I've been ghosted by my boyfriend of 5 months without any explanation - why?

[thelast2leave]

I am absolutely devastated and have been completely blindsided. My boyfriend was meant to come over on Tuesday, we were talking normally on Monday up to that point, he overslept on Thursday and Friday but said he'd make up for it on Tuesday. It gets to Tuesday and it's 1.30, i realise he's still asleep so i call him, he answers me saying "im up now", 2 hours go by i call him a few times again and see he's active on social media so i send him a message saying i am hurt he hasn't shown up and that he should man up and break up properly (as its now the end of the day) no response but active on social media. It gets to Wednesday and he hasn't opened any of my msgs, so i send him an angry farewell message to which he doesn't even open and delete him off everything, but his snapscore keeps going up. Haven't heard from him since.

This was someone who begged me to stay with him at the beginning and was consistently interested in me till that day he was meant to come over, he promised me so many things that we'd together and was so into me. We never fought, he was so shy and reserved with sex so I know its not another woman and he never hid his phone around me. I have been super depressed and crying, i stalk his profile and see he is posting pictures of himself but i also see he has unfollowed a load of people. No idea as to why he's done this, recently he's sleeping pattern has been awful which i know to be true. Last Friday he was double texting me and apologising for one late text and then Tuesday he tosses me out of his life like i meant nothing to him - the last message i ever received from him was "i'm up". I've been trying to come up with reasons in my head, like he decided he couldnt be bothered with a relationship anymore. But to just ghost someone youve been with for 5 months/talk to EVERY day? I've never been this hurt so bad before. We are both 21.

[Anonymous]

Okay I could be completely wrong about this, but it sounds like you freaked out on him a bit. I only say this because something could’ve come up for him or something, and you jumped right to a break up frame of mind. Unless you guys were having issues before this then I saw no reason why his mind was anywhere near leaving you. Maybe he was bailing on meeting up, which of course is wrong. But you probably surprised him with telling him to break up properly, then sending a goodbye message? You totally panicked girl, and it shows. Maybe it’s from past bad experiences, I don't know, but what u did sounded like the wrong move. Like I said though, I can be wrong. The other commenters seem to think he’s in the wrong, so my perspective could be off.

[thelast2leave]

But he had already not bothered to show up Thursday and Friday previously due to oversleeping, so I was already on edge. Plus this was really out of character for him so I knew it meant something was wrong. I waited 2 days for a response, I saw him liking pics on insta of other girls, his snapscore went up and he had failed to show up on Tuesday when I had got all made up, tidied the house yet people want to say I freaked out and made the wrong move? I don't know only a horrible person would do that to me, I can't believe it.

[Opinion Owner]

Ohh okay, you didn’t mention the fact that him oversleeping meant that you had plans to hang out and he bailed. That changes things a bit, and I’d be annoyed too if he did this three times in a row. Still, his mind may not have been in the “breakup” stage. Why not have been patient and talked to him first, before breaking up? Trust me I understand your frame of mind all too well and have had to yank myself out of the deep end one too many times lol. It just looks like a bit of an overreaction on your end, and I hope you don’t take offense to that. Anyway, you know him best and if you truly feel like this is where things were headed then you were right to end it before things got worse or before he did it himself.

[thelast2leave]

I did try to talk to him but he was blatantly ignoring me, I was very civil at first but I realised he was never going to respond to me. And you'd think after 5 months it wouldn't be so easy to discard someone even if I had overreacted, we had never even had a proper argument before.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow, so you did try talking and he’s unresponsive, sorry to hear that😞 well with everything you’ve said, it sounds like you did the right thing by breaking up, even though it’s hard.

[sheikalana]

Something happened and he didn't want to confront you about it or give you any explanation because he doesn't respect you. I know it's hard to swallow but if he really respected you he would've said something. You'll get through this.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you considered the possibility that he is suffering from a major mental illness?

[thelast2leave]

It did cross my mind, but I see he's active on instagram liking other girl's posts, posting pics of himself on snap. He never seemed depressed to me.

[OlderAndWiser]

So was there any conversation or disagreement recently in which something was revealed that perhaps has prompted this reaction?

[thelast2leave]

There was no argument, no anything. He was talking about how he'd be able to make it the day before.

[OlderAndWiser]

Is it possible that he felt you were getting "too close" for the comfort of a shy guy?

[spartan55]

Him liking pictures and his Snapscore going up has nothing to do with any of it.

[thelast2leave]

What do you mean by that?

[Avicenna]

I'm sorry you have experienced this, it's very painful. I think it would cause more anxiety if we were to speculate as to why he did it.

[Anonymous]

So... you burned all connections to him after a day? That’s not you being ghosted, that’s you being mad.

[thelast2leave]

No there's more to it, he ignored me purposely for 2 days. I have to add this is extremely out of character of him, he usually responds fast and this was the third time he hadn't shown up. I saw him liking other girls photos within those 2 days and his snapscore went up.

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you talk to him and find out

[thelast2leave]

he has flat out ignored All my messages and hasn't reached out, i'm not going to beg him. I couldn't stand to be ignored again.

[Iron_Man]

It’s time for you to MoveOn my friend