What are some signs a guy has lost interest long distance?

[Violeteyes21]

We used to talk all the time throughout the whole day, he used to reply pretty fast, but the past three months he just became increasingly distant. Takes 12+ hours to respond even though he is clearly online, he doesn’t ask many questions anymore, and is very dry in his texts, doesn’t call anymore… I can take the hint and I have given him space, but then he complains that he’s always the one to reach out first usually even though that’s not true. But still- he is not giving me green lights to move forward, so I just back off because I’m not going to be desperate for his attention when he doesn’t put me as a priority. He rarely even asks me how I’m doing :,/

it sucks because I really like him, but I guess as I’m writing it I just want to know if anyone has gone though something similar.

[DumBear]

The signs are what you described. Its also really shitty of him to accuse you of never initiating with him. I would just tell him straight up...
Hey, i like you but you have been very distant and cold so I've only been matching the energy youve been giving me. I am not attracted to people who dont want an active role in my life and while i like you im also not going to sit around and play guessing games with you.

Something like that.
Then he knows he's on the line and he knows where you stand.
If he apologizes and makes actual attempts to do better, then great.
If not i would just treat him like a basic friend. And give yourself space from him.

[Violeteyes21]

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to answer me back. If he brings up why I’m pulling away, then I will say that. It’s direct, open and honest.

[DumBear]

No problem, its bestbto just communicate and respect people. If they cannot return that basic level of respect or make an effort to even try to communicate back with you then they just aren't worth the effort you're putting into them.
To answer your original question i have gone through this with people and i have done this to people. Not always when im in a relationship but sometimes just as friends.
I am currently going through this right now with an ex who insists they want me around and are still figuring their feelings out. Meanwhile if we talk they usually only reply to about 1/3rd of what i say. They sometimes take hours or all day til they respond, leaving me angry and upset. And sometimes they dont message me for weeks, when they finally do out of the blue to share something with me they immediately begin being distant again.
I've just decided to accept it and step back. If they feel differently eventually maybe we can work on things. Right now its clear they dont want me involved much lol

[Violeteyes21]

Oh my gosh…. that’s literally exactly what I have been going through. This guy isn’t my ex, but we’ve been friends for about a year. He tells me he wants me around, but his actions don’t show that. They take hours to reply and I can’t help it, it makes me upset :,( I don’t feel like a priority AT ALL! But when I give him space, then he starts to act like he cares again. And it’s been leaving me so confused and sad😞 so I totally understand what you mean. What you described is exactly what I’m going through too. I am doing the same, regardless of what their words say, their actions prove otherwise. And that’s what we have to do- just step back and focus on ourselves. I’m going to be kind and polite to him, but keep a distance between us as of now because I can’t help but get hurt by his actions. I try to be reasonable but I hate feeling pushed away, it hurts a lot. I’m not even asking for him to talk to me everyday, but I mean show me sometimes that you think I’m special, that’s all I want, you know what I mean. But anyway, I think it’s good that you’re taking time and just stepping back. That’s honestly the best and healthiest thing you can do to protect your mind and heart. At least for me it is. Because I like him too much to be just friends and when he acts consistently inconsistent with me, it hurts and it DOES affect me because I like him. So just protect your heart the best way possible, I wish you the best of luck with things between you and your ex~

[DumBear]

Thanks, itll get figured out eventually for both of us. A person can only take so much before they run out of water in the well and are left feelimg entirely emotionally drained. When that happens (like it has for us) this scenario plays out where we stop attempting to fix things and instead focus inward on taking care of our now damaged selves. Healing and accepting that they just dont feel the same as we do.

Hang in there, you'll get yo an okay place. Its hard when they keep reaching out, but just take care of yourself first.