How to deal with this guy who seemingly dislikes me for no reason?

[Anonymous]

I met and see this guy through common friends, who are mostly his group of friends (I know some people in that group and sometimes get invited). Initially he was nice to me, a bit flirty. He is handsome and charming and was not indifferent to it, and I proposed him to go for a drink just the two of us to chat about some common interests. He said he’d love to but pretty much ghosted me afterwards. I’ve never really insisted or behaved differently around him after that but he pretty much stopped talking to me. I try to behave in a friendly way just like with other people of the group, as I’d like to just transform the dynamic and be friends but he is not responsive. I can’t tell if he’s embarrassed or pissed off. He won’t even answer messages and I know he’s very kind and responsive with other people in the group. I don’t know how to turn the page on this initial small misunderstanding (mostly caused by himself…) as he’s completely shutting off…

[boggboss]

Just sounds like he is not intrested in you in that way or believed u liked him and thats why he acts cold now

[Asker]

Yeah but I’ve moved on and tried to be friends, or at least to have a civil conversation with him since we see each other, but nothing. Actually once I tried to chat him up and he told me I was being indiscreet (as if we had something going on that we needed to hide from the group… completely contradicting…)

[boggboss]

Him saying that shows he clearly feels u haven't moved on so for him now this is him being civil and casual

[boggboss]

Why does it bother u so much?

[Asker]

Because I don’t know how to act and as a consequence whenever I hang out with these people and he’s there, I don’t have fun. And I like those people

[boggboss]

Because your focused on him and not the group simply accept he dont want to talk to you and enjoy the company of the others

[Asker]

But he’s an adult. He flirted with a girl who answered she would have liked to go for a drink and as he didn’t reply when she proposed a day, that thing ended there. He’s acting like a child

[boggboss]

And even if he is thats him why are u so fussed on him acting like a adult just focus on you stop spending so much time worrying about how he is acting as its clearly effecting your ability to be happy

[Asker]

Actually, another boy in that same group asked me out (not one of his close friends) and I told him I wasn’t interested. And I am friendly and normal with him since and he is with me. Like adults

[boggboss]

Again good for the both of you but just because thats how you two dealt with it dont mean that's how he will deal with it

[boggboss]

But overall I think u should just stop focusing so much of yourself on his behaviour and just live your life

[Pyrofox]

Probably crushed on you and maybe found out your taken and now wants like nothing to do with you.

[Asker]

I’m not taken and I doubt he crushed on me if he didn’t go out with me when I offered?

[Pyrofox]

I'd say just give him a date offer without calling it an actual date then. Sounds like he's just not sure how to take it with you being so up front. XD.

[spartan55]

You keep talking about acting like an adult, yet you won't even talk to him about it... yeah that makes sense.

[Guy13]

Can't you be honest and ask him sincerely if you did something that offended him?

[Asker]

I’ve been meaning to do that but I don’t see him that often and when I do I am so stressed by his behavior that I pussy out and don’t do that

[Guy13]

It is what it is, I guess...

[Gent207]

Just be the bigger person and don't let him get under your skin

[In_Trance]

What's wrong with you?
Why would you entertain this at all?

[Anonymous]

Either ask him or just move on.

[Asker]

I’d move on if it didn’t impact my friendship with the rest of the group. The other night we went out and it was 5 of us including him and he did not say a word to me… usually we see each other in a bigger group so it’s fine but the other night it was really unpleasant