Why do guys stop putting in effort after a while? (Page 2)
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It may not be that they aren't putting in effort anymore as much as you're so used to the effort they put in that you don't see it anymore. Say a man always opens the door for a woman, after a few years it's going to be normal for the man to do that and isn't seen as effort anymore in people's eyes
Not that I’ve ever dated, but they usually find a better, more interesting, more exciting, prettier girl, or they just get sick of you because you start trusting them too much and confiding in them more than you should, then when you realize you probably shouldn’t have told him all that, it’s too late because the messages have already been sent, and he just stops texting you which is the nicest way of saying “leave me alone and take your problems to someone else.”
Learn to love, understand your man. Learn to communicate with him.
On your end, be that sexy woman he wants, not the nagging, clingy, bitchy frustrated "girlfriend" he doesn't want to talk, hear from.
Give you both some time off from this...1-2 months. If he isn't making plans, calling. You have your answer. This is prob. not what you want to hear... same like you don't want to hear most of the honest opinion from here.
I'm not sure personally I think regardless of gender some people will just stop putting in effort for whatever reason. For me personally as someone that identifies as a guy it's a part of my values to put effort into a relationship because I have learned from situations in the past where I did not put effort in and the relationship unsurprisingly ended not too long afterwards but I suppose the relationship can end even if you put effort in.
Ok at the start of a relationship everyone goes in on their best behaviour it's how it works. But that takes up a lot of energy. Now sooner or later you have to get to know the real person. Probably isn't lack of effort it's you've just got expectations that it will be the same as the start for ever. I'm afraid it won't. But I'd imagine you're doing things a bit different from. the first couple of dates too.
The reason why I stopped looking because any girl who meets me she always goes to someone else after me then she quickly settles down with him / her. A few months ago I met this woman who was looking for anal sex and she was single and wasn't looking for any types of relationships then after we were finished. I haven't heard back from her until recently I reached out to her then she told me the news that she's in a relationship with a girl and her girlfriend who when I was alone with her she told me she's trying to propose to the girl who I fucked her ass. I tried telling people about my curse but they think it's bologna which it's really not and I don't believe in coincidences
Because we have to put on a facade just for you to start liking us. If we're not a happy loon who can't stop smiling and telling stories for just an hour, you immediately lose interest. After we finally have our hooks in you, that's when we can finally be ourselves.
Because the effort they did put in was never sustainable. They get comfortable or the woman stops appreciating the effort and takes it for granted. Just like how women put in effort into their appearance but after he says I do, she puts on 30 pounds in the wrong spots and walks around in grungy sweatpants.
Because most end up putting extra effort in to win girls over, its a road to disaster because your setting unrealistic expectations you will eventually not be able to keep up. Just be yourself, thats something you can keep up forever.
Can be multiple reasons
What you put in you get out.
What the other one put in the other one get out.
Attitude.
Priority.
Health/mental issues.
The other one is toxic as person.
Toxic relationship.
Mismatch.
Dysfunction in relationship like sex/communication.
To high standards.
Unrealistic standards.
Delusional standards.
To low standards.
One way relationship.
Very common both ways no matter gender.
Most of the time it happens , when they start taking you for granted. Your partner thinks you're always going to be there and put up with their bad behavior.
Its because their balls are empty. People think im crazy or gay or whatever but I've had several relationships where I withheld my seed for the whole time and never suffered this loss of energy and motivation you describe. Not that it helped because the women I was with were whores but hey, thats why.
Men and women both have to put effort in. But they also need to know how they can meet each other’s needs. I don’t have a boyfriend and much experience but I would do anything for a man. I have much love and caring to give. Unfortunately men are seduced by non genuine women with sex. And because I don’t show al my cards in the beginning I’m called lazy to let the men do all the work first. I also think this generation needs to know what unconditional love is
Dating is like putting on a act. Honestly. You shut up and try to make your person like you. Then after you accomplish that. You try even harder for them to love you. But once thats over, people become confident and comfortable thinking that love is enough to keep them around for awhile without the same constant act.
You forgot to mention that their true selves emerge somewhere after dating
Relationships are a 2 way street. If the woman stops trying.. so does the guy!
I doubt there can be concrete answer for this. There can be many reasons and some of them maybe like not being physically attracted to their partners anymore, falling out of love, losing interest etc etc.
I think guys who want to stay in shape to get pussy are bound to let themselves go once he has a girlfriend or a wife. Guys who want to be in shape for themselves and not care about getting attention and more female prospects are usually the one's who want that health mantra even until their 70s and 80s.
It’s not about keeping in shape, it’s about what he contributes to the relationship
Well I cook and clean, I run errands to get stuff done. If I was in a relationship and she’s not feeling well I would ask what can I do to help? if that’s what you mean by contribute, yes, I don’t abandon or neglect things I have to do. I don’t want to be lazy, it’s not a good quality.
But I will add I have sisters and some of them don’t clean up after themselves, they nit-pick my life over petty things when I don’t sleep around, I don’t party, I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, I don’t do any of that shit. I’m an introvert really, I don’t mind socializing but I prefer being alone then in a big crowd. I find people today fake and annoying tbh. I don’t want to get nagged because I’ve dealt with that. I think in this dawn of feminism age, women think they can treat men or guys however and it’s fine. It’s not, it’s rude and immature in my opinion. That’s why guys get lazy and not want to do things. It goes both ways. If a woman gets married with hopes and goals and aspirations and she’s stuck in a loveless marriage, either a) she’ll get a divorce or b) remain in the relationship and be miserable and lose that feeling of pride as well. We’re all humans with emotions but relationships are tricky and sometimes people don’t want to take accountability for their actions.
Because they aren't getting the same effort back. It isn't worth putting in all the work if your partner comes to expect it and doesn't do the same for u in return.
I'm a guy, and I don't understand it!!
If I am liking her, yeah, I am focusing on her, and chatting, and making dates, and wanting to be with her, and get to know more about her!!!
I dont stop putting effort into a relationship when I am in one because then I am not doing my part to be apart of that relationship. If I were to stop putting in effort that would mean I dont care about the relationship or the woman anymore and maybe I need to end the relationship.