I am 19. I am in university. And quite a nerd. There was this guy who I thought was interested in me, and he seemingly understood me well. We share the same ambition too. We spent time together studying calculus and physics alone while most people here spent time partying or drinking or having fun. I am one of those people who would rather spend free time deriving physics formula, and he helped me a lot. He even told me that he doesn't go to parties and those kind of stuffs. We share a lot of stuff of liking - music, interests, views, etc.. surprisingly tho, he opened up to me unlike any other - I know a lot about him much more than his friends. And every night we spend time together studying.
One day he suddenly kissed me passionately and fiercely. He told me that he has feeling for me, which I told him "me too" since I also like him. He told me that it was like "love at first sight". For 2 nights we spent time intimately (no sex), then the next day onward he has been ignoring me, only after a week when I messaged him what's up, he told me that it was "nothing more than just a kiss", "I am not ready for a serious relationship", "we could be friends but nothing more", "I thought there was something between us". He has never seen guilty of what he had done. Worse, we actually live next door in the dormitory. You can feel how anxious I am whenever I look at him. I try to stop thinking about him but I can't. He acts as if nothing happen, and just be joyful with his friends. Turns out that he actually goes to parties on a regular basis and probably see some girls, according to some friends who have been here longer. I didn't tell anyone about us, until he gave me that message.
I breakdown.
I feel taken granted for.
And I feel lonely again. Since nobody can understand who I am and what I love and, couldn't fit in with them here. But I also don't want to change for other people. This feeling of loneliness sucks. so far only he understands me the most but he used me.
