Why did he ghost me after asking me for my number?

[Anonymous]

This guy came to a small gathering I had as a friend’s plus one and we hit it off right away and hung out the entire night. He was very flirtatious and spent close to the end of the party together and had a little “cuddle.” Towards the end of the night, we exchanged instagrams and he asked me for my phone number and asked me when I was leaving for university because he wanted to see each other again before I left. I walked him to his car and he asked for a kiss but I said no and that maybe next time we hang out. It was all great and I told him to send me a message when him and his friend got home. We had a very brief (like 2 texts ish) conversation over text until I responded 6 hours later. That’s where he then left me on read. I don’t know if I said anything wrong or what the reason is, but he hasn’t messaged me and it’s been 2 days. Is there something I did that was wrong? Is there anything I could do to get his attention?

[PrettyPriya]

It certainly doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. What time was this text you sent last read? Just curious as that might have something to do with it. The other thing worth mentioning is that guys (in general) are not into texting nearly as much as girls.

I always make mention of my fiancé and how texting with him is sometimes like pulling teeth. He will leave me on read all the time. It is frustrating, but that is just the way he is.

I still don't see what you could have done wrong. That points to something else. Perhaps he read it and was busy and then forgot completely. There is nothing wrong with reaching out again.

Maybe text him something about wanting to meet up again. Something like: "Hey, I really had fun hanging out the other night. Any chance you still want to meet up before you head off to university?"

You get the idea. If nothing comes back, then I would say it is not worth trying anymore. You just never know though if something came up and he forgot.

[Asker]

Thank you for your response! To answer your question, i dmed him a little after he left and asked if both him and his friend was home, and he replied later that morning (he left at 5am). I replied to him a few hours later to which he responded within a couple minutes and then the last text I sent was 6 hours later.

[Asker]

got home *

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome. So, he read it sometime in the afternoon then, right? If that is the case, I'm headed down a dead end possibly. I was thinking if he read it late at night or something and then went to sleep and forgot.

That doesn't make sense in this case. I mean, maybe he got busy with something and forgot, but you would think he would remember at some point in the next couple of days.

I think you still should send the text. If you don't get a response, then I would just give up on this guy. Maybe he had second thoughts for whatever reason. Sounds like the part went kinda late. Who knows what his mindset was the next day.

Doesn't excuse the fact that there are much more mature ways of handling that rather than ghosting.

[Asker]

I sent that last text on Sunday at around 6:30 pm but I don’t know when he read it. Regardless, he didn’t respond so that’s why I’m confused. So I don’t know if what I said was wrong or if it was me sending it late. No clue.
Plus towards the end of the night everyone sobered up, or at least I‘m assuming because everyone was relaxed and seemed all sober so none of the things like asking for my number or a kiss or to hang out again was a drunken thing.
But I feel the same, maybe his mindset changed?

[PrettyPriya]

That is kinda what I am wondering. 5am is really late/early or whatever. If alcohol was involved, he may have changed his mind after that wore off. No matter the case, still much more mature ways of handling that.

[Asker]

Totally agree! There’s a lot better ways to go about it but you’re right! Maybe he’s changed his mind. Im just a little nervous to message him ONLY cause we’re all kind of a friend group now and I don’t want anyone to hear that I messaged him again, and it turned out sideways. If that makes sense. Nonetheless, I will send a message. I think it’s be nice to hang out again

[PrettyPriya]

I think if you make the message simple. Perhaps suggest hanging out for lunch or whatever. Something non date-like and see what he says. If he accepts, then you can get a much better idea of where his head is at when you meet in person.

If he doesn't respond, that is on him and just move on. Best of luck to you and I hope it turns out positive. If you have the chance, come back and update all of us!

[Asker]

That sounds good! And I definitely will. Thank you for your help!

[PrettyPriya]

Most welcome!

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you kindly for the MHO 🙂

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's just busy, or he didn't like that you didn't want to kiss him (which is perfectly fine by the way and your right to say no).

Either text him "I would love to see you again on [date] at [location]", thus taking initiative, or you'll let it go and move on to the next person.

[Asker]

Thanks for your response! I lied and said the reason I didn’t want to kiss him was because I just met him and I mean, even though I did, I still liked him enough to want to kiss him but I told him if we hung out again, then I would, which I would cause he’s cute but I leave in 3 days and the number he has of mine will be deactivated (we’re talking over instagram right now) but I love your text, so I should kind of shoot my shot?

[ArchivalMars2]

There are two things I can see for this, A is that he's busy with something more important or B could be another girl that's given him a better offer or C just doesn't take you very seriously anymore. Besides two days isn't really that long.

[FilmGuy93]

Sounds like a weirdo with some personal bullshit that you are better off not being a part of.

[Avicenna]

Two days isn’t that long

[In_Trance]

probably got a better offer