I was dating a guy for about 2 years. We have a ten year age difference. When we first got together he was dealing with childhood trauma and I had some growing up to do. I had a very emotionally abusive mother and had to work on that as well. At first he was very distant and didn’t show me much attention and I tried my hardest to give him attention and love him in his own way. It got to the point where I had held my feelings in and started being passive aggressive. I’m very stubborn and he point that out but I didn’t accept it. We got into a huge argument and it made me a little freaked out about the relationship because of the way the argument made me feel. It kind of reminded me of my mother. After that I started to push him out even more. I wouldn’t be vulnerable and I wouldn’t let my walls down because I was scared he would think I was flawed. I’ve never let my walls down for anyone. We broke up but kept seeing each other. He ended up changing for me and giving me everything and loving me so much. It freaked me out even more because I didn’t know how to accept it. I rejected him for a year while we were seeing each other. He got to the point where he wanted a partner. He got on hinge and he thinks he’s found a girl. I am extremely heartbroken and I’ve never felt this way about a person. We went back and forth messaging about it and I finally opened up to him and told him why I do the things I do. He said he’s going to give the girl a chance. It breaks my heart because I’ve had to deal with my problems and I’ve brought it into the relationship and pushed him away. All I want to do is message him but I think it’s making him angry because I waited this long to let him know. Im now ready to get married and have kids within the next few years like he wanted as well. Im scared that there is no going back because I’ve rejected him and was critical and brought out my childhood trauma. It’s making me sick knowing that he is gone. I’d give anything to be with him again.
Is he gone for good?
