Guy says he's busy, is he a fuckboy?

[Anonymous]

I dated this guy for a few weeks but I saw him meeting other girls at bars.

I also noticed that each time i asked him what's going on, all he gives me is a vague reply that he is "busy". He never mentions what he does, where he goes etc. But he keeps asking me everything about my life and if I'm reluctant or inaudible, he will touch his ears and be like I can't hear you.

I know he's not busy because he is on his phone all day, online every 5 mins wnd he goes out every evening as well. He told me himself on one of our dates that he's been going out a lot and drinking a lot. Amd how he never gets any work done.

He also is online at odd hours of the night like 12.45 am, 3.45 am or on many days, he's offline the whole evening/night.

Even on our dates, he never seems interested in talking or knowing about me but I ve caught him looking at my chest, legs etc. He also won't text me on his own. NEVER.

Is he a fuckboy?

[PinkCloud7]

Yup.

Reading your comments below it sounds like he's wreaking havoc in his life, juggling things in the effort to feel in control. As long as you keep juggling you don't actually have to hold the weight of any one thing or decide what to do with it, just keep spinning. Spells DISASTER. You are not toy to be thrown around in his hectic life, you're not his mother, not his anything.

My read would be to move on and never look back. Block, unfollow, whatever, it'll be a huge relief.

[Asker]

he's drinking a lot and is a chain smoker too. Sometimes he smells so much of tobacco that its hard to stand beside him

[Anonymous]

Yup. Try to choose better guys; if they can't talk about their lives and what they do, they're probably worth it. Even if their job is menial, telling you shows they are open and honest. If the guy doesn't open up, neither should you.

This is what guys are meaning when we say women only give "Bad Boys" the light of day. Sounds like a fuckboy who doesn't have a job.

[Asker]

Ironically this is a phd student. Can you even believe that such guys are phd students who barely writes and spends all day thinking of sex and lusting after women

I dont know why this guy choses to know about me when he has no intention to open up? Nost likely because he's spending time with other women?

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like somebody that will likely fall out. You have to put a lot of effort into Med school to pass, or so I hear. On the flip side, it at least confirms that he doesn't really have a job, and is likely reliant on loans or parental support.

There's nothing wrong with dating students, but guys like this just give us a bad name. If they have no personality or interests other than fornicating, they're just dogs.

[Asker]

He also works at a bar part time but not full time but i think the bar work is also to get easy access to women

The guy is a midget in height (5 foot 4) but he acts ao entitled. And yeah i think he's from a very rich family hwncr doesn't need to think about job.

[Opinion Owner]

Pardon me. My original message was written wrong:

My point was that if a guy can't talk about himself or reveal what he does and who he is, he isn't to be trusted or pursued. If a guy tells you he has a menial job, but is open about who he is and what he does, he is more worth it because of his honesty.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah. I hear this a lot from women. Bar tenders are well known for being fuckboys according to what they've told me.

[Asker]

Yes each time i ask him, he's either i have been "busy" or "im writing" and then 2 hours later, he's going out to meet someone and doesn't return until late evening.

[Asker]

Are bar tenders really fuckboys?

[Opinion Owner]

This seems to be true among younger guys, though it depends on their character; it's usually the boastful extroverted men that do that sort of thing. Like you said, they have an almost constant stream of women they could interact with on a nightly basis... if they don't have self-restraint, I entirely imagine them taking advantage of this.

[Asker]

With this guy, when i first introduced myself to him, he looked me up and down and then went behind a desk to hide his lower half where he stood there for a few minutes.
He also asked me where i live in the 1st introductory chat as well.

he's turning 26 but i dont understand how he gets girls considering how fake he is because the moment he sees he's not going to get sex, he ghosts the girl.

[Opinion Owner]

He's using pickup tactics and confidence displays to trick women into sleeping with him, he's a pickup-artist. Thing is, karma will eventually bite him in the butt when two lovers meet or if he gets someone pregnant.

You can get girls in your mid to late 20s. In fact women seem to be attracted to older men due to their supposed greater wealth and accomplishments.

[Asker]

But he didn't get anything from me and he's most likely with another girl now so why keep me in his contacts?

[Opinion Owner]

Almost all numbers I've gotten from women I've never rang. Only 1 was from a date and I just forgot to delete it until recently... though in your case, since he's a known pickup guy, he might be keeping it to potentially call you for a booty-call. I don't know, but from what you've said about the guy I wouldn't be surprised.

[Asker]

But we never had sex and he knows he can't get any booty call from me?

[Opinion Owner]

like I said. Once a number is logged, sometimes people just don't delete them. Happens to most guys tbh, I still have numbers for people I met in passing, or friends from years back.

You only need to worry if he uses it. If you're really annoyed by the guy you can just block the number to be sure.

[Asker]

But he doesn't care about me so why keep it? He has friends, hook ups, fwbs etc which i understand but me? Im nothing

[Opinion Owner]

maybe he doesn't care enough to delete it? It takes effort and intent to delete something, if he really doesn't care it will just be left there.

[Asker]

But he always looks bitter and angry and he's passuce aggressive with me so he does care?

[Opinion Owner]

That sounds like an awful relationship dynamic for a start. Secondly, he's probably passive aggressive and bitter because you won't give him what he wants; this behaviour proves he doesn't deserve it.

[Asker]

Yes thats why im asking when he knows he won't get it and is upset then why keep it?

[Opinion Owner]

there's three options:
1. He wants to have sex with you, and is bitter you won't let him.
2. He's not having any success, so he contacts you as a 2nd option.
3. He isn't using it, and just forgot it's on his phone.

[Asker]

No he's using his number and i haven't seen him in 1 month so im certain he has options he's holidaying with thats why im thinking when he found someone why keep it?

[Opinion Owner]

so maybe option 3

[Asker]

No i told u he's using his number

[Opinion Owner]

No I mean he isn't using your number, aka texting or calling you

[Asker]

He never did yet set up date or replied in flirty ways when i texted. I dont text him or ask him out and after that he gets pissed

[Anonymous]

But why are you chasing him if doesn't text you n don't show interest in knowing you?

Don't you have self-respect?

[Asker]

I already wrote i dont text him. He is the one all bitter yet keeping my chats and number saved on whatsapp

[Wise4myage]

That seems like a logical conclusion.