Please suggest. Should I leave him coz it's really hard to take so much of toxicity?

[Anonymous]

I ws in a beautiful relationship of 2 years wth this guy. Initial days were amazing and untill 1 and a half years thing were going great. I was so madly in love with him and so was him. We always cared for each other. I respected him a lot. I literally gave my 100%. But afterwards he got changed. I ws so shocked i couldn't believe if you are like this then who ws that with whom i fell in love. Without any genuine reason , he just started getting on my nerves. But i used to forgive him always. But there came a day when he crossed all d limits n he disrespected me , abused me n my family n gave threats. That ws the day when i couldn't manage to bear his toxicity anymore. I broke up. But after 1 yr he came back again feeling sorry n crying and asking me to stay with him at least as friends that he hs realised his mistakes and won't repeat ever in future. I always hv concerns for him so i couldn't see him like that.. i forgave him but i made it clear that i'm with u as a frnd, as a well-wisher forever' in ur good bad times as ur support. But i'll nvr be in relationship wth u. He agreed and then i emotionally supported him always. We talked good. But again he repeated that toxic behaviour with me. All those bullshits abusive nature n all. But again i forgave him and warned him.. but again for the third time he did that to me without any rsn.. and it goes like this only. But i care for him still.. i just forgive him everytime bcz i worry for him and thinking of him... But he can never change himself. It's really so intolerable. I can't deal with so much toxicity. My internal peace mental peace my heart everything is just so damaged because of him.. still i care for him.. but this toxicity i can't handle it.. literally my health my mental health hs been distroyed. This has become a pattern of him. What should i do? please suggest

[Anonymous]

Ok well nothing you really said says how he’s toxic. How exactly did he get on your nerves? What did he do to your family as far as disrespecting them? He abused you as in he beat you up? There needs to be more details to this. Women always say everything men do is toxic when it’s some they they don’t like or agree w. Most women don’t even know what toxic means. It’s just easy for women to call men toxic cause that’s what other women understand even though they really don’t know what it means. I mean hell a girl said she dumped her man because he was toxic. Because he wouldn’t give her money even though he already had given her some which she admitted. So a lot of times it’s not always toxic. So please elaborate so people can give a much more honest answer. Not to mention you’re putting yourself in this situation by continuing to talk to him. If someone was disrespectful to my family, abused me physically they’d be gone. But that’s the difference w men. Women dump a man but still want to remain friends w them or check in on them because they still care about them. He doesn’t want you as a friend. He may so say but that’s cause he hoping you’ll get back w him.

[Asker]

please don't talk about money , I should tell you that in a relationship of 2 years... i never demanded anything from him and never took anything even if he himself wanted to give.. but i never took it , instead i used to support him.

[Asker]

Okay i'll give you few exact instances... so one night i slept without talking to him. I was very sleepy so instantly it just happened that i slept without knowingness. U can understand what i m saying. And in the morning whn i wake up i straight up texted him saying sorry that i slept. Without understanding he just burst out like you r this you r that.. and gives verbal abuses n so much bad words and gave threats like if after today if you sleep on the time without my permission. Without talking to me.. doesn't matter how much sleepy u feel. I will do this with you. I have your mom's phone number and i will call and i'll make sure that she will get to know about it and you will be punished. He knows how strict my parents are... and these kinda threats just for sleeping once? Do you think it is good?

[Asker]

And one day i met him on my regular clg day but the plan was to be with him only the whole time by classes bunk. And we were on the bike, i just told him that i need to get my files checked by the teacher , it vl take merely 5-10 min. Let's go with me we'll go and in 10 min it will be done and the whole day i'm with you only. He got so much agressive on this thing. he just rided the bike in sooo much fast speed in anger and that in the market only where there was so much rush. and we were about to fall from bike. How can he.. if u love someone can you do these things? without concern that the person who is sitting behind you is your love and u r doing this just because i asked him to go with me and in 5-10 min just i'll get my files checked. Do you think it's good?

[Opinion Owner]

No it’s not good just reading what you’re saying. But I’m sure he has something else to say. But I will go w what you’re saying as he’s not here to tell his side. If this is what is really happening then you walk. Sounds like he has anger issues. Even if he texted your mom, told her whatever, sure they may be mad at you for a while but is it worth really being w him for the rest of your life knowing he’s like this? Probably not. Could get worse. Maybe even physically abusive. I don’t even know how you stayed w him for this long.

[Asker]

Exactly. He has bad anger issues... that's why i parted my ways... bcz right now it's like this... then it can also get worst.. if after marriage he starts raising his hand on me or physically abusive... that was my concern too.

[Asker]

He himself said that I don't know what happened to me at that time that i spoke so much... there was not even any such rsn dude... i was apologetic and i did forgive him a lot of times.. a lot of times... but it happens right.. how many times can i forgive... it has become out of tolerance level... literally i hv got my mental state as well as emotionally i hv got so much disturbed now.. i can't even tell u. How long should i drag it by forgiving n forgiving.. but he is not at all trying to change himself.. he says he will.. but he never does... and everytime the things he speaks are getting even worst as compared to the previous one...

[Asker]

He* was

[Anonymous]

He’s shown you over and over and over again that you should leave him, so do it already. It doesn’t matter how beautiful the relationship used to be when it’s in the state it’s in now.