Do guys find it annoying when a girl seeks validation a little too often?

[RavenBloodswiin]

So i have this problem whereby i guess i dont see my own value?

I met this guy just over a month ago & im honestly so so in love with him. Ik its early stages & all that but I've been hurt a lot in my past so I've put up quite the collection of walls which have deffo all came crashing down within a month? He makes me feel like no one else has ever made me feel before. I know its cringy but i do feel like im experiencing a kind of love like I've never know before & never knew existed..

He has been coming over to my house almost every day since the day we have met & no one has ever made time for me like that before.

So my big problem is that, im scared. im scared of him leaving & me being absolutely shattered again.. i kinda already truly believe that if that happens, this will be the greatest heartache of my life..
We have told each other we love each other & decided to officially start dating 5 days ago. I just feel like its complicated in the sense that he hasn't told hiss parents yet, which i get cause were interracial & his parents are very traditional so i wouldn't even imagine forcing him into having to tell his parents & maybe we dont even stay together 4 months & he has to deal with the backlash from his parents.

I do however feel because of my general overthinking & such, i might ruin this for myself as i keep asking him if he's sure this is what he wants (even though i see him so often), or if this is even fair on him because its a little complicated?

I dont really know how else to explain the situation lol. I really just need some advice on stuff not to do as to not make him run for the hills with my dumb ass overthinking butt. lol.

Hope this makes sense to someone. Thankssss lol

[IMuser]

It gets annoying. As much as I hate to say this, I have been the guy would need "reassurance" because of a lack of self worth. Even I got mad at myself for being this weak and 2 years later, i realise that i should seek a relationship only when I can be a dick and comfortable in what I am and what I want. You got to please yourself (without harming others. It's not being narcissistic but being real: knowing and getting what you want while being aware of the consequences of your desires)

[RavenBloodswiin]

This is so true. I do however believe that if you're with the right person they can help you wth your self worth? I don't know. Im weird like that lol.
you're rigght tho

[IMuser]

If you are finding the right person, you are getting dependent on them, like a drug to keep you alive... What will happen if that person dies? Maybe that person, the person who was your strength gets crippled somehow or loses their strength?

The above situation would be similar to daddy/mommy issues.

[RavenBloodswiin]

Is that always a bad thing tho? Like to be obsessed with your partner? The bigger thing in my opinion is to WANT them, not NEED them. Thats when it becomes dangerous.

[IMuser]

When you want them enough, you get addicted to need them.

It's like ice cream: initially you want it but when you have it regularly, it becomes a habit (or anything with sugar)...

I will be a little sexist here but it's much more acceptable for women to be obsessed to a man than a man getting obsessed with a woman... It's something which is difficult to explain, it's like my personal experience.

As long as you can manage the feeling of wanting then and needing them, you will be fine

[JamesDiaz11]

Yea, you’re clearly emotionally damaged, and unstable. This would be exhausting to constantly validate you, reassure you, etc. bc you let yourself get attached to other men in the past. You’re also putting him and the relationship on a pedestal, which never works out well

[RavenBloodswiin]

Thanks for the opinion!

[boggboss]

Yes it can be vary annoying and if it was done too much qpuld be a deal breaker for me

[RavenBloodswiin]

Each to their own. I think sometimes girls overthink the smallest change in guys demeaner or whatever & we then kinda ruin things for ourselves by accident.

At the same time tho, i dont think its completely wrong as were just trying to protect ourselves too?

[boggboss]

But it goes to the point where u show a clear lack of trust at which point what are we doing if I'm constantly having to reassure u that means u constantly think I'm going to betray u

[RavenBloodswiin]

I feel you. I think it can be extremely frustrating if someone is constantly asking if you're sure you want to be in the relationship etc. We dont do it on purpose though. We just want to put put our own minds to rest ig.

But i do get where you're coming from 110%

[boggboss]

And equally I understand its not done on purpose but past a certain point I'm not hearing are u sure u want to be with me and instead are u going to break mu heart or leave me

[RavenBloodswiin]

This is honestly something i never thought of.. i didn't know thats eventually where your head would lead you.

In turn how would you say the best approach to this situation would be? To just calm down & stop taking everything so personally? I suppose if he didn't want to be there he wouldn't?

Also while on topic though, is there a limit on like sending really deep lovey messages to a guy before it becomes too intese? lol. Sorry About all the weird comms

[boggboss]

Na your comms are fine to sending lovey dovey messages its truly depends on the guy some guys love it others don't really care

As for what u can do past a point u need to start challenging your own overthinking with that understanding that yes if he didn't want to be there he truly wouldn't and to only take serious things as reasons to question

[RavenBloodswiin]

This was honestly so helpful... Thank you so much!!

[boggboss]

Sweet well good luck 👍

[Avicenna]

Depends on how much she does it and where/how she seeks that validation

[Wise4myage]

Yes, because it can make you look really insecure. Focus on getting over being scared.

[RavenBloodswiin]

Facts, Im working on it!

[Wise4myage]

Excellent.

[jahaims]

Definitely