What does it mean when he said this to me?

[Anonymous]

I want to know if I am overreacting. I am 18f, and there’s a man I am acquainted with, I’ve known him for a few years now. I’m not sure of his age but he is quite older than me. He hits on me a lot, I don’t reciprocate because I am not interested mainly due to the age gap and he sometimes goes too far with it lol. But I am friendly with him. Anyway, the other day out of the blue he said to me “I won’t hurt you” it was off topic what I was talking about with him. It’s about the third time he’s said it to me, and I don’t know what it means but everytime I’ve heard him say it it sets off alarm bells and my gut feeling tells me to run, but I feel like it’s an overreaction because he has given me no reason to think that he would. I am just curious to see how others would interpret this, i can’t help but overthink it because it’s a strange thing to say.

Updates

1 y

I forgot to add why it sets off alarm bells, there is good reason … the way he flirts he really makes me uncomfortable sometimes i forgot to add this, i probably sound crazy lol

[Anonymous]

Everyone here is a fucking moron.

Oh my goodness... a man is interested in a woman, he must be a sex offender because she doesn't feel the same way. Whats wrong with you people?

I tell you what why dont we all base 100% of our opinions on one line which this guy has said in isolation and communicated to you by someone who didn't understand it. Thats probably fine, no chance of getting the wrong end of any sticks there not that that is even a consideration, this trial was over before it started, the long and the short of it is that he is a man so he is clearly criminal.

You have created this situation by allowing it to continue.

You aren't interested in this guy and you should have made that clear right out of the gate.

Of course he keeps saying things because you never shut him down.

You or somebody needs to tell this guy that you are not into him, you dont like the comments, that it makes you uncomfortable etc.

After that if it continues then you should cut him from your life and report him to the police.

But you dont get to complain about it if you have never shut it down. You keep including this guy in your life, you are validating his behaviour.

[SteveSmith1985]

No you don't sound crazy. Listen to those alarm bells!! They are not ringing for no reason. The worst thing you can do is to second guess those alarm bells. I am as serious as a fucking heart-attack about this: DO NOT IGNORE THOSE INSTINCTS

[sage2021]

When someone gives you the creeps your body will let you know. You may get a sick stomach, headache, nervous, your fight it flight reflexes start up, making you want to flee from him. You must lusten to what your body is saying to you.
When a man says He won't hurt you, aiming to knock down your defences. That is a big red flag for someone that is dangerous. Want some candy little girl?
With all of the murders of young people these days, you need to stay away from
Once I dated a guy who held me, and told me he would never hurt me. Stupid me I believed him and let my defenses down.
One day he was mad about something that had nothing to do with me. But he ended up taking it out on my physically. He slammed me into the wall with my head and neck a bunch of times and got rid of my phone. He was taken away by the police.
It's better to be safe than sorry. 🌹

[Labokachulaa]

You don't sound crazy, trust your instincts. There's a reason why your body is reacting this way when he's trying to make a move. Don't try to figure out what this reason is, just trust your body and run away from him..

What he means by that is, you're probably not reacting to his flirting the way he wants you to react, so, in turn he assumes that you're afraid of him. Kind of like you're afraid to date him, that's how he's taking it.

[SnowedIn]

There's only one way to interpret this: he makes you uncomfortable. That, on it's own, is legitimate. Honor that. Stop seeing him or putting yourself in places and positions where you can interact with him.

[Marica70]

How old are? If you just turned 18 and he’s been doing this for a while report him asap he can still be charged… stay the hell away from. Talk to someone you can confide in. If you have a good family support system I would suggest toy start their. Do not keep this to yourself. Please.

[CrazyGirl2]

Yes, RUN! This guy seems like a creep, I mean he’s MUCH older, and out of the blue he just says “I won’t hurt you” this guy’s gonna wearing your skin as a lady-suit! Seriously RUN!

[Helllo123]

If he’s making you uncomfortable I would cut him off and just disappear unless he’s someone you work with you could report him to HR.

[Blackmoonsns]

He's a stalker. I would be very wary of this man it sounds like he's been building up an appetite for you for over a long period of time I would not keep him in my company he could be quite dangerous.

[Guy13]

The age gap is a reasonable concern. All guys…people in love say they are not going to hurt you etc.

[AnUglyBarnacle]

Why are you associating with this person? He's clearly making you uncomfortable. Cut him out of your life and move on.

[Summeroflove]

Have boundaries tell him when he’s making you uncomfortable

[Illaskalotof]

He makes u uncomfortable. Cut connections with him and continue your life

[Anonymous]

"I won't hurt you" normally means emotionally he intends to not abuse you. It's meant to be disarming. It seems you have taken it badly though.

[Twalli]

I think he thinks the reason you're not reciprocating is that you are worried that being with him will be hurtful to you. He's telling you that he has no intention of hurting you.

[Iron_Man]

Because you’re probably acting standoffish and afraid that’s why he said it so you’ll have faith in him and trust him

[In_Trance]

It means you didn't ask for clarification