gangs, etc, and know who is who. Some are respectful, others are NOT. I stay away from those who are NOT. PERIOD. The same goes for women. Don't matter. I can tell when a guy is trying to chat me up vs a gentleman saying 'Have a good day ma'am'. I kindly say 'Thank you, the same to you', and keep it moving. This convo --> ""hey miss, excuse me, how are you doing" Inappropriate. Not only is this with 6 guys with a woman outnumbered, a group smoking pot no less, this person is TRYING to ask her out. NOT GOOD. Why can't they talk that with anyone? We know why. He was targetting her. Not other people. He wants sexual attention. And women HATE IT. Get that through your head. This is why we ignore you, men. We don't care if you get pissed. We know why you do it. This is what I mean by knowing who is who.

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

You proved my point already... First I said just like saying all black people live in the projects is a stereotype (I live in them so I know that's a lie) Second you said "I am a good judge of character and is highly intuitive. So no. I tend to know people's intend 99.9% of the time. If I didn't know I would ask. Not ASSUME." Yet your first comment to me was "If you personally do this, then I suggest you stop. It's harrassment. We know genuine talk vs harrassment." So first your " good judge of character was off (since you assumed, oh wait YOU ASSUMED) that I might be the type of person to act that way. So that's two strikes right there. And also I don't see you asking for clarification you are not those people you do not CAN NOT know their intent behind their words. Only base it on other experiences you've had and interpret what you Think based on Your Experiences and Project them into this situation. The fact you can't/won't acknowledge you could be wrong shows you are most likely a narcissist personality type who thinks they know everything.

[btbc92]

I'm not wrong about anything I just think you don't like the answer that I have to tell you. I am not a narcissistic person, and the way how you choose to come off to me shows me a lot about you. And I didn't prove none of your point. I simply tell you where you're wrong and obviously you just don't like it because your pride and ego got hurt. Will you two be having that kind of description tells me that you are that kind of person and you just don't want to admit it because again it does not fit your fancy and you feel rejected.

I simply told you if you personally do it then I suggest you stop. That means I don't care what your personal beliefs are, if you yourself do it, then I tell you to stop doing it. If you don't do it, then it's not directed at you. But as for me to correct you that it is still wrong. While you are too busy debating and fighting with me telling me as if it's not wrong. You don't get to decide to make that decision. The other person gets to decide.. I don't have to ask you for clarification. Because I'm here to correct what you were telling me about that stuff. And I can know the intent behind someone's work and words. I don't have to base it on my experiences another do I have to project them. The way how you choose to speak to me shows me loud and clear Who You Are. Deny all you want, I know what type of person you are. None of what I had said had anything to do with you. You choose a jump in it because you obviously felt offended.

[btbc92]

Again what does black people have anything to do with what is being talked about? Nothing. So either you're saying that you are black, that you do cat call women, and you feel offended when a woman is not giving you sexual tension. Or you're just saying that simply because you again just find it wrong that women don't have to pay attention to you when that is simply our right. The first comment you posted up it's asking me am I stereotyping. And then you want to bring up about one group of African-American pot smokers. What does that have to do with her question? Nothing. You are trying to defend the actions of this person and a group that this individual associated with. So I highly suggest you re-evaluate what you're telling me because you're actually talking about yourself.

[btbc92]

And also, don't try to put words in my mouth. My first comment to you was that it was not stereotyping and that it doesn't matter what soak what race they are and that it is considered catcalling and sexual harassment. I had simply told you to stop bring race into it, and I told you that I don't like those type of guys. I asked you why are you getting offended when it had nothing to do with you. Then I had simply tell you if you personally do it then I suggest you stop. Did I say you personally do it? Show me where I had said an absolute. Because I'm pretty sure I had said if, the key word being "if" you do it, then STOP. You're taking offense because you know that I know you doing it. She does not have to engage an associate with lifestyle she doesn't agree with. If a guy is getting angry because she is not receptive of their advances, that does a lot right there. Anybody can tell if they have common sense that this is not about having respect and common courtesy between people. This is about a woman who is being shamed for not accepting sexual advances from a man on public streets.

[btbc92]

What you saying is dangerous and you are putting women young girls at risk. You're condoning practices that can put a lot of women and young girls in danger to the point they can gossip did get kidnapped, killed or raped. Give me the reason why we're always told growing up do not talk to strangers.

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

How? By suggesting that maybe they were just trying to be polite? Now if the poster said as I got close they all started coming toward me... Okay I agree run, BUT if they were just talking WITHOUT APPROACHING then they were no danger (except for perhaps c19). Good manners are never (in and of themselves dangerous) in fact didn't YOUR parents teach you good manners and the importance of being polite to others? The whole not talking to strangers is so kids don't get tricked into riding with someone who could be dangerous. Besides if you truly believed that you would NEVER Leave your house (buy groceries, talk to checkout person, get car fixed talk to a mechanic, pay bills even more people...) Unless you're telling me you knew each and every person you ever talked to before you talked to them then You are a Hypocrite since each and every one of those people were strangers at one time or another.

[btbc92]

@Samoht_Sirrom1

"How? By suggesting that maybe they were just trying to be polite?" That is not them being polite. I think I already told you this about 3-4x.

" Now if the poster said as I got close they all started coming toward me... Okay I agree run, BUT if they were just talking WITHOUT APPROACHING then they were no danger (except for perhaps c19)." So in other words, you got to undermind what she said about this "I ignored them because I did feel slightly intimidated and I also thought if I say hi, its an invitation for them to come over to me. I didn't feel safe, its not the nicest area either and they said the following". She said this. Not me.

"Good manners are never (in and of themselves dangerous) in fact didn't YOUR parents teach you good manners and the importance of being polite to others?" Good manners have nothing to do with this question. The guy immediately says ""Omg I hate when girls are like that, what the hell is wrong with her i just said hi excuse me miss how are you doing, " I always say hi to people. But I am NOT obligated to just speak to anyone who doesn't feel right to my spirit, and I sense things about them that aren't good. My intuition tends to be right on point. Never wrong. This attitude this person had shown that this isn't about manners. But to pick her up for a date. That is the key giveaway on what the intent is. Most good men often apologize for disturbing you. They don't give you attitude or lib.

[btbc92]

"The whole not talking to strangers is so kids don't get tricked into riding with someone who could be dangerous." WRONG. Even my late mother taught me to never talk to strangers. NOT because they can potentially trick me into going with them. I was a very smart child growing up and always knew to listen to my guy. In fact, I always warned my parents not to speak with certain people because I always sensed the intent of others. I see body language, tune, level of voice, sentence structure, everything. People always give themselves away and you have to be a good observer to know these things.

"Besides if you truly believed that you would NEVER Leave your house (buy groceries, talk to checkout person, get car fixed talk to a mechanic, pay bills even more people...)" What does me leaving my house have anything to do with it? I always mind my business and don't just talk to anyone. Those who are kind, I kindly greet them. I do not speak to random strangers unless they have to ask me an important question, need something important, etc. Other than that, I do not have small talk unless it's somebody I trust and already know.

"Unless you're telling me you knew each and every person you ever talked to before you talked to them then You are a Hypocrite since each and every one of those people were strangers at one time or another." Doesn't matter. I am not a hypocrite for speaking out based on common sense. I don't know what is your issue with what is being said. If she is not comfortable, if they are speaking out of line because she wouldn't talk to them if she FELT intimidated and sense they would approach her if she engaged, and say it happens often, that says something. She is taken safety precautions that everybody tells young women and girls concerning safety.

[btbc92]

This is why many women do NOT go to certain areas and places ALONE. Even my own father told me the same thing. If somebody bothers you 'COME GET ME'. The last time I had 3 guys trying to flirt and mess with me thinking I was alone, my father came right around the corner and had a good talk with them. The moment they found out I was his daughter, they stopped. Those same men weren't just doing it to me. They were lusting and trying to harass practically any woman that they found attractive at the store instead of shopping.

I have a few friends who had similar issues. Family members young and old included. The last time one of my friends was alone, plenty of guys tried hitting on her in the streets and they never knew I was on the other line and heard it. The moment her dad found out, he said the next time that happens, call him, or tell him when she is going out, he will come with. Family member of mine had a similar experience to the Asker, Minding her business and smelt of weed. He kept bothering her and didn't stop until she told somebody in-charge of the place. So stop promoting harassment.

Thank you very much. For proving MY point and the Asker's.

[btbc92]

Now if she answered his question and still kept walking, he STILL would have been PISSED. I have plenty of these experiences, so I KNOW what it is. The is guy is trying to pick up any WOMAN who pays attention to him. And because his friends are there, he got embarrassed so he tried to show off that he doesn't need her because his ego got hurt. It's bitterness. Pride. Male pride.

If a man can't get a woman's number. He's a loser.
If a man acts like a gentleman to the lady. He's a simp.
If he doesn't lust after a woman and does not. He's a p****.

Do you think I don't know the male language? I have a dad and had a few male friends who used to do the same thing. At least he taught me how a man's brain THINKS and didn't shelter or lie to me about it. Thank God I have male friends who give a damn about me and taught me all the male tactics of getting a woman, lockerroom talks, and ALL. So all of your dirty little secrets basically, I already KNOW. There is a reason why they say KNOWLEDGE is POWER. Don't matter if your Black, White, Asian, Indian, rich or poor, educated or not, grew up in a good neighborhood, or a poor one. If your INTENT is not GOOD, no woman is obligated to talk to you. Because I am sure he knows better that if he has something to say you say it to the person's face, you talk behind a person's back. Like the coward he is. Guys like him I tell off just to show who he is messing with. Don't ever take my kindness or 'timidity' for weakness. I respect every person I meet, and I have the right and authority to decide who I wish to associate with or not. Men like that will lose my respect immediately. No mature healthy male responds like that.

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

You claim not to talk to strangers I was pointing out that you have and still do, whether from store clerk to a mechanic... Also you speak about knowing the males mind... You are STEREOTYPING... I am a male I have always treated people with respect always say hi when walking past, has nothing to do with trying to pick up a girl only being considerate. If all guys were as you have been describing that would have to include your dad as well, however from how you speak of him he doesn't seem to be a basic horndog trying to get laid, as you described all me as being... Either way I can tell you refuse to listen to my point of view and see It's value like a narcissist you believe you are always right and infallible. Since my time is more important then carrying on a never ending conversation, I refuse to reply to anything further concerning you.

[btbc92]

@Samoht_Sirrom1 I am not stereotyping NOTHING. And I am getting really tired of you trying to argue and debate me with me about this nonsense. If you cannot respect what needs to be said, please go elsewhere.

[COMMODOREII]

My mom always told me to say hi. You keep walking but don't have to stay. My mom does that too. Usually right up to a bunch of cholos. But then she never was one to be intimidated.

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

Just nod say fine thanka, other wise it's a bit rude Or if you're more like me werar a headset listen to music ignore don't even look up.

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

It maybe that they were just trying to be polite.

[Samoht_Sirrom1]

I love stupid people... lol I tell someone I'm done talking to them and that I am not going to continue the conversation or argue anymore and next thing I see is that they made some type of a reply and I'm betting it wasn't well it was nice to hear your point of view.. lol truth is I blocked them the second I finished my last reply.

[Wise4myage]

Let them get pissy, you had no obligation to say hi to them. You probably hurt their egos.

[Eagle_93]

You didn't do anything wrong.
If I were you, I would have probably done the same thing.

[OddBeMe]

One, their assholes. Two guys like that have weak confidence. And one prob felt embarrassed in front of his mates.

[Anonymous]

you're right I don't blame you one bit it was a perverted fucked up situation you were in and did the right thing by not saying anything to those creeps

[pigoat]

Yes you were rude

And read everything you wrote

Still rude

[belle_kai]

If it was your mum or sister it would be a different story

[pigoat]

No my mom and sis say hi to strangers if the strangers say something to them

[belle_kai]

no if they were intimidated. These guys were gangsters, up to no good

[motownplayer2000]

Because it IS very rude to ignore someone who is trying to be nice. Now they shouldn’t have gotten mad but it is rude

[belle_kai]

a group of 6 guys, smoking weed in a run down dangerous area?

[asshole_]

Do you have an s. o./bae?

[gandolph3]

you did right, keep safe