I was at church today and a older man in his late 70s early 80s rubbed my back up and down while talking to me?

Question

I am 28 and I was signing up to help with the church with a special event that's coming up. He came up to me and offered me to help this a specific task they really need help with. I said I would help and I signed my name up.

While he talked to me, he stood super close to my face like he had zero regard to personal space and he at first started to touch my arm while talking to me.

I was fine with him touching my arm and then later he upgraded to rubbing my back continuously and I felt very uncomfortable but I was too nice to tell him to not touch me.

I would like to say I'm a virgin and waiting for marriage. I have zero experience with men so I was a deer in the headlights when this was happening but I acted cool and nice to him even though I didn't like what was happening.

After I signed up I left. What should I have done? I feel like what happened is my fault because I didn't stand up for myself. Did he harass me or sexually harass me?

Man-O-Metal · Accepted Answer

What he did was very inappropriate. If that continues, just make excuses for yourself to leave. I have noticed that some older folks tend to get a little touchy sometimes, but not in that manner. Usually when I finish a conversation with an older person, they might squeeze my hand or arm a few times, pat my back, or give my a poke in the stomach before leaving. I'm not comfortable with any of it, but I just power through because it's what they do with everyone. But in your case, that man is a creep.

nawtee_me · Accepted Answer

No he probably did not. In his time, that is to say when he was younger it was okay to do those things. It was not meant to be sexual or harassing in any way I would not think. It was probably his way of being friendly.
That doesn't mean that if it bothers you that you should not say anything about it. If it happens again just ask him to not rub on you or on your back. Or simply say I am sorry but I do not like being touched...

Jamie05rhs · Answer

What he did was inappropriate. Unfortunately, I can't tell you for sure whether that was acceptable in his generation or not. But maybe you can ask one of the deacons to speak to him.
I'm sorry you had that experience.
(And no, it wasn't your fault.)

Guy13 · Answer

It might not be the first incident. Make an appointment with the Pastor whether it is your church or not. The Pastor would definitely want to be made aware.

caring__1 · Answer

Tell your pastor. If this man is representing the church, the pastor hopefully wants to know. His behavior was inappropriate, and he needs to be told so by an authority in the church.

Staximus · Answer

You need to stand up for yourself and not tolerate that kind of behavior. Take a step back from him and say "don't touch me". If anybody doesn't like it, they can go to hell.

Zolly99999 · Answer

Creepy and gross  I would have told him immediately they it made you uncomfortable in a polite way. I've had older women do the same thing to me and it creeped me out

Anonymous · Answer

I would not say it reached sexually harassment levels but creepy and crossed boundaries for sure. The question is was he doing it on purpose or just an old man thats not all there.

LiamSawyer · Answer

He may of just been being fatherly.

Zeus_66 · Answer

Creepy. It wasn't Slow Joe Bidenflation, was it?

Wise4myage · Answer

He's a horny ole bastard, lol.

noohair · Answer

Do you go to church with Joe Biden?

Zygum · Answer

You encouraged him with positive response, you like men and sex

QuietRunner · Answer

it is harassment

I was at church today and a older man in his late 70s early 80s rubbed my back up and down while talking to me?

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I was at church today and a older man in his late 70s early 80s rubbed my back up and down while talking to me?

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