Why would a guy just not be honest…?

[Anonymous]

I was talking to a guy last year in January and we talked on and off. We stopped talking in October. He was looking for a friends with benefits and said he wasn’t looking for a relationship. He said he couldn’t give me what I wanted and that work was his top priority.

I didn’t want friends with benefits but we kept talking and tbh I was vulnerable and going through things. He really didn’t want to sleep with me

He always said reassuring things to me.. part of me felt like it was rejection but I also really believed when I always asked if there was something/someone else. He would always say “it’s not you , I’m not looking for a relationship with anyone”

he would also say “I want the best for you” “I hope you’re happy”

After we stopped talking I was really hurt bc I really liked him. I honestly thought he cared…

Fast forward… he pops up on my people you may know on instagram and I see a girls profile and I see pics of them together… he entered into a new relationship (4 months)

im heartbroken bc I really believed him and I thought he would come back

[DermalPunch]

Guys do this all the time. He just wasn't into you and thought he was being nice.

If a guy seems "shy" but you sense his subtraction and he doesn't really go after you he's not into you.

[Asker]

I get what you’re saying and you’re right. I just felt like this was so complicated and he could have been honest instead of making me think he actually cares.

[DermalPunch]

Never believe a man's words. Look at his actions.

[Asker]

I don’t know why I feel heartbroken by it bc I really liked him and I was hoping he would come back

Even if his intention wasn’t to hurt me it hurts so much more now

[DermalPunch]

Because you really liked him. It will pass. Don't dwell on it. Guys tell on themselves with theor actions from the get go. It's up to you to have the self-cintrol not to progress when you see them because you think he's cute and you like how he looks st you.

[Asker]

It’s a long story lol it actually started off the opposite way

[Asker]

Thank u ❤️

[UncleBilll]

Having second thoughts about not letting him in your panties?

[Asker]

No bc when I finally agreed he didn’t want to bc he said that he didn’t want me to be all hurt if a relationship didn’t happen

[DermalPunch]

Oh OK. He was honest. When I guy says I don't want "x" it means I don't want it with you.

[spartan55]

So wouldn't that have been after you stopped talking to him?

[Asker]

Yeah but that means that the have been dating while we were talking… we stopped talking in October..

[spartan55]

Yeah there's been four months since then correct?

[spartan55]

So how were they dating when you were talking?

[Asker]

We talked Jan 2022…. And stopped October 2022… they made their relationship official in Nov

[spartan55]

Yeah, AFTER you stopped talking to him. Why are you mischaracterizing all of this?

[Anonymous]

He just wanted sex with you.

[Asker]

He didn’t want to sleep with me

[Opinion Owner]

No literally, he just wanted sex with you. He didn't have sex with you because he knew you wanted a relationship.

[spartan55]

@asker He did at first, then he decided not to.

[Asker]

But why lie? Why tell me you’re not looking for a relationship with anyone and that it would be awhile.. like why keep reassuring me.. why make me feel like you cared.. why say you care and want the best for me…

I asked him numerous times and told him to just say that you don’t want to talk… but he said he really enjoys talking to me

[spartan55]

He didn't lie. He didn't want a relationship at that time. Him getting in a relationship AFTER you stopped talking does not make him a liar.

[Asker]

@spartan55 are you dumb or are you stupid… like cmon

He was evidently talking to her while we were talking … their relationship is new

You still have to talk to someone and court someone before you start a relationship..

[spartan55]

You are going to start calling me names? Really? I'll say it again, you don't know how it went down with them
YOU DON'T KNOW. Just because you think it should be a certain way doesn't mean it is. Some people don't need a 'talking stage' and all that other lead up. You act like it's a requirement, and it's not. Again you are focused on something that doesn't matter at all.

[spartan55]

He didn't lead you on, lie to you, or anything else like that. You thought it was something that it wasn't, just like the thing with the professor

[Asker]

@spartan55 you always always always take up for the males and make me look like a maniac

He’s like 27 and the girls he dates are like 21/22

[spartan55]

I am talking about what actually happened. I'm not making you look like anything. You do that yourself.
I'm not sure what point you are trying to make with the age difference? Why does that matter?

[Asker]

@spartan55 he could have just said that he wasn’t interested

[spartan55]

He was until you flipped out on him and told you hoped he died in a fire. Funny how you never mention that.