Did you learn there's a difference between wanting to be friends with and trust everyone and people actually being trustworthy?

[Anonymous]

there's a lot of people i, in my state of naivety i guess?, want to be close friends with and trust but i realized even if i wsnt to trust them, it doesn't mean they are trustworthy.

I have a hard time with reality tbh.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes there are circles of trust. Takes time to move from once to the next

[Asker]

Can you tell me more please about how someone goes from one to the next ring?

[BarryLiverstone]

Sure but it’s not like a hard rule. More like there are fam then friends then co workers or classmates and so on. It takes time to get closer to the fam ring

[BarryLiverstone]

Not sure that was helpful lol, lemme know if you have more qs

[Asker]

Thanks now I know what the rings are. Just wondering if you meant to say that someone can go from your coworker to friend to family. And if so what would they need to do to do that?

[BarryLiverstone]

So for me everyone starts as a stranger and I don’t trust them. For example I don’t trust you; you are a stranger. Therefore I will not share many personal things. But if we talked for a few weeks and I saw your actions meet your words you could be no longer a stranger. Each time I decide I can trust someone more they feel more connected to me

[BarryLiverstone]

I mean my bestie is like my sister now. But that’s after years of relying on each other and being there in toughest of times

[Asker]

Nice. That is an interesting way of looking at it. Thanks or explaining it to me. The funny thing is that many times I become briefly pollyanna-like and want to feel (at least in my head) like I am close with people who are strangers or acquaintances or even people I already know to be untrustworthy. So it seems sometimes we can be our own enemies lol.

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s the luxury of being online also. Yes these are strangers but you have simulate some pretty intense relationships and help each other, even knowing you will never meet. It’s an odd dynamic and def there are online people i trust as well. So I think I can relate to what you are saying

[Asker]

Oh yeah if I have a friend online I can trust them. Sometimes you cannot make friends with people IRL so online is great alternative.

[BarryLiverstone]

Exactly. It’s one of the benefits of gag if you stay and are authentic. You welcome people to follow you and get to talk and know them beyond asking a general question. Then an online bond is formed and you can rely on them to get advice you wouldn’t ask about in general

[BarryLiverstone]

That online friendship is earned over time as you are open and honest with them

[BarryLiverstone]

So thanks for asking the q and feel free to follow

[Asker]

Yes thats what I hope to happen. I use to be really to myself but I am ready for a change. And thaks... I will add you.

[BarryLiverstone]

Thank you