My guy best friend suddenly stopped talking to me?

[Anonymous]

Sorry y’all, this gonna be long. This happened a few years ago.
I had a guy best friend, we will call him C. We met at college when we were both dual enrolled in high school & college, we went to different high schools. Our friendship progressed fast, we were super comfortable with each other. Since the beginning he would insist,”we can never be anything else even if we have feelings for each other so we don’t lose our friendship,” even though he knew I was sort of involved with a guy at the time. I’d always reassure him I didn’t want to lose our friendship either. Then he started saying I love you, in a friendly way & doing boyfriendish things. He invited me to dinner to meet his parents, during which his mother told me,”he’s been so much different since you’ve been around, in a good way.” He unofficially invited me to his schools prom a few months later. He invited me to his place when his parents weren’t home & we wrestled & then he threw me on his couch & we cuddled. We had jokingly wrestled before but he had never been that physical with me before like with the cuddling. After he said the whole thing about just being friends again, I reassured him we were still just friends. Then he randomly drops off the face of the earth. I figured he was just busy. Then two months later he texts me that he got a girlfriend and they were going to prom. I was a little hurt but told him I was happy for him and glad to hear from him. Then he never text back and all these years I’ve wondered wtf happened.

Any ideas? I honestly really loved him deep down and I think he was the one that got away. I found out he is at the same college I might be transferring to so I am thinking about trying to get ahold of him again but I am honestly terrified he might have a girlfriend and I may never get a chance with him as a friend or anything else because I feel like I screwed things up.

[SueShe]

Well, it is really obvious to everyone but you.

You (and him) have insisted numerous time that your relation would only be a friendship relation on a platonic basis. So far, so good.

The problem starts when both of you simultaneously start involving feelings other than those of friendship in the relation. That was the beginning of the destruction of that relation.

Nobody wanted to admit their feelings and you were both cheating on your own feelings and promise you made to each other.

He realized first that he was more than just a friend and that he was infatuated in you. That is why he cut the ties for a while. His only option to get over you was to find a girlfriend, which he did. Whether he really loves her is doubtful. She is an alibi, a substitute for you but he does not really love her.

You in turn got hurt because you always thought he would come to you and express his true feelings for you.

Yes, he is the one that got away and it is best to keep it that way and not to attempt to ruin a relation. Perhaps you learned your lesson. Hiding your feelings is never the right thing to do.

[Twalli]

It is possible he used you (not in a bad way) to be less nervous around girls. I don't know why, but I am a lot less nervous around girls now that I have a girlfriend and it has nothing to do with the fact I am unavailable.

[CuriousMufuxka]

You fucked up. If you do transfer, think about why he stopped making contact.

[Iron_Man]

Talk it out talk to him

[flirtatiousgirl]

Is he get love you