Does this man have bad intentions?

[Anonymous]

A neighbor of mine that I have known for 6 years who has always tried to be helpful and talk to me since I moved into the complex. However for the past 6 years I always avoided or ignored him as I have been hurt in relationships with other men in the past so I avoided most men as I was afraid of relationships because they always ended up with heartbreak. However a month ago I started talking to him and really liked him for his values, that we shared the same faith, we both had a lot of things in common it turned out. Only thing I was hesitant about was the age gap I am 28 and he is 43. We started hanging out as friends and after 3 hangouts started dating as we really connected. Since we were neighbors we saw each other every day and ended up deciding to become a couple after 1 week. He was always a gentleman, we read the bible together everyday, he and I both wanted to wait until marriage to have sex as that was out values, he paid for every meal, he always put my needs before his own. Until two days ago he told me that a job he applied too 3 months ago well that he heard back and got the job. It was his dream job however it was in Virginia and that he has to move in 3 months. He wanted me to move there with him and I was in shock as its not what I want for my life as all of my friends and my career are in California. I told him how I felt about moving and he was very understanding and apologized for being selfish and wants to be long distance. However I don’t want that. Does this guy have bad intentions? My friends are concerned why a guy of his age would start dating a younger girl and moving the relationship fast if he knew that he might get a job that is on the other side of the country.

[humanearth]

He might not have bad intentions, but more like bad timing

If you apply for a job that's far away and then starts dating. That's foolish that's just going to cause a mess. As you're finding out right now

As for long distance relationship, 99% of them don't work out.

One) each of you are out of sight of each other and can't give each other the attention you both need

Two) You both are working your dream jobs, one of you would have to make the move to the other soon and one of you is going to have resentment for it

Three) If one don't move to the other after a few months, one of you is going to get sick of the bullshit that comes with LDR. (See number one)

You're better off breaking it off and find someone that will stay in your area.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not bad intentions , I learned the hard way the consequences of a relationship not being in sync. I am still in that relationship which hasn't been easy, in fact its brought more questions than answers. You answered your own question regarding your family and career being in California. If you can't see yourself in Virginia its simply not worth continuing. Never EVER should someone be in a circumstance like that (which I have been in) because it causes resentment to your partner. You'll be sitting in Virginia resenting him and if he stays only because of you he will be in California resenting you. No one is worth that aggravation.

[spartan55]

What are you talking about 'bad intentions'? Sounds like he has been very upfront with everything. To not get involved with you because he APPLIED for a job across the country is absurd. He likely didn't think he would have a chance at landing that job. Your friends are wrong here.

[Orion76]

I’m not gonna comment on the man’s intentions deep inside you know too. Now friends I bet your guy probably hardly have any. In your 30s your friends are gonna start disappearing some due to the same situation you are in , some because their spouse don’t like you or you don’t like them but most just fade away.