Am I reading too far into what my boyfriend did the other day?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend “jokingly” went through my phone the other day. We have many problems but he’s never been the snoopy or controlling type (until now possibly). He grabbed it off the bed from beside me and laughed like he was being cute but it didn’t even seem like real laughter. He has done this before but never opened my phone. He opened my phone and said “ooh let’s see what pictures you have in here” and I started giggling, trying to get it back from him. He then opened my Facebook messenger app instead of my gallery and actually proceeded to go down the list of people I’d been texting to “see who I’d been talking to”, all the while acting like this is still some funny joke. I started to get anxious because I don’t have other guys I’m talking to but I do sometimes vent about his occasional mental abuse to my friends and I knew he’d be super mad if he saw that. So I went from real laughing to nervous laughter and repeatedly tried swiping it from his hands, as he continued looking at my shit. All of a sudden he asked in a much more serious voice if I had something to hide. I told him no and he literally was like “you swear on my life”. I told him yes and got upset and said what he was doing was just genuinely bothering me. He went back to his “joking” attitude, saying he was only kidding and returned my phone to me. I would appreciate any opinions. Am I over-analyzing this?

[nachosaresexy]

I don't blame you for being upset. Even tho y'all are in a relationship there still needs to be boundaries that are respected. I think you should have a follow up convo with him about it, and just let him know that even tho you have nothing to hide, it's hurtful and upsetting that he wouldn't trust you, or at least wouldn't respect your basic privacy. Maybe remind him that he probably wouldn't feel good about you snooping through his phone (not that you would).

Do you think there's some bigger root cause problem going on?

[Iron_Man]

I don’t feel that way I don’t even have a password on my phone I think the girlfriend and the boyfriend have every right to look at the phone and if you get upset what are you hiding? My past girlfriend always used my phone and talked on it To talk to her family

[Asker]

Me and my boyfriend know each other’s passwords and when we need to use each other’s phones, neither of us object. Going through your significant others phone for no reason is toxic af 🤷‍♀️

[Iron_Man]

Not if they have doubt and for some reason they need to check it and for somebody to get upset means you’re guilty

[Agagagagaga]

Why would you need to use each other’s phones when you have your own phone?

I’m not trying to be rude, but to understand. This seems to be common with couples of younger generations, phone sharing. I mean you already have a smartphone with the apps that you like to use and that you already have set up to your specifications, so why use someone else’s?

[Iron_Man]

@Agagagagaga She moved into my house she didn’t have a phone

[Agagagagaga]

@Iron_Man Sure I get that, but I was wondering with the Asker?

I’ve just noticed a few posts on this site where issues pop up in relationships over phones, giving your partner your passcode, what social media people they are following etc.

[Asker]

@Agagagagaga I was referring to when our phone is dead or we can’t find it. Like when it’s actually necessary we will use each other’s

[emmajoyforever]

I've been in your situation and I promise you this it is not worth being with someone like that

[MatteBlaxk]

Well, I guess he's just playing it safe. God knows what SO's are doing these days. People are cheating left and right.. so yea. I think it's healthy if they check from time to time cause it shows that they care. Or maybe they're the ones who's cheating and wants to know if you're doing the same. Lol. Went a little too deep there😂 Just be safe.

[Anonymous]

he's a psycho and you need to run for the hills far away from his ass as you possibly can get