Can someone maybe give a good insight on why he is behaving like that?

[Anonymous]

Tonight is my aunts bday-dinner and I will see my cousin/bro, we grew up together and used to be really close... I wanna be prepared to confront him again.

So he is in a serious relationship since 2 years., she is nice but he is ignoring me when she is around (she is basically glued to him) or like all my texts. I gave up reaching out to him at this point.

If I see him spontaneously without her, he is acting normal but if she is with him he doesn't even say hi.
I did confront him about that and he just laughed and said nothing.
Even my aunt and mom had asked him about his behavior towards me and he was silent again.

I know that his girlfriend is super jealous but she said she has no reason with me cause I'm family... so I don't get that. Like what the fuck?
Also I always include her too when I'm asking to hangout or inviting to my bday etc. (And then get no answers.)

I wanna make clear tho I understand that his relationship comes first to him. I totally respect that!
But he could at least stop being so shitty to me for no reason... he is still normal with everyone else...

Updates

1 y

Soo at dinner I must confess I did act a little petty towards him out of hurt but still, yeah I did lol Anyw. I'm still clueless, somehow my mom catched him first, she said later that she just reminded him of who was more a sister to him and not to worry. And when I tried talking to him, he just said that we won't have a talk and this is a bday and after that he acted normal for the night. But I will not text him in the future, it's on him now tho

[CrazyGirl2]

I have to wonder if there is more here than JUST the girlfriend. How is he with you when she is not around? You mentioned that she is very jealous so it is unlikely that he would be at any events without her, so he may not have been at family gatherings without her, so how do you know it is an issue with her? Maybe the issue is with your cousin himself? It is difficult to comprehend why a girlfriend would EVER be jealous of a family member, that is just ridiculous. (Unless you two played around with normal childhood sexual experimentation when you were much younger) it is quite common, and guys have a habit of telling long-time girlfriends and wives. (They also have a tendency to ask us questions about whether it happened to us). If so, then there is your answer. She sees you as someone who has seen/touched, or been touched by her boyfriend, now I know that if my boyfriend had ever done normal childhood experimentation, I would not be bothered, but some women really are? If I am completely off the mark here let me know, but if there was not “playing with eachother as children” then I don’t know what to tell you, other than you need to talk to your cousin. Only he can answer this question with any degree of accuracy. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, I know it would break my heart if my cousins girlfriend in England prevented he and I from having any meaningful relationship! So you have my deepest sympathies. But definitely speak with him. Again, only he can truly answer you. All we can do is guess. Good luck, and I hope you can resolve this awfully sad situation.
With love and friendship, Laura 🥰

[Asker]

Well I don't say she is the problem, it's definitely him. But I have recognized that he is this odd generally over text, like he never answers my texts or calls and in person with her around... without her he is normal. He talks to me, hugs me to greet and say bye, he even once apologized for not answering and he was busy but that's it.
And no, no playing around as kids... kinda seems odd and disgusting to do so in my eyes... he is like a little brother to me

[CrazyGirl2]

Well as a Psych major, working towards my PhD in Psychology, and currently in my Human sexuality class, and having completed behavioral and abnormal Psych, regardless of how disgusting we as adults may think it, Childhood sexual experimentation with friends, neighbors, cousins, and even siblings is, (believe it or not), actually quite common and perfectly normal. Doing it much past the age of 10, however is quite unusual. And once one gets into their teens, it is considered abuse.

[HappyWoman34]

She’s jealous and he’s scared of her wrath and of losing her. That or maybe the sex.

[EmbraceThePain]

Did you have any previous falling out with his girlfriend? Why do you think she's like this towards you outside of jealousy if there are other possible reasons?

Either way, it's inappropriate for him to ignore you and treat you disrespectfully whenever she's around

To me, it just doesn't make sense to be this way unless there are other stuff you are leaving out.

[Asker]

No we never had any bad blood but her and I also never became close friends either. Until now she is really nice to me, we don't text tho but she is always the one having a conversation with me or like last summer we both even worked together on two nights at a beer garten and everything seemed great... I don't know I also talked to her and she was the one admitting about her jealousy and that he had to delete his instagram, etc, but like said above, she said with me it's okay cause I'm just family

[EmbraceThePain]

Yeah, it is odd.

My advice? Continue being respectful and talking to them to figure out what's up

[Asker]

It's, I would just really like to understand him but yeah... I will stay respectful, let's see what happens tonight. Thank you!🙏🏼

[Wish4UrB00ty]

I wonder did he have any feelings for you that he hasn’t told you about. Or was there perhaps a chance that he could have been doing things or trying to do things that you never noticed or knew about? There could simply be a weird fascination on his part for you that his girlfriend knows of or perhaps has even imagined.

[Asker]

Hell no, I don't think so. He is family.

[JDavid25]

That's a bit weird.. He's family, and yet he is acting like you are a girl he was attracted to.. I mean I get some people can be really possessive, but that whole thing is weird.. It's most likely she doesn't like him talking to any woman around his age.. Even family member.. Or maybe she gets weird..

[Asker]

It is!! Like it's crazy, why should he want anything from me I'm family, we grew up and like even if I'm not even his type 😂 Well he is still talking to his stepsister that he just got to know 7 years prior tho so I don't know... maybe he just hates me and doesn't have the guts to tell me he don't want much contact anymore... who knows

[Guy13]

You know what the deal is. Leave it alone and wait for the relationship to pass. I would not confront him.

[Msputiton]

Idk🤔weird

[Msputiton]

*Big hugs*

[Asker]

Thanks🥺🙏🏼