Isn't a guy, who only cares about looks and sex shallow?

[Anonymous]

Obviously, there has to be some kind of physical attraction to be in a relationship, otherwise you just have a friendship, but personality is equally important. (having a nice sense of humor, being smart, empathetic, respect animals, your fellow human beings and environment, kind and mentally stable) Ted Bundy and Jack the Ripper were both charming motherfuckers in my opinion.
Without personality, you're just sex buddies, friends with benefits. It's 50-50 to me

If I realize that a guy sees me as a sex object, I'm gone faster than light. We have different priorities and values in life

Updates

+1 y

I was just being sarcastic, when I said Ted Bundy and Jack the Ripper were both charming "m***ckers". It was just an example how good looks can be deceiving, because they were both psychopaths

[MrOracle]

Obviously the answer is yes. Looks are definitely nice to have in a partner, and sex is important too, but it's far from being enough to build a relationship on. We all would prefer our partner to be good-looking, but most of us aren't going to end up with someone with "Hollywood" good looks.

The thing is: there are a good number of guys who aren't really looking for a relationship at all - they just want casual sex relationships and nothing more - and the more attractive/popular a guy is, the more he's likely to only want casual relationships - it's an exponential curve.

If a woman is dealing with a man who most women would rate as a 9 or higher in overall attractiveness - especially if she herself isn't a woman that most men would rate as a 9 or higher *as a potential relationship partner* (not just in looks) - then she is putting herself into a no-win situation: the chances of getting a guy like that to commit to her are the same kind of odds as winning a Lotto jackpot.

Yes, women much farther down the scale can attract those men for no-strings-attached casual sex, but that's a COMPLETELY different situation and has almost nothing to do with his standards for a relationship. Most 9+ guys don't want a committed relationship with ANY girl, but in the rare chance that he'd consider it, he's only going to consider it for a girl who is high in looks but also high in the characteristics for a long-term relationship/wife.

We all understand that a man with average looks and an average job with average income, with no notable status in the community, isn't likely to be able to attract a former teen beauty queen who wants to be a wife and mom, and knows how to cook and care for children - that kind of woman can attract much better, and almost certainly will - she's going to have a lot of options.

It's just the same that a woman who is, say, a 6 in looks, who knows how to be a good wife - or a woman who is an 8.5 in looks but who only has career training and no "wife" training - isn't going to be able to attract a man that most women are attracted to and assign a high value to, and get a relationship from him. Might he bang her a couple of times? Sure, if it's convenient. But offer her a relationship? Not a chance in hell.

The vast majority of men understand their value on the dating market - not many men are delusional and think they're a 9+ when they are a 4. The world is VERY good at reminding men of their value, or lack thereof. The same is NOT true for a lot of women - there are a LOT of women who are a 4 as a potential relationship partner who believe they are a 9, and think they deserve a man who is a 9, and will not consider, or even look at, anything less. Those women may DATE men who are 9s (as long as they are willing to give them no-strings-attached sex), but they don't get relationships from them. The problem is that they seem to think that if such a man gives her SEXUAL attention, that's the same as relationship value, when the two things couldn't be any more different than if you were comparing a lion and a squirrel.

[Trevelyan88]

Agreed...

FYI Jack the Ripper was never caught, so how can you find him charming?
I think you might be mixing up your serial killers :)

[Asker]

I think I've read somewhere he was good-looking, not sure lol. And I don't find them charming, it was just sarcasm I just used them as an example that looks isn't everything in life, because they were both psychopaths

[JuanVeIasco]

For a short-term relationship, I only care about physical appearance, for a long-term relationship, beauty and personality matter. There are women who are only good for sex, others are good for a serious relationship.

[JuanVeIasco]

Ted Bundy was a psychopath, all psychopaths are charming, because they are very good at deceiving and pretending.

[BarryLiverstone]

If a guy or girl only cares about looks then they don’t want to connect as a human being. Yes that’s shallow

[Anonymous]

It would appear to be that way

[Myselfdj]

Yes I care about personality and looks in a woman