Silver fox playing me?

[Anonymous]

So, there's this older guy I've known from my past job. I'm 33 and he's 51 but he is a silver fox. At first, he pursued me and asked me out on a date then canceled because he said the age difference could be an issue and he felt like he could be holding me back. What does that even mean? He also said he likes me and likes to talk to me. We talk almost daily and it's pretty random, usually nothing sexual. We are both freshly out of toxic relationships and both agreed we need to heal before we pursue any kind of relationship. Is he just playing me, or is he just not sure of his feelings? Or am I a backup plan? For reference, I don't have a lot of dating experience and all of my relationships have been unhealthy. I enjoy talking to him, and enjoy the friendship. Should I cut it off or just be friends and see what happens?

[Lockey_]

What you describe sounds like he was just honest with you and there are some feelings from his side. You know, the older you are, the less fluctuation happens in your feelings, so i guess it is true after all. On the other hand, looking at your age, you are one of the best options he currently has.

What he could mean by saying he could be holding you back is that you still have a chance to have your own family, it is a chance that you will not get with him most likely. If you think this could be the case, maybe you ask him if it is and then you think about it yourself...
On the other hand, if you don't want to get kids or you are not able to, he might be interested in that too...
Did you talk about this topic with him?

[Asker]

I have not talked to him about the kids topic. Should I? After thr date was canceled, we talk about general things, nothing usually too serious.

[Asker]

Also, I've never wanted my own kids. But I've never talked to him about, since I figured dating from his side was off the table.

[Lockey_]

Hmmm well maybe you bring up the topic. I know from experience that when dating girls your age, the "she only has a few years left for getting kids" plays a role. Sure i might be wrong and his motivation is totally different tough... Anway, talk don't hurt

[Eric6666]

I don't have think he is playing you. Yeah he could but I do not see the signs.

It feels to me that the guy just genuinely cherishes you and your relationship but he is worried that he may be denying you of the chance of marrying someone around your age, which could be better for you.

[spartan55]

Do I dare ask what a silver fox is?