Urgent what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I just found out my husband had the strippers number from his friends bachelor party saved in his phone.. when I first saw the saved number a couple days ago he explained that she was dropping off cocaine that night, he never even saw her and that the boys did the pick up when she got to the hotel. We moved on from it that day because I didn't have a problem with the drugs as it was a bachelor party.

Today, I had a horrible gut feeling that he was lying because he has been acting so guilty since so I looked at the bachelor group they made to talk about their plans and her stripping advertisement photo was on it. (I found out what she looked like through her whatsapp pic from his phone because she's still saved). He has also contacted her on multiple occasions since the bachelor party. His excuse for those times is he spoke to her boyfriend about a marijuana prescription he wanted to get.

Now I know snooping is wrong but I'm 5 months pregnant, if my husband did something with this girl after the bachelor party, I'd want to know so I can see how I want to proceed with the relationship. Please don't tell me I invaded privacy because he has clearly lied and now broken my trust so I don't see what I did as wrong. I feel like I found something valid to be angry about.

He's now asleep next to me it's 5am and I just want to slap him awake and yell.. what should I do? Do I lose it at him or stay calm?

[HollyK21]

I don't know where you live, but where I’m at marijuana is legal and you don’t need a doctors prescription. You just need your I. D, and once you’re in the dispensary there’s a plethora of options and at least one employee there to answer all your questions. Even if you’re ordering over the phone there’s a representative to talk to you. If weed is illegal in your parts, him needed to contact the stripper for this information rather than asking a friend makes zero sense. Like when would there have been time for him to have an in depth chat and learn that she has a boyfriend and he’s weed-savvy? Bc to my knowledge a stripper at a bachelor party isn’t making small talk, she’s busy entertaining, gets paid then leaves.

[Asker]

I'm in Australia so he has a medical prescription for it. Apparently the night of, he told her about it and she said my boyfriend would be interested blah blah.

But I 100% agree with the last bit you said.. I think something else has happened..

[HollyK21]

I really wish I could play devils advocate for him, especially since you’re pregnant I’d feel so much better giving positive feedback. But in an honest way, I don’t think he’s being forthright. He could’ve picked a much better cover up, but saying he mentioned this to the stripper and all that stuff, it’s just not making sense. I want to be even a little optimistic, so I will say that if the party was a flop, then sure that exchange could happen. But they aren’t paying her to sit and shoot the shit about weed, and unless the tips were fantastic I highly doubt she’s spending time off the clock to hang with those guys like a friend. Unfortunately my thoughts are that maybe things went a little too far at this party. Not saying there was a hook up or anything, but he could’ve enjoyed her more than anticipated and had strong chemistry. Since he had her number initially, it wouldn’t be hard to hit her up afterwards. All of this to say, maybe you should confront him and see what he says. Go into the conversation trusting your gut, and I hope he doesn’t disappoint.

[Asker]

Update. He woke up so I asked him why he lied to me about it. He said "I didn't lie". So I asked if he cheated on me and he just said "no" and went back to sleep..

[YES12]

I would of done the same thing trust your gut. I don't snoop at all. I totally understand your situation. So what I would do is text her thinking of you miss you in his phone. See how she answers

[Asker]

My gut feeling has always been right. I might give that a try or call her straight up and ask for screenshots of deleted messages. Do you think that's a bad idea?

[YES12]

No give you a peace of mind. Let me know how it goes. Call her yourself. I would you deserve the truth.

[TommyMountainFigure]

If I told you the best thing you could do is leave him, but the best thing you could do for your child is stay. What would you do?

[Asker]

Of course I want what's best for my child. I grew up in a toxic household myself.

But do you think it's good to stay in a relationship with zero trust just for the child to grow up with both parents together?

[TommyMountainFigure]

I think unfortunately,, that is the choice you have to make. because if I had to choose? I would say he's cheating.. or he would of said.. look hunny I've got this stripper's number on my phone but... etc etc.. .. IF it was genuine.. At least that is what I'd do anyway. Not that I do drugs, and the two strippers I know are friends of my G/f

[TommyMountainFigure]

Luckily I never had experience of that so I'm not the person to ask.. I mean.. cohabiting as in sharing the home but being separated within that home.. that could work?

[Avicenna]

Calmly confront him and ask for the truth

[Asker]

Do you know much about strippers? Do you think something could've happened for her to have given her personal number?

[Avicenna]

I've never been around a stripper (or at least one who was at work), but his story if total BS.

[Guy13]

Sit down 🪑 with hubby

[Iron_Man]

Divorce