I’m very close to my brothers but one in particular, we are like best friends. He has always respected my decisions and supported me in everything. For many years I refused to be in a relationship because I didn’t feel ready. About a year ago I felt like I wanted to start dating and I met a guy and we started going out. My brother was giving me all kinds of advices before my date date with him and stuff…now after a year, my boyfriend brought up the subject about how my brother is overprotective. It didn’t make sense to me because they have barely talked but I found out that my brother would tell my boyfriend things like “don’t mess with my sister or I’ll find you and kick your @ss”… and things like that. I was shocked because my boyfriend thinks he is too overprotective and now I don’t know to do.
Would you consider my brother to be overprotective?
There is a reason for this. Your brother does not trust your boyfriend. He probably gives off a bad vibe to your brother but your brother does not have the evidence he needs to confront you about it so instead he is warning the boyfriend to watch himself.
"He has always respected my decisions". If this is your brother normally then he would be the same way in your relationships if he trusts the guy. Us men can sense when another man is bad in some way. Talk to your brother and ask him openly how he feels about your boyfriend and why and do not get mad at your brother, no matter what he says.
Your boyfriend is ELECTIVELY associating with you; your Brother was BORN into his position and hell or high water, he will FOREVER BE your brother... he's reminding your Suitor that YOU do NOT exist in a familial vacuum as an Orphan.
Should your boyfriend behave callously your brother will be consoling You for a LONG time, if your Suitor acts selfishly your brother will make CERTAIN that all the pain he causes WILL BE returned to its Sender commensurately~ THAT,' is... 'brotherly love' !
I think your brother means " Don't play with her feeling" or "you better have a real feeling for her"... He's not overprotective, he just knows that some guys play with girls feelings or doesn't take relationship seriously so he wants to make sure that your boyfriend will make you happy and will not break your heart... I think that's a good thing though
my brother is protective but not overprotective. especially if we go clubbing together he makes sure to keep creeps away. i'm really grateful, he makes me feel safe
Maybe, he loves you and can't bear the idea of some guy fucking with your heart or your head.
Has he recently told your boyfriend to watch his step? Or was the last time months ago? He might have to develop trust in your boyfriend first before he can really let go of that fear of you being hurt.
If it really becomes a problem, you just need to ask your brother to take a step back, let him know that you trust your boyfriend and that he doesn't need to worry. But remember that the origin of that behaviour is your his sister and he loves you, you dont need to give him shit for it, just reassure him that things are alright and you're happy with your relationship.
well, it’s actually not being “over protective.” I have a younger sister too and if she had a boyfriend no matter how good the guy is i’d always want to protect her and i wouldn't trust the guy fully. At the end of the day she’s family and its a natural instinct to keep the family safe.
Anyone who loves you won't be scared away by your brother. Anyone you love you will defend against your brother. Your brother isn't acting poorly though, he is creating an opportunity, specifically one where the only guy who suceeds with you, is the guy who you can vouch for, and wo vouches for you. It's a filtering system.
Well , I grew up in the family which are conservative and overprotective but anyways if I had a chance to born once more again I would definitely choose the same family members again , I love them so much that I could sacrifice everything for them without hesitating or having any doubts.
He cares about you enough to protect you, which is good, but he is also scaring potential men away and not letting you grow up, which is bad. Start chasing women away from him until he gets it?
What your brother said is completely appropriate and correct. If your boyfriend can't handle the heat, then maybe he's feeling guilty or nervous because there's something about him that isn't honest.
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