Why do a man act hot then turn cold and also why can't a man be straight up and honest?

[SailorMoon2020]

I met a man a through an online dating app. I decided to try it out since a friend convinced me to get into the digital age. We spoke over the phone and he had a pleasant disposition. He explained to me he was purchasing some real estate and I congradulated him. After that discussion, he disappeared for 5 months. I figured that he had other options and it didn't matter to me because I had others as well. Literally a day before the stay in place order, he contacted me again. I was skeptical at first, but decided that what the hell. We weren't dating, we just had one conversation. We started to text more often. I wanted to speak on the phone, but he was stubborn to my request. Red flag. I told him that I wasn't interested. Then he kept texting me. We started to speak more flirtatiously, then sexually. In the late spring, we decided to meet. The date was nice and he was more open and spoke about what was going on in our lives. We basically had similiar things going on. It ended well and we continued to talk. Then he switched up on me. He started not responding to my text, answering back days after. I asked him if he wanted to continued this connection. He answered yes. Then he continued with the same behavior. I asked if he wanted to go out again. He assured me that we will in the near future. Red flag again. My friend was having a bbq and told me I can bring friends. I knew he wasn't going to go, but I asked to test if he would answer promptly. He didn't answer it at all. If he would of said no, at least I've would of known he'd taken me into consideration and that he was honest with me. Livid, days later, I told him I'm moving on. He then expressed that he has a lot on his plate, apologized through text and wished me the best. I told him that his behavior was cowardly and told him to take care of himself. Why do some men behave this way and waste other's time? If he wasn't interested, he could of told me rather than play this game of hot and cold. It's very immature.

[1Anon]

He sounds like he was only interested in what he could get but on his schedule. His hot and cold way probably may suggest that he has a partner who he lives with and you were the side chick, if not one of a few. Not all guys are like that but a lot are unfortunately.

[SailorMoon2020]

Yep, I concur. Just because I am asking the right questions doesn't mean he'll give me the honest answer. I am grateful that I exercised discernment and judged his behavior and actions. I feel sorry that hurt people want to hurt people. Keep all that brokenness to yourself.

[1Anon]

@SailorMoon2020 You’re right there, asking all the right questions doesn’t mean you’d get honest, truthful answers from the guy. He’d just say whatever is needed to fit his agenda. It’s crazy how some guys are willing to hurt other people just to have other girls on the side. Usually the partner at home and the side chicks get hurt and are often oblivious to it all. Thankfully you were cautious and didn’t get hurt as much. You did the best you could given the circumstances.

[JamesTara]

I dont know the reason. But I had girls asking for social media or snapchat. They initiate the conversation you say or ask something and then they give a short cold answer. Once this happens I keep them one day on my social media and then I kick them off because I know they're a waste of time. Most guys the older we get the less effort we will put into it we dont care anymore if you mess up we cut you off.