Is it wrong to want your guy to protect and look after you?

[StormMistress]

Is it wrong to have this mindset in modern times? I’m a very naive, meek person and having a guy that I know will protect me and take care of me warms my heart and soul. I of course want to care and please him as well because he’s my hubby and I want him to be happy.

Is it sad I want a fella to protect me from the evils of this world? To keep me safe? I want to be able to think I can take care of myself if the situation calls for it but I’m honestly terrified of this big bad world and have trouble standing up for myself. Getting caught up in a violent situation for example has me freeze up and wishing to flee as fast as possible.

[MrOracle]

My girlfriends have always expressed similar desires to be protected. I've even had other women come up to us because they saw me opening her door or how we walk on the street or whatever and told us that she wished she had a guy who did that.

I have a number of practices that I insist on that a girl may have to adjust a bit and get used to - for example, on the street, I always walk on the outside and half-a-step back from her, so that I can better see threats coming and defend her from all sides. If we have to park anyplace that doesn't seem to be 100% safe, she stays in the car until I come around and get her out, and when we're leaving, I put her in the car first and then walk around and get in. In a restaurant or other public place, I always sit facing the entrances, and in a booth, I always sit on the outside with her next to me on the inside. I'm going to keep myself between her and any outside danger. These things are just automatic to me and have been for 30+ years.

This is the traditional male role, and I take it very seriously. As others have mentioned, the kind of guys who are like me, and take those responsibilities seriously and work to become competent, are also going to expect their woman to be traditional as well - though it doesn't sound like that's much of a problem for you. He's going to want to lead and make the decisions, since he also has most of the responsibility and risk. This doesn't mean he won't (or shouldn't) discuss things with you first, and take your needs and desires into consideration - he absolutely should, and most traditional men do - but he's ultimately going to make the decision, and you won't always get what you want. What you may or may not realize is that he's often protecting you from yourself.

I'm definitely not the biggest, strongest, or fittest guy around, but I take protection seriously, and not only do I have training, I've also spent lots of time running mental drills so that I'm mentally prepared for various situations, and I know what to do and I've made the moral decisions in advance. This helps prevent the indecision and "freezing" you said you feel when danger happens upon you - when I encounter danger, I've trained myself to ACT. And I've trained myself to maintain situational awareness, so that I'm not caught unawares. Most people walk around with ZERO situational awareness, and freeze at danger, and this makes them "good victims." I have no intention of being a victim, or allowing my girl to be one.

The very BEST solution to danger is to avoid it as much as you reasonably can - a fight or robbery or assault AVOIDED is far better than a fight won, because even the winner could be seriously injured or exposed to legal problems - and wins are far from guaranteed in the first place. I've had to be late or entirely call off things a couple of times because I didn't feel like it was safe, and more than once, there were incidents that we avoided that we might have otherwise been right in the middle of.

Danger can't always be avoided, though, so you also need to be ready to face it. A serious guy will drill you a bit and tell you what YOU should do so that he can best protect you.

[Lliam]

It's not wrong. It's normal.

Women are comparatively smaller and weaker than men. They are more vulnerable to attack than are men.

It warms my heart that my woman feels happy, safe and secure when I'm with her; when she slips her little hand trustingly into mine or leans her head against my shoulder when we walk with our arms around each other; snuggles contentedly against me; or looks up into my eyes as if I'm her hero. It's one of the best feeling in the world.

I love her admiration for my ability to lift her up, open jars, reach things are are high up, carry heavy objects, build and repair things, and being her big, strong man.

She can count on me to protect her from harm.

I really like the lady-gentleman, masculine-feminine thing.

[MzAsh]

It’s not wrong but like others have said, it’s not realistic based on what you’ve said. In your case, It sounds as if you’re extremely sheltered and naive to the ways of the world. This is going to hurt you even if you do get a provider man. You can’t expect a man to basically be like your parent and it sounds like that’s what your after. No grown woman can sustain this life living like a child.

[shaysh87]

Its normal for a woman to want to feel protected by a man. In fact, almost all women want this.

But if you're looking for a man to protect you emotionally, you can forget about that. If this were true that all men liked to look after women emotionally, we wouldn't have so many divorces, cheating

[PeteBy]

Got to say with all due respect, don't agree with some of the guys on here.

I like a woman to be independent and follow her dreams. It's also possible to still protect and look after her. Just the lines have been redrawn so it's also perfectly acceptable for a woman to look after and protect her man.

That doesn't have to be with aggression, but merely standing by him. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to be protected/looked after as long as it's a mutually understood thing that he expects similar from her.

[TonyMetal___86]

It's not naïve at all, what you're asking for is something natural cause you're a girl...

I believe that every man should be able to protect and take good care of his wife and family and no matter what year it is, such things will never or must never change!

One of the reasons that i like to marry a girl who adores becoming a housewife is because i want her to be safe and warm in my house far away from the outside violent cruel world!

[StormMistress]

I just feel I’m letting other girls down and am not a good role model because of this. That I should be stronger and fight for myself. That’s what modern society teaches at least.

[TonyMetal___86]

I don't care if you're a good role model to other girls or not, also you must be a role model only for you're future kids!

What matters is that i see in you a sweet loving kind hearted lady who is truly a woman and also strong enough to say what's in her mind and heart!

Do not care about how others see you, just care about what makes you happy and be happy to be honest to yourself and willing to say how you feel even if it contradicts our present norms!

Just be yourself and be proud of it!

[StormMistress]

Awe you are such a sweetheart Thankyou so much I appreciate your kind words ❤️

[TonyMetal___86]

You're always welcome miss storm, you deserve ever kind word said to you 😌

[yucychan]

I don't think it's wrong if you want that. To each his/her own.

For me, I'm the one that is usually doing the protecting and looking after. It's not about the physical differences as my boyfriend is 6'1 and I'm only 5'3. He's more kind and mellow in nature, like a big friendly giant while I'm the bad-tempered honey badger.

[cth96190]

It is the role of the man to provide and protect.
The male is designed for battle, both physically and psychologically. The female is not.
Were I to have a female in my life, I would not hesitate to use lethal force in defence of her.
Yes, it has happened.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

No it’s not entirely wrong, it’s partly biological to have such desires, just make sure the relationship is balanced where qualities of each other balance and compliment the other partner

[BlueScorpio]

I think it's a normal, subconscious thing most women want when choosing a mate. Most women do want a man that can protect her and her and their potential offspring. It's a survival need/ instinct.

[Vegasrunner]

I dont believe it's wrong but it is unrealistic. You're asking for men to guarantee traditional roles to modern day women. I man has so much to risk "protecting" a woman I'm not sure if that's a smart role in todays climate. This coming from a man that was stabbed defending a girlfriend from an ex boyfriend during a home invasion 20 years ago. I dont mind taking the scars for her because she was traditional but I couldn't imagine doing that for a woman today.

[Pinay_ako]

I like the thought of a man protecting me. I just feel safe knowing there’s a man looking out for me and same here to him. I’ll jump in to save him too.

[Stevefiveo]

Totally understandable. I definitely protect my wife when she needs it. If she is in an argument with another woman, I know she can usually handle it without me. But if another guy starts with her, I always step in-between them and defend her.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

It as an outdated romanticized concept that doesn't really work in todays society. I mean "protect" her against what? Against wild animals and criminals? If you live in such a place you're to blame. Also many women prefer to fight their fights themselves

[Crafteroon]

It's expected in a relationship to give companionship and support to your partner. Based on the dynamic I think it's expected that the more daring and physically intimidating one offers protection, and is the one to check noises in the dark.

[LexiXide]

No it's not wrong men are supposed to take care of their wives or girlfriends to help them feel safe

[ElementoP]

They should do that instinctively.

But good luck getting most of the bitch ass sissy boys these days to protect you.
Even the slightest sign of danger and they'll push you in harm's way and run in the other direction

[RedStiletto88]

I’m the same way , I love feeling safe and protected. I mean I will fight as hard as I can if needed but I love the feeling of being loved and safety.

[Sixgunsound]

That’s one of the roles we evolved to play in women’s lives. Nothing wrong with recognizing that.

[RealMarek]

This desire is actually biologically rooted. Not even a century of feminism can eliminate it. No, you’re not wrong. The problem is that today we have intentionally weakened men.

[FilmGuy93]

It's not wrong; you just can't play both sides of that coin. If you want a guy to protect you, then you can't also run around being confrontational and telling men that you are so independent.

[anon1903]

No offense, honey but yes. You shouldn't be trusting anyone at all. Rule number one of existing in the modern day world. People change, feelings fade.

[anon1903]

You need to stand up for yourself

[RavVid]

I don't think that is wrong. Most girls want to feel safe with you. At least that's what they have said to me.

[Chazmatazz269]

It’s not wrong. As long as you’re having that conversation so he knows what you expect and offer, and vice versa.

[ElementoP]

Is a conversation necessary though? If someone tried to hurt my girl I'd cut their head off and fuck their larynx. She doesn't have to ask

[Chazmatazz269]

Ell oh ell! Yes, that conversation is absolutely necessary. Not every man is willing to sacrifice his life and livelihood for a woman. Few are capable of such things, and a minority of those will do so for nothing in return. People like that are called “simps” these days. You’re welcome to that kind of relationship if it floats your boat, but i don’t have to put up with that one-sided bullshit just because you don’t know your worth.