I have had a crush on a coworker for the last 10 months. The problem is, I am married and he has a girlfriend. When he started flirting with me I thought he was joking, but I have inexplicably become attracted to him.
I have tried avoiding him-but it increases his calls and texts (which are always friendly/platonic and not suggestive). I have tried getting to know him better platonically as a friend (in the hope that I would learn his undesirable traits and find myself less attracted to him)-and I have just found myself more attracted to him-despite his flaws.
I wasn’t even sure if he was attracted to me at first, but his calls at odd hours and spontaneous hugs (not frequent enough to be an outright invitation but consistent enough not to be written off as entirely platonic) are telling me a different story.
I have tried using my doubt about his intentions to tell myself it is a one-sided crush on my part, but my crush feelings have not subsided.
I have tried bringing up his girlfriend in convos, but it hasn’t caused him to draw back.
I have tried using my crush to reboot my sex life with my husband, but he has never been particularly demonstrative, so it has not worked to reduce my sexual tension.
I am terrified that if I tell this guy that he needs to step back, he will either deny the sexual tension between us or he will accuse me of leading him on.
I never initiate the texts, calls or (platonic) physical contact (hugs), but I usually respond because I don’t want to appear rude or unfriendly.
I love my job and I don’t want to give it up just because I am finding it difficult to work with him.
Cutting all contact/asking for a transfer is unworkable because we are part of a small organisation (less than 10 employees) and we need to be able to work closely together in future. What else can I try?
I have tried avoiding him-but it increases his calls and texts (which are always friendly/platonic and not suggestive). I have tried getting to know him better platonically as a friend (in the hope that I would learn his undesirable traits and find myself less attracted to him)-and I have just found myself more attracted to him-despite his flaws.
I wasn’t even sure if he was attracted to me at first, but his calls at odd hours and spontaneous hugs (not frequent enough to be an outright invitation but consistent enough not to be written off as entirely platonic) are telling me a different story.
I have tried using my doubt about his intentions to tell myself it is a one-sided crush on my part, but my crush feelings have not subsided.
I have tried bringing up his girlfriend in convos, but it hasn’t caused him to draw back.
I have tried using my crush to reboot my sex life with my husband, but he has never been particularly demonstrative, so it has not worked to reduce my sexual tension.
I am terrified that if I tell this guy that he needs to step back, he will either deny the sexual tension between us or he will accuse me of leading him on.
I never initiate the texts, calls or (platonic) physical contact (hugs), but I usually respond because I don’t want to appear rude or unfriendly.
I love my job and I don’t want to give it up just because I am finding it difficult to work with him.
Cutting all contact/asking for a transfer is unworkable because we are part of a small organisation (less than 10 employees) and we need to be able to work closely together in future. What else can I try?
