Guys, Say if your physically attracted to a girl would you guys have a hard time, with keeping your hands to yourself?

[Erica686]

So long story, short. I had, this friends with benefits who seems to be very much attracted to me physically. Like we both get along very well nowadays and the reason why we're currently not texting each other is because sex was coming to be a little bit too regular. And, he's not trying to commit, not saying he has to, but I'm not the type to have a friends with benefits for a long time and no commitment. So I did was necessary and to break it off. But, we were able to remain and stay good friends or good associates after. But, there are times where I will ask him to come over and of course, he's expecting something lol. But, I always make this joke towards him and say, I'm sure you will be able to control yourself and keep your penis in your pants lol. And he laughed at that, but that tells me that he doesn't have any self-control. So my question is to you guys. Can men, really behave themselves around women who they are very physically attracted to or can a man control himself? 🤔

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do all the time. I won't bother a woman I'm physically attracted to.

But it's not the same. If it's a girl I've been frequently sexually active with before. Whose still communicating with me and has invited me over to be alone with her.

If she's clear she doesn't want anything. I'll stay hands off. But to be realistic. I'm going to at least give it a shot. Given those specific circumstances.

I don't think it'll work going back to purely platonic friends for you two. At least it'll take a while and you'll have to be consistent with a total hands off policy. Because if you accept him groping and caressing at all. He'll keep seeing how far he can go.

[Erica686]

So I'll let you in on why I post what I did and ask this type of question. I will probably give you a better understanding of what's going on. But anyways. Him and I had a conversation about a lot of different stuff yesterday then it was at one point, I asked him to come over and see me. But I also felt as if he was giving me the run arounds and making excuses. Keep reading.

[Erica686]

Me: So I then said. (The place, that I have to go it's not that far. Don't make excuses lol.

Him: I'm not lol

Me. Dnt play games! If you feel uncomfortable then say so, if you're actually busy with work then cool, but if you're not busy and just saying that you are! You need to get a spanking LMAO. Him: LOL. SO I was trying to the term why he was laughing was it because what I said and he thought it was funny was he laughing because he knew, that he wouldn't be able to and he would want sex or try. But I also feel like his reasons for making excuses and delaying the meet up. Is because a few months ago I mention to him, that I had a boyfriend. And he said that he respect that. But him and I agree to be or start are you building a friendship. And I don't have an issue with him coming over. But in his mad. I don't feel like he likes the idea of me being with another guy. 🤔

[Opinion Owner]

He probably just saw your LMAO and didn't really pay attention.

As for the rest. I don't think he's seriously interested in building a friendship. Maybe dangle you along in case the prospect of sex comes along.

I'd advise figuring out exactly what you want. Maybe go out and find a guy who wants a serious relationship. There's plenty of them out there.

[Erica686]

Can you also answer this. HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS, AM I WRONG OR IS SHE? ↗

[Erica686]

And also. Your right... That's why I cut him off SEXUALLY. It's CRAZY... That he's not able to be around me... WITHOUT wanting sex.. But I get it.. He's physically attracted to me. 😏😳

[Rohaan2020]

I have a frnd whom i am attracted sexually and shez not... and she knows how I feel about her but still we're good frns... yes sometimes it gets difficult for me to control myself and i have done some weird stuff in front of her.. and i usually comment about her body and how much i like her ass n ol... but yes i never forced any physical thing onto her

[Erica686]

HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS, AM I WRONG OR IS SHE? ↗ you explain and answer this

[Spookydood]

It's physically possible, sure. If i were to hang out with a former friends with benefits who'd told me she didn't want to get some, I'd try to make sure we were hanging out somewhere the temptation was as limited as practically possible.

[Erica686]

Facts and I was trying to convince my friends with benefits to come over because I wanted to see him but I already know he wants to smash. But I meant to him about 2 or 3 months ago then I had this fake boyfriend lol. So since then he has become very distant but he also said that he respect my relationship. But anyways the point is I was telling him yesterday don't be shy don't be nervous it's okay and I basically told him that I'm sure that he can't control his self and his penis around me and he put LOL as his respond. So when he laughed I assume that he couldn't control himself or maybe he was responding to my lol. But truthfully I don't think what I was saying was actually funny I was being honest and telling him that you can come over. And he thinks I really do have a boyfriend but I feel like maybe he feels like if he comes over he's going to want to try something I can find the message really quick and then I'll send you.

[Erica686]

I got it. So basically I felt as if he was giving me excuses normally he would have been like I'm on the way. But I can't get mad at him that he's trying to actually respect my fake relationship lol. But this was a respond to him when I felt like that he was giving me the runarounds

[Erica686]

(The place, that I have to go it's not that far. Don't make excuses lol.

I'm not lol

Dnt play games! If you feel uncomfortable then say so, if you're actually busy with work then cool, but if you're not busy and just saying that you are! You need to get a spanking LMAO

And I trust you! Just let me know I don't want to put you in an awkward position. And I'm sure you'll be able to control yourself around me you and your penis)

[Erica686]

And he put LOL as his respond so I don't know whether but he was laughing about what I said or if he was laughing because he couldn't keep his pants up and I was telling the truth?

[Spookydood]

Dunno for sure. Probably laughing at what you said about him being responsible with his dongus near you. Like i said, it's not an easy proposition to find yourself in. I know i probably wouldn't trust myself not to try and make a move.

[Erica686]

I wonder if I didn't put laugh my ass off where he would have laugh too. But wow you and him are nuts... Lol. But I like the honesty as well. 😁😁😁. So I guess in other words even though he's laughing at certain things but he's kind of laughing because he knows that he would have trying to make a move if he came over pretty much

[NoOneEver]

I mean anyone can control themselves.

if they get too hot they’d leave and head home to masturbate. If it’s that uncontrollable.

only a bad person would try and not keep it in their pants around someone who has already said no.

but if you truly like the person and have good chemistry you’ll keep joking and flirting with them. With the hope in your heart they might change their mind..

[Erica686]

Right maybe you can explain a little bit more detail to me so I was trying to convince my friends with benefits to come over but I noticed every since I told him about my fake boyfriend he has been keeping his distance and respecting the relationship and I can't get mad about that

[Erica686]

But yesterday I wanted to see him and any time that I would have asked him he would have been like on the way but I felt like he was kind of giving me the runaround at the same time. So this is what I said to him

[Erica686]

(The place, that I have to go it's not that far. Don't make excuses lol.

I'm not lol

Dnt play games! If you feel uncomfortable then say so, if you're actually busy with work then cool, but if you're not busy and just saying that you are! You need to get a spanking LMAO

And I trust you! Just let me know I don't want to put you in an awkward position. And I'm sure you'll be able to control yourself around me you and your penis) and he responded back with a LOL but I'm not sure if he was laughing because I was or if he was laughing because he's saying that he doesn't have any control, or he wouldn't.

[NoOneEver]

Maybe he feels like if there’s nothing in it for him. He shouldn’t bother.

Maybe he also can tell when you’re lying? And you saying you had a fake boyfriend has turned him off a bit?

[Erica686]

It seems to be. Cuz he was asking me about where was my boyfriend then he sent I thought you said we couldn't do anything anymore for a while, while you're with him. But here's my thing he was willing to come over and you're right I definitely do feel that he is a bit turned off. But if he did come over do you think that he would have tried something like is that laugh really him saying that he doesn't have any self-control. Or was it just a laugh at what I said, or both. He has told me that he's physically attracted to me and he's like I know it seems like I may be wanting sex all the time but I'm just physically attracted to you. That's the thing about it he can't keep his hands off of me but I really want to test him to see how he is with me just not having sex if he's able to do it. And if he doesn't want to come around and try to at least hang out then I already know, where his mind is smh.

[NoOneEver]

I think it’s a both kind of thing. You said something that made him laugh but he feels like you already know him well enough that he has no desires or intentions to come over without it leading somewhere. Which is why he’s doubling down with “I thought you said you couldn’t do anything for awhile” I believe he thinks you want sex and are just being coy with him.

[Erica686]

Well you know that and hit it right on the head. And I think the way that I responded to him he probably thought other. And just like you said he's probably like well if I can't get none, then I'm going to procrastinate and just waste time. And the way then I was texting him I was being flirtatious lol. So again he probably took what I was saying to it being okay she's trying to hook up.

[NoOneEver]

It’s sad he can’t just be real with you, but you weren’t exactly being 100% either. So you two have a bit of a mind games thing going on.

[Erica686]

🤣😛👀 uh oh. I think he feels so way, about my so call boyfriend. Because any other time he wouldn't be acting like this lol. And I know, I shouldn't lie to him 😳😔. But that seems like the only thing that wings him off. Me, personally telling him that I don't want SEX. It's not something he wants to hear. And I always seem to give in after awhile. :( So me telling him about this dude- it seems to work. It he does make him not want sex with me, and that's what I wanted... Was for him to stop asking. And it work! but it also keeps him at a distance from me. Like yesterday, when we was talking and all. He WASN'T really communicating like... He wasn't engage into the conversation. And I'm like, damn dude... He really ain't trying to deal with me, while I'm dating. And again, I'm happy for that. That shows that h3 has some type of control. But I swear, for some reason. Next year (2020) he'll be asking again. So it's not about what I say to him or say something about a fake boyfriend. He'll still try asking years later. Like I'm 30 and he's 31. We are older, we started sexting each other in are early twenties then mid-20s. Like damn... How much sex do he need for me. And RN he's not trying to commit... But I'm not waiting around. Like, he says if things is meant to be, then it will be. But we have been doing this for to long :( I need a break. And I don't want him to feel that I DON'T like or enjoy the sex with him. Bc I do. But if sex is all he wants from me.. Then ugh my gosh! Why would I wait around and settle for that. 😳🤔

[Erica686]

HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS, AM I WRONG OR IS SHE? ↗

[NoOneEver]

Sounds like needing a break is what you need. You need more for your life than someone only willing to have one thing with and you forgo the rest of the experiences an actual partner would be willing to have with you.

Love is a sweeter spice than any..

I’d just stop focusing on him as much as you can. Stop texting etc. get back into some hobbies you enjoy. Some tv shows you need to catch up on. Chat and flirt with other local guys.

Maybe you should just give him and ultimatum. That if he wants you around in his life he needs to commit to more than just sex..

[Erica686]

I like that. And I agree with you 100%. Bc I have my days, where I act more like his girlfriend then his friend or friends with benefits. Of course, we aren't hooking up anymore. But that man just drive me crazy... About him. Ugh ahhh. I know he told me, a few months back. He said, if things are meant to be, then it's meant to be. He doesn't when to lose me, and I'm going to always be here. But I'm afraid, just not the way he wants me too. I mean frfr 7 years is enough sex RIGHT? HE talks about us having sexual chemistry, and it being one of the best things that we do have. LIKE WTF!! BUT I FEEL IN HIS HEART AND MIND. That there is something else... He feels. Most guys would just move on and be done with that girl.. and also did you see that link that I sent to you I would like your opinion and thoughts on that. Thank You

[NoOneEver]

It is enough, to know whether you want something more with the person or not for sure.

[Erica686]

Facts. But I can't be completely just mad at him because I allowed it to go on for so long until 2020. The only time that we didn't do anything was back in 2017.

[Erica686]

And I'm not just going off of what the psychic thing but they're both made it clear I told me that he's not looking for a committed a serious relationship but also he doesn't want to lose me at the same time but he knows the consequences in order to have me the way he wants so he keeps his distance. 1 psychic said and it's almost like he wants me to wait around for him until he's ready to commit to me.. she said it's kind of like he likes all things is she likes to be able to have his freedom! So ugh. And that's why I decided to dip because little things like that irritates me, and knowing that he's dipping his dickstick into others... That's hella nasty. 😜😜.

[NoOneEver]

Maybe you could write a book based off all the drama you’ve been subjugated to.. strike it rich gurrrllll.. 🧏‍♀️💰💵💸

[Erica686]

Lol Nawl I'm good

[anylolone]

Nope, not at all. As easy as it come.
Specially nowdays. Nowdays you are lucky if he does anything after you ask him for it.

[Erica686]

Okay. I share with you why I ask this sort of question. So yesterday, him and I had conversations about a lot, then it was at one point I wanted to see him. So I felt that he was giving me the run arounds and making excuses and delaying the meet up. So this is the conversation that I copy that stood out to me the most

[Erica686]

Me: (The place, that I have to go it's not that far. Don't make excuses lol.

Him: I'm not lol

Me: Dnt play games! If you feel uncomfortable then say so, if you're actually busy with work then cool, but if you're not busy and just saying that you are! You need to get a spanking LMAO. Then he said LOL. And I was trying to determine what he was laughing at him to the point where I said about spanking or when I said I knew and know that he can control himself and keep his package in his pants.

[anylolone]

He said spanking to tease you, it worked and you freaked out that you couldn't keep your bits in your pants.

But the important bit is the first bit "if you feel uncomfortable, say so" you hated that.

[Erica686]

HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS, AM I WRONG OR IS SHE? ↗

[Erica686]

No I told him that I was going to spank him lol..

[anylolone]

Well, then what's the issue? If you feel uncomfortable just say so, and that's it.

[Erica686]

HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS, AM I WRONG OR IS SHE? ↗ can you answer this. I need your input on this one.

[Slim57]

If we've been dating a while and Im extremely attracted to her yes

[noohair]

Humans are supposed to have control.

[Jay3344]

He can control himself

[Erica686]

I think so too. He's just choosing not to

[Dinosaursandanime65]

That’s easier than existing

[Erica686]

? what

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Keeping my hands to myself

[Erica686]

Haha I see lol

[BattleToadBC]

Yeah of course lol