Shy guys, do you act cold around your crush?

[Mel2021]

Hey guys, would you act cold sometimes around your crush due to nerves or butterflies?

There is a colleague of mine who I like and he’s quite quiet normally and seems shy. Yet even though there are days he seems interested and wants to talk to me, the next day he becomes distant and aloof.

Is this common?

[Lionman95]

I don´t know if it´s common but I would consider myself a shy guy and I do that too. I can tell you why because I simply can´t "read" women. I regularly have a very hard time realizing if a woman is interested in me or not or what women think of me in general. So there are times where I want to get to know my crush and start conversations mostly but not only over texts (hence we don´t meet everyday sometimes not even every week).
So I try to get to know from her reactions how she feels about me and because there are times where she takes longer to answer or her answers are way shorter than mine because she answers with an emoji or just a word I get insecure and step back because I don´t want to make her uncomfortable.
Also in normal conversations I often feel like I´m not sure if she really enjoys the conversations or just has them with me to be polite.
I don´t know if you´re guy is the same like me but it could be that he doesn´t know if you like him or not.

[Phoenix-gb]

Sometimes, can be situational, usually for me I was just awkward until the inevitable rejection. Is he usually more comfortable when your're more alone together and aloof when with friends, if so might be an issue admitting around his friends.

[Mel2021]

Now that I think about it I suppose he tends to be more aloof when we are around other members of our team as we work together

[Phoenix-gb]

Unfortunately, the only person who can answer how he feels truly, is him. Might need to just out and ask him how he feels next time you're alone and he's opening up more.

[Waldoe]

yes... it is a form of "self-defense" protecting himself from getting Broken by rejection... shyness is a terrible burden; I am 72 and still shy... also... it is OK for you to "Step -up" and take the 'lead'... (Not control) it can be as simple as saying... "I have been noticing you too, would you like to be friends?" thereby skipping a lot of chatter and cutting to the point. If he responds favorably you will learn that he is full of interesting and clever things...

[Pyrofox]

Probably having a family related issue. Is my guess.

[bowenw]

It may be interpreted as cold when in fact it's fear.

[AndrésC64]

Yes that's what being shy means. Do you want to go out with him? If so, then ask him. JFC, why can't girls understand this? You have a voice and agency too. You don't have to sit back and played a wallflower.

[Wise4myage]

I wouldn't, but I can see girls would think that if a guy was really shy.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah. I do that shit all the time. (Sorry)

[SaintZameer0]

Yeah it is.
Same here with me lol