What does it really mean when a guy still wants to be friends with his ex?

[Bre_0611]

Just asking this because I never heard a man talk about this and would like to get you all's perspectives.

My now ex had this favorite ex girlfriend of his that just always somehow remained in the picture. I say favorite because every argument we've had, she knew about it, every personal thing we talked about, he told her about it, she knew my past, and probably every other personal detail about me because of him and it was only her. She was in the middle of everything.

Of course he would gaslight me constantly and try to write her off as "just a friend". She as well would reach out to me and try to make it seem as though she's so nice and so supportive of me and wanted to be my friend as well but I always called bs because women of course are very catty and petty especially exes.

She too would claim that they were only friends but again I wasn't going for it because there's just no reason for anyone, man or woman, needing to be friends with their exes while in a relationship with someone new.

What do you guys think?

[Tenebrae_mentis]

I think if you can't trust the person you're with, you shouldn't be with them. That said, sometimes really good friends try dating, find out they don't work as a couple, and break up. But if it didn't end on bad terms, they don't stop being friends. It happens. And it's kind of unreasonable to abandon a good friend just because you start dating someone.

I don't personally agree with the "no reason to be friends with an ex" mentality. I still talk to one of my exes fairly regularly. We didn't work together and I'd never try dating her again, but she's a good person and sometimes we vent to each other about our problems. Or just talk to catch up or whatever. It's completely platonic. I wouldn't start ignoring her just because I got into a relationship.

But yeah, there are also plenty of people who stay "friends" with an ex because they want to try and keep a foot in the door, hoping they can get back with them. Doesn't usually work, though. If they broke up, there was probably a reason for it and one of them will surely remember what that reason was.

But yeah, if you trust your guy, then stop letting your paranoia get in the way of your relationship. If you don't trust your guy, end the relationship. A healthy relationship can't exist without trust.

[Bre_0611]

You don't gossip to your ex about your current relationship... under any circumstances and you condoning this lets me know what kind of guy you are.

[Tenebrae_mentis]

Yes, if I'm having a hard time in my relationship, I sometimes vent to my friends and ask for advice. Your refusal to even consider the possibility that you may be wrong lets me know the type of girl you are. And I feel very sorry for the guy you're trying to isolate.

[Bre_0611]

And I feel sorry for any girl that falls victim to your cheating ass.
This is how I know your brain cells are fucked because if you read correctly I said he's NOW AN EX meaning I dumped him, bigot.
You can feel bad for him all you want he's done unspeakable things to me in that relationship that you don't know shit about and while you're here feeling bad for him he's stalking my social media and begging for me back while getting his ass whooped by karma.
Good day

[kylee2437]

Men be friend their exes as a way to place them on a back burner just in case their current relationship doesn’t work out. Both of my exes tried to do this to me and I X’d them out of my life because I already knew their agenda. His ex is just dumb and buying into it