Why is every guy friend I have always hot and cold with me?

[Anonymous]

Literally we will be happily discussing a topic and then they become almost dismissive and respond with short unenthusiastic answers or ignore my message for hours.
it's really annoying. i feel like i'm the only one investing or actually happy to talk to them about things.
not every guy has done this, but the majority in my life have. what the hell is with these dudes

Updates

1 y

Why be my friend if they ain't all that into talking to me... what's the point. i honestly don't get it.
They could easily just say hey.. i'm busy. when i call them out on it they almost try gaslight me.

[spartan55]

Try not talking to them by text... I can't believe I still have to say this but most guys DO NOT like texting. Girls cannot or will not understand this for some reason. It has nothing to do with hot and cold, or how invested they are. You can't expect everyone to value things the same you do.

[Asker]

one of them used to be hot and cold with me in person, so it's not just over text. it wasn't just some trivial sht we were talking about either, literally trying to plan a trip out with them that they told me they're down for. i was enthusiastic, they were for a very short time and now i'm nothing but background noise.
you have a point tho and i'm just going to take back my effort and see if things go better in person. thanks x

[MangoBob]

If you are just their friend you take back seat to any girl they are romantically involved with, thats just life. If you were hot and heavy with him would you want him texting his female friends all the time?

[Asker]

me and one of them had sex years ago.. he's into me but hot and cold.. would of thought if a guy is attracted he'd make a bit more effort to show he desires her. guess not. =/

none of them have gfs.

[Asker]

I THINK he's into me**
Desires me**

my bad lol

[Avicenna]

We don't know them, you do. What's your gut feeling why? Are these emotional topics?

[Asker]

well.. my gut tells me they do it for some kind of power trip and others do it because they don't care about me all that much. but that would be assumptions.
i figured what better way than to understand guys than to ask guys on here.

[Asker]

not emotional topics no.. it was a topic about going away on a holiday, watching movies and playing computer games.

[Asker]

holiday together/group***

[Avicenna]

Well it sounds like these guys aren't really friends, so you may want to rethink your friendship with them.

[Asker]

i just wanted friends to have fun with, do random shit with and instead i get guys with some kind of personality impairment where they can only give so much of themselves before they start to act like i'm an afterthought or they're bored of me. that's how it feels sometimes. honestly i'm fking done trying to hard. fk them.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Because most of them just want to have sex with you.

[Asker]

me and one of them had sex years ago.. and he's hot and cold with me, hardly puts in effort. would of thought if a guy is attracted he'd make more effort to show me he desires/wants me.

how would i know if he's not attracted but wants sex vs attracted and wanting sex?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I don't know how to answer that. Your friends seem like idiots.

[Asker]

yea, the quality of many guys these days is just fking horrific... they like to think they're men but their boys and treat people less than them no matter how subtle.
i guess i will... put it to the conclusion he's not actually attracted to me.. but he's not grossed out by me enough to not have sex. =/ awesome.

[Anonymous]

Because you are hot and cold with them.

[Asker]

that's funny xD truly.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't worry at some point they'll tire of your game and just stop altogether. Then you can torment someone else. 🙂

[Asker]

bahahahahaha XD good one. you're a hoot

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks. 🙂

[Asker]

haha you're welcome. wasn't laughing with you but at you, appreciate you my dude :P thanks for showing me and everyone else sad people still exist it's glorious xD

[Opinion Owner]

Doesn't matter either way with, against. You're just a sex puppet and you amuse me. But I enjoyed your attempt to try to appear otherwise.

[Asker]

the most funny part is, rather than getting on with your life you're on a website harassing people. say what you want about me and others but that's pretty damn fking sad :P I'm glad my existence amuses you. yours very much amuses me xD

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, so sad and insignificant you're hanging on every letter I type. Exposed! 🤣🤣🤣

[Asker]

fair enough :D

[Opinion Owner]

🤣🤣🤣

[KrakenAttackin]

"Guy friend".