My best friend is being very confusing, or maybe I'm just reading too far into things? Maybe she's just naively innocent?

[Kratox]

I have known this woman for the better part of a decade. We didn't really get along at first... I actually made her cry when we first met. It took some time but somehow due fo being in the same friend group we came around and found common ground. Ever since we've graduated about 9 years ago she's always kept in contact with me. She would call once a month or so to keep up with each other etc.

Within the past 2ish years things have really changed though. Her and her boyfriend of 9 years had gotten into a bit of an argument that went south and almost ended. During this time she was calling me daily multiple times a day. I helped her through it as much as I could, and they eventually worked it out. But since then things between us have been... weird?

Even after they had made up, she started calling me more. Started out as semi weekly and worked it's way to where we are now which is daily anywhere between 2-4 times. Whenever it turned into daily calls, we started making plans to go to concerts and festivals and shit.

We always get mistaken as a couple in public to the point where we both find it annoying. Her parents even think that there is something between us because of the way she "lights up" when around me. Like I said earlier things between us have been weird. There is definitely some tension most of the time and while I've made jokes about things I've never actually acted upon anything out of respect for her relationship.

Well one of the most recent cases of me potentially reading too far into things is what happened at a recent music festival. About half way through the second day were standing in the crowd talking between bands, and she acts kinda cold towards her family that is there as well. She doesn't really get along with them for long periods of time. So when they walked away I told her that she was acting like a bitch and I thought it was hilarious. She turned to me and leaned on me, and said "But I'm your bitch". Which kind of caught me off guard.

[midnightmoon05]

Well…wondering what her boyfriend might be doing?
taking another girl out? Obviously not your business.
Let someone else deal with that bitch…why get involve? Stop being HER bitch.
she doesn’t sound good…not to her family and not to her boyfriend. She is also using you.

what have you been doing with your own relationship? She is blocking you from developing proper relationships with other girls.
kick her out of your life and get yourself a woman who can be your girlfriend.

even is she broke up with her boyfriend. next month and want to be your girlfriend. She is a low quality woman and will cheat on you. She spells toxic. One day when you have a gf…she will also fick it up.

I am harsh on you because You deserve better than being someone’s bitch.

[Kratox]

Thank you.
I will take all this into consideration moving forward.

[Reem12345reem]

you're best friends , isn't that what best friends do?

[Kratox]

I mean I guess so? I always think sayings like that are for significant others though. Maybe I'm just weird with that thought.

[Truthatanycost]

That's sure a long way of saying 'emotional cheating'

Reverse the situation and place yourself in the boyfriend shoes. This is the problem with people. They forget one of the most basic teachings that could transform life..

Matthew 7:12

12 “Always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that sums up the teaching of the Torah and the Prophets.

[Kratox]

I have thought about how I would feel if I was him. It's not on me to be the one to bring anything like this up to him, he doesn't even like me. So he wouldn't talk to me in the first place. On top of that I've tried distancing myself from her before, but she insists on keeping on the same as we are.

[Truthatanycost]

No one said anything about bringing this up to him. Simply staying away would be enough. For example the musical festival. No one held a gun to your head to go with her...

[Kratox]

That's hard to do, we're both so ingrained into each other's daily lives. She literally calls me to talk daily. You're right I didn't have to go, but I had already bought the tickets, I'm not gonna not go to it.

Since she is so clingy and persistent, how would you recommend moving forward in distancing myself?

[Truthatanycost]

If that were me I would just remind her that she should be talking to her boyfriend about those things. One has to remove the influence that the ego plays. Deep down you know it feels good to the ego that she is giving you this attention instead of him. That is the trap of the ego. Personally I would just stop taking her calls but that's me...

[Kratox]

To an extent I definitely agree. I think it's an ego stroke on both sides tbh. The issue for me though, and this might seem like a cop out. Is that she doesn't have many friends to begin with outside of me and her boyfriend. She's quite sociable but very odd and most people think she's just plain weird. So cutting her off like that would make me feel extra bad. I'd feel like I was abandoning her.

[Truthatanycost]

It is common for us to make rationalizations in such cases.

[Anonymous]

Men and women can’t be “just friends”. Someone always catches feelings.

[Kratox]

While I agree that someone always catches feelings. I do also feel that nothing has to come of those feelings. Just because one person loves another, the other is not required to reciprocate the same feelings. If people can come to terms with that then I think everything can be fine.

[ChooChooHaha]

No. You're not.
The hell is going on?

[Kratox]

I'm not sure, there's been a lot of other instances of similar stuff being said. But at this point I'm not sure if they're jokes or what.

[ChooChooHaha]

Exactly. YOu're not crazy.