Men, how do you feel about raising a non-biological son or daughter?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

So, ideally, I would personally not prefer to raise a child that isn’t mine biologically. Now, is it possible that I would get into a relationship with a woman who has a child and love him/her as if he/she were my biological child?

Yeah, it’s possible.

Updates

+1 y

It’s just, I don’t feel like you can fully escape that internal feeling of wanting to raise your own biological daughter or son. They have your genes and quite LITERALLY a part of you.

Also, I’d also feel somewhat of a “stranger” to the child,
where no matter how close I get with him/her and their mother/my wife, I’d feel like it will always be ME and THEM in some sense.

[Bluemax]

I would be fine with it. I would consider it a blessing.

Biology has little to do with whether a child is yours or not.

What matters are the values you instill in the child and the love you create. Many children and biological parents *don't* form a bonding love. Witness Charles Manson and his mother, or Adolf Hitler and his father, or Brian Wilson and his dad, and so on.

My sister is not my parents' biological offspring. Yet she formed a bond with them. They *are* her parents.

If I learned I was not the biological offspring of my parents, the strongest reaction you would get from me is a shrug and a "Huh" from me.

[Bluemax]

I once asked my friend how he would react if he found out his child was switched at birth in the hospital. He said he wouldn't care. I asked him what he would do if a court ordered him to switch his daughter with the other child who is biologically related. His daughter was about a year old at the time. He replied, "I'd tell the court to go to hell."

[Slartybartfast]

As someone who becomes attached easily I've learned the hard way that I have no rights to them. Once they are gone they are gone.

My mom used to date this really nice guy (Jim) who really treated us well. We lived in a nice house in a good neighborhood, he was kind and funny. For some reason she dumped him for the stereotype bad boy guitar player and we went on welfare and moved to an apartment in a scary side of town.

I missed Jim, I know he was broken up about it.

I'm glad it worked out for him, he married and had kids of his own.

[Jamie05rhs]

Jims are good people. 🙂

[Tasfia10]

Yea i definitely wanna have one some day even if i have my own kids cuz it breaks my heart how kids are growing up alone without a family it's tough u know

[lrina]

personally, i'd be fine with it. i'd rather adopt one rather than have my own tbh.

[Andres77]

I was briefly a step dad.
They were kids.
Innocent little kids.
When I realized the monster I'd married it was too late.
The kids didn't deserve to have a beast as a mother.
But loyalties being what they are... they turned on me like their mother had.
So I abandoned all to their fate.

[Andres77]

The kids deserved better but I couldn't let them destroy me.

[Slartybartfast]

This is a big issue, becoming attached to children you have no rights to.

[t-8900]

It's not for me. If I'm not having my own I simply don't want them. It's too much time and investment for something that doesn't continue cmy family legacy. I would instead by possibly opened to do charity work in one of those big brother programs for kids without a male figure in their lives. That way I can help out but not have such a financial burden on me.

[Williams28Jao]

I have no problem raising a child that’s adopted. Some children don’t ever get adopted and they grow up without either a mom or a dad. Grow up their whole lives as orphans. Not saying you have to adopt cause I’d like my own flesh and blood son and daughter. Keeps the generation going. But overall I wouldn’t mind adopting

[Drumlin2001]

If I were single I would be open to dating a single kumquat, I'd be a single dad. I would happily help raise her kids as I'd want her being happy helping to raise mine. Obviously, I would never replace their dad, I'd be his biggest advocate for him getting all the access he should have. It would be a bit a deal breaker if I felt she was in any way hindering him being a dad unfairly

[OlderAndWiser]

I have raised step-children. It is a huge obligation and the only reward is the internal satisfaction of knowing that I helped a chld develop into a better person.

[KrakenAttackin]

Your answer is a more well reasoned than mine. I am all for helping kids but not of it means being a slave to an awful woman and her history of poor decision making.

[Jamie05rhs]

Fuuuuck that! The whole point of practicing safe sex (which in my case is abstinence) is to -- wait for it -- ... NOT HAVE KIDS! 🤯. (Imagine that!)

So why would I want to raise someone ELSE'S kid?

That would be like working without getting paid.

[iJokeTeeth]

Well, my son is 8, he isn't biologically mine; his biological Dad walked out on him when he was 7 weeks old, I met my boy when he was 10 months old and we've been inseparable ever since. It's one of those things where I love him so much that I just don't ever stop to think about how we aren't blood related. My biological daughter is loved just as strongly and she loves my boy, we're all happy in our own right.

[Fuentes]

For all you know that woman lied and the dad was cut out of his son's life. Im so tired of you dudes who condone that behaviour from women and don't press the women to have the actual father in the kids life because you don't wanna deal with the fact another man fucked your girl at one point and is also in your life.

[iJokeTeeth]

Wow, you're bitter and stupid, that's a terrible combination but you seem to pull it off well; ironically that is all you'll ever be doing.

[Fuentes]

You wish you were the biological father but one day the child will want to know HIS real FATHER not some Hand me down Dad.

[iJokeTeeth]

You sure you like the word hand don't you? Foreshadowing much

[Fuentes]

Theirs karma for dudes like you

[iJokeTeeth]

There's school for dudes like you, give it a try.

[Fuentes]

Theirs acting schools for people like you cause you love to pretend

[iJokeTeeth]

So at what point are you gonna take a step back from your bitterness and realise that you're making up every last bit of your bitch fit here?

[Fuentes]

What do you mean it's weird to pretend your the biological father of a child that osn't yours and never even made an attempt to find out what happen to the father & went off the woman's word like a simp would.

[iJokeTeeth]

You really don't understand that you're making up your own context?

[Fuentes]

Yeah right, you expect me to believe the baby mom tried to reach out to the childs dad? Yeah right she probably has no idea who the dad is and you just fell for it.

[iJokeTeeth]

So you're admitting to making up your own context then? It's kinda sad that you need to invent stories just to keep up your bitterness. I feel for you man, being that mentally done must be hard to live with. Sorry for your past or whatever has hurt you, it must have been big.

[Fuentes]

It's funny cause you keep saying it's made up but. you have not corrected me so i must really be heading the head on the hammer

[iJokeTeeth]

Would correcting you even work? You've convinced yourself that you know my life better than I do, so defending that would be pointless because you'd only ever clap back with your bitter incel level theories. Prove me wrong?

[Fuentes]

Exactly i am RIGHT and you know it

[iJokeTeeth]

Oh cool, you did actually admit it, didn't expect that. Well, obviously I know you're full of shit but I'm glad I was right in my assumption that you're also an idiot. Thanks for confirming.

[Fuentes]

By proving me to be right?

[iJokeTeeth]

Hey, if you wanna take you making up your own story as proof then you must need this win, which is seriously pathetic but I can't figure out why. Once again, sorry for whatever has you so bitter. Maybe she'll come back to you one day, although I can see why she wouldn't. If you wanna talk then message me sometime, I can sympathise despite your apparent lack of a fully functional brain.

[Fuentes]

Sympathize why you take on children and pretend your the biological father?

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Ooof dude, if your issues could talk they'd be screaming "My Dad abandoned me and I hate the world because of it"

[Fuentes]

Lol don't self project onto me

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Now that's funny, you've been doing that all along. I enjoy talking to people like you. You low IQ lot are always so oblivious of your own arguments and I just love it, it's great.

[Fuentes]

So because you self project about your dad leaving you, you think that says you have a High IQ?

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes I just realised, you're reading my comments the wrong way around aren't you? Dude, they're about you, read them again slowly

[Fuentes]

No you're self projecting horribly about yourself

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Oh... I get it now. Ok dude, don't accept it, that's your right.

[Fuentes]

I am right and you know im right, so you can stop deflecting.

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Dude, honestly, not even kidding, I have really enjoyed the exchange between us, your bumbkin like mindset, backwards logic, terrible grammar and your continuous creation of your own context in order to project your own issues out onto a person that you absolutely nothing about has really, and I do genuinely mean this, made me so much more happy that I decided to be the role model my son needed; I've seen in you how people without that strong sense of fatherly turn out, bitter and stupid.

From the bottom of my heart, thankyou, your terrible waste of a tiny little mind has made me smile.

[Fuentes]

So you were not trying to be a role model before? I told you that you should contact the father instead of playing house because you're not blood to that boy.

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Aww man, every word you say is just making it better. Please, continue to dance for me, you stupid, stupid moron.

[Fuentes]

The only one dancing is you, im just lookinf at you self project and feel cornered because deep down you know if the real father steps in you will be forgotten and that's something you hate and it's wrong of you to keep your son away from his father

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Care to share where your issues come from?

[Fuentes]

What issues with the fact you choose to not reach out to the actual father? Where does that come from?

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Clearly your need to invent stories comes from somewhere? Your bitterness is very focused which implies you've experience abandonment and neglect, considering you're projecting heavily it's easy to assume that a male role model, most likely your Dad, either walked out on you or spurned you somewhere along the line.

You've gotta understand, your little bitch fit is nothing new, I've been on Reddit for years and nearly everyday I see someone like you posting up a story or comment about how this or that OP is terrible but it's all a fabricated story based on very little actual context; you're just another idiot making up a story. However, the reason for your issues is interesting and I am genuinely sincere in talking to you about them if you want to.

[Fuentes]

Writing me prarsgrsghd full of emotion just proves I'm right.

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Fuentes - you have not corrected me so i must really be heading the head on the hammer

Ironic, I love that shit.

[Fuentes]

You can quote me because you know im right just let me know im right can you hear me now?

[iJokeTeeth]

@Fuentes Hey do me a favour, tell me why you think what you think, point to the context you are using to justify your argument. Look, I know and you know that you can't, however I have seen plenty of arguments where someone has read something wrong, let's assume that happened here.

[Fuentes]

You said you been the father because the dad walked out at 8 months. I told you to that how do you know he walked out and why would you believe the first thing the woman is telling you, about it? How do you know the dad just fully walked away and have you ever tried to contact him about his son? Does he even know he had a son or the kid is even his?

[iJokeTeeth]

See, now those are questions which are normal, except you didn't ask me anything, you told me what must have happened; you made up a story.

[Fuentes]

No i gave you the questions, you chose and still chose to avoid the answers

[iJokeTeeth]

Would you believe anything I tell you though?

[Fuentes]

If i ask the question why would i not believe you?

[iJokeTeeth]

You started out this entire thing by making up a story, then you ran with that story the entire time. Pro tip, if you want to ask a question and get an answer, don't open up with direct accusations about a situation you have literally no information about.

[Fuentes]

So why do you still refuse to answer the question?

[iJokeTeeth]

Ask away, one question at a time

[Fuentes]

Did you ever try to reach out to his main father? If not why keep him out?

[iJokeTeeth]

We reached out, he refused to have any contact. We have tried several times over the years for various reasons and he still doesn't want to know

[Fuentes]

Did u file for child support on him?

[iJokeTeeth]

No, he willingly pays, it was his idea. We told him we don't need it but he still keeps up the payments. We've never asked for more and all the money goes only on my son as that's who it's intended for.

[Fuentes]

So he pays child support but wants nothing to do with his kid? have u ever spoken to him yourself?

[iJokeTeeth]

Yeah that's right, he repeatedly cheated on my partner and his Mum has said in the past that he feels really guilty about it, so we think the payments are kept up to help ease his guilt.

I've never spoken to him but thats entirely because he refuses to answer the phone to me, we don't know where he lives so we can't just go round and talk to him.

[iJokeTeeth]

I hope that served to disprove your weirdly insistent ramblings about how you thought you were obviously totally, unshakeably right about four complete strangers lives and choices. Next time you lash out just try and remember that just because you have bias doesn't make you right, especially when you have to make up stories in order to fulfill that bias.

I hope he comes back, if you don't then I hope you get better because lashing out at strangers is never gonna fix anything. All the best dude.

[Fuentes]

Hold your horses pal i get busy in life to respond back with ultra speed but anyway. I guess he's a deadbeat i have seen many stories of people just claiming the guys a deadbeat and the man took over as the hero with the cape but the real story was the father was cut out but ok you finally answered my questions so we're all sqaured away guy.

[BCRanger10]

I think it's good for men to be open to it. Statistically speaking, a child is more likely to be a healthy and well-developed member of society if they have a positive male role model.

[Staximus]

I wouldn't mind if I had a wife or girlfriend that had a kid from a previous marriage. I don't know about being in a relationship with a woman who has a baby\very young child with some dude she is no longer with, that shows she makes poor life decisions.

[crossdressingrihno]

I'd still want to have kids of my own but I wouldn't mind raising other kids alongside them that would be totally fine with me matter of fact I'd even be happy to if I have even one kid of my own then I'd be happy

[LostLove1999]

My Woman's Kid (s) Are Also Mine, That Doesn't Conflict With Having My Biological (s) With Her, Wtf After I Decided To Marry A Beloved girlfriend She "Offered" Me To Get Rid Of Her's Back Say To Their Father Or Her Mother To Not "Disgust Or Bother Me", How'd I View Her?, Your Wife's Or Even Your girlfriend's Is Yours.

[Kaneki05]

Adoption is something that may interest me later on in life but doubtfully. I have not stake or care about them having my dna in them lol

[bamesjond0069]

Not interested at all. This is why i dont date single moms. They already have a family they cannot escape and therefore you cannot have your own normal family.

[FinalFantasyBro]

I don't mind I ain't interested in having kids at the moment but if I did have children either biological or non biological I still will treat them as my own children.

[RationalMale]

I would maybe consider if I and my girl adopted a child.

I would not raise a child that a girl had with another guy. 100% no.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I don't mind adopting but i need to have a childless relationship first before we agree to adopt one. Which is why it is really less likely for me to date single mothers.

[Trevelyan88]

I'm fine with adoption...
I have no need to pass on my genes per se

[notwoke]

nope, don't get drunk on pussy and sign up for $500,000 of guaranteed expense that someone else created. "F" that

[YesIWouldLikeFries]

Why would any man want to use his time and resources on a child that is not from his seed?

[Tjw78]

If I fell in love with the mother, then I wouldn't have any problems with it.

[Carolinacowboy]

I feel really good about it because I am one of those dads that took a non-biological daughter and took her as mine!

[Twalli]

Since the only kids I gave will be adopted by me I will gladly do it. I don't know if I am anning to raise a child yet, though.

[noohair]

That is what a man would do. I don't know about boys.

[Chthou95]

Fucking stupid. Why would i raise someone else's kid? Doesn't make any sense

[TX651]

When I married my wife, she already had a baby from previous marriage. I adopted that son our 1st year.

[jimmy2]

If I took a wife with kids I would love her and her children as my own

[jshm2]

It's called "adoption and fostering" bucko.

[KrakenAttackin]

Fuck that.

[Fuentes]

I ain't that babies daddy

[Iron_Man]

I’d rather have my own blood

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Animal Behaviors, Owen Grady

[Avicenna]

Hell no

[Pterodon]

I was fin with it

[Randalama]

nonstarter

[iamacuriousguy]

uncomfortable

[anylolone]

I like the idea.

[grega239]

Nope