Please, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I once smiled at this guy (distant friend) and ever since, he'd try locking eyes with mine. Once, I was talking to someone and I noted him staring from afar from the corner of my eye. I ignored this and walked over to some other place, but he continued staring. I moved again and he leaned over to still continue staring. At this point, it turned into watching as his eyes followed everywhere I walked. I even hid behind something hoping he'd stop. However, when I stepped out, he was still there.. with the same look, still staring directly at me (like he was waiting until I came out of my hiding spot to stare). I mean I've been stared at by guys before and I take it lightly, but this wasn't staring, it was watching. It felt like sexual harassment and it was intimidating- I couldn't stop crying when I went home. I'm 25f, he's 28m.

Updates

+1 y

by the way he was already a distant friend of family, he was 'normal' before and only started doing this after I smiled at him at an event.

[Bee-Hatch]

Ask him why he keeps staring at you. Tell him he makes you uncomfortable

[TommyMountainFigure]

If you never looked at him at all, it wouldn't bother you would it? so unless he has developed the ability to fire lightening bolts from his eyes,.. do nothing.

[Asker]

Being watched is intimidating. I guess you just haven't experienced it before. You also don't have to directly look back at someone to know if he/she is staring at you. I already said, staring is fine, but this guy was watching me. Even if I turned the corner, he'd lean forward to watch my every move. I even hid behind something hoping he'd stop. But when I stepped out, he was still there, infront of me.. staring.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I wouldn't have a problem being watched, but if I did? I would go over and confront them. Can you not do that?

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're probably just a bit too sensitive.

[Asker]

I didn't ask coz he was being intimidating

[TommyMountainFigure]

It must be the way you worded the question then, because I was under the impression he hadn't said a word to you.

[Asker]

He actually hadn't said a word to me. He just stares the whole time. It is super uncomfortable, I was talking to someone and he stares, I walked to a different place, and he still stares, walked somewhere else, still stares without looking away.. so I thought hiding behind something would make him stop. I hid behind something, and still when I stepped out, he was standing there waiting for me to come out of my 'hiding spot' still staring. This is very intimidating, so I didn't wanna confront him, I just wanted to get out of there.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm trying to explain to you though. It is only as intimidating as you let it be. I can be stared at the whole night when I go out by anyone I neither know nor care. but if they want to stare? So what? If you believed in yourself more and said to yourself sod this moron. if he wants to waste his life staring let him.. You need to build up some mental strength. That's all I'm getting at.

[Asker]

Ahh I understand what you mean. I wish I can think like you, what you said is true. But I feel harassed. Infact staring for a prolonged period of time is sexual harassment, and a lot of people feel this way.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Remember the accident that killed Princess Diana? It was said, all her driver was doing, was to try and escape the paparazzi from taking her photo. right?
Till this very day I do not understand why he never calmly drove to the nearest police station and let the police deal with it. She would still have been alive today.
If you apply that same logic and if you think you are in any danger, get the police involved. I swear they will side with you.
If ther

[Asker]

Yes, I guess that it correct. However, I'm not sure if this level can be taken to the police at all. It's just that one has to deal with it themselves. It's kinda like bullying, it's not big enough to be taken to the police, but it is enough to make you upset and feel threatened. This is sexual harassment not assault, so I don't think I can do anything about it. I think what bothers me is that I've known this person before, and he was a good person. I also know that I kinda smiled at him, and this is what initiated this whole thing. Also, he is a distant friend of my family and most my friends know him and say he's an awesome person, but after this, I feel like he thinks he can just stare as he pleases and that I can do nothing about it. That is what bothers me. The fact that I am powerless, weak, and that I feel intimidated by him is the issue. I want to be strong and fearless, I wish I was.

Also with Dianna's death, the driver himself had a high blood alcohol level in his system, thereby assisting to impede his thought process while making him susceptible for the accident.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Maybe you can casually, whilst talking to your mutual friends slip into the conversation that his constant staring has you thinking about going to the police. There is a very good chance it will get back to him, and if it does? it might make him stop.

[Asker]

That seems like a good idea. It was also great that you said that it reflects something about him, and not me. I really appreciate it :)

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're welcome.