Why do some guys just give up on finding a relationship?

Question

Let's be honest here. Getting and keeping a relationship with a female is HARD WORK for a guy.

Unlike women, who are the ones who get approached and courted, men have to do the hard job of initiating the relationship and endure the excruciating pain of the wait until the relationship reaches the good part. It's a monumental task and requires a level of patience that most guys find extremely trying. Most guys just want to kick back, have the relationship come to them and get right to the good part. And by the time the relationship gets to the point where they finally get what THEY want from it, they are climbing the walls. Flowers? Dinners? Courtship? Most guys are thinking "WHY ME LORD? Can't we just get to the good part already?"

So is it surprising that some guys just can't take it and give up?

Why do some guys just give up on finding a relationship?

Lookingforthetruth · Accepted Answer

Because most men are becoming redpilled about the dating game and would rather be left alone than be a woman's retirement plan after she's failed in securing a relation with the men she really wants. Others have given up because there is only so many times, you can deal with women treating you like your subhuman before you get the hint that you aren't wanted.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/DmP1ier3R30

Let me break it down for you what happens in most women's dating life. They focus only on the hottest and/or richest guy during their physical prime (18-24 years old). And since these men have tons of options, they can be picky like women. These women have to give out sex, and give into whatever fucked up fetish the guy is into, because if they don't, they will just get replaced by another girl. So women are giving these men their best/most fertile years, doing all kinds of degenerate shit and getting pumped and dumped/ghosted. The women then take out this rejection by claiming ALL men want only want sex and don't want to commit. They take out the rejection they experienced at the hands of these men onto the rest of guys, whether it be acting like a cunt to them for no reason, keeping them on read when they message them, ghosting them,

Smart girls, who realize that they should lock down a guy before 30, will target a guy with good potential and lock him down into a relationship real quick; with them usually getting married by 29-31 years of age. Other women, whether due to being arrogant or just being dumb, will wait until their 30s, to start looking around for men to settle down with, and then complain when they can't find a guy.

Now, the reason a lot of guys don't want to give up on dating is because they realize that being the guy she wants for a relationship is a losing prospect. You got to work 10x as hard as the guys who were rich and/or hot to get her. Many women also like to put on a act like to make the relationship guy wait for sex, so he doesn't lose respect for her and still expect men to take up the tab in dating. Why would any man go for a woman that pretty much is making you pay for her time (aka escorting) and doesn't seem that enthusiastic about wanting to have sex with you? And this of course is if you are lucky to get there, since again, many women are rude and treat the average guy like absolute shit, thinking he should be lucky that she graces him with her presence.

And let's say you are in a relationship with a woman. Many girls are still looking to trade up and advertise themselves on social media. At least 43% of women have back up men in place to replace you. You got to keep jester maxing for her to keep her happy, be her unofficial therapist to deal with her past traumas, all the while she takes you for granted.

And then when we go into the realm of marriage then that is just a losing prospect all together for men.

VanillaSalt · Accepted Answer

Men and women face unique challenges in dating. While I agree men are dying of thirst in a desert women are dying of thirst in the ocean. Men are never seen or acknowledged until their important to someone and it’s a difficult life. That’s part of why I think so many men are willing to accept sex as an alternative.

Women on the other hand can get sex easy like you said but they cannot find the fresh drinking water which is a real caring relationship.

That being said women are predominantly the cause of all of this suffering on both sides. If we really consider how things are women could say no to promiscuity and demand commitment before sex but they choose not to and even if individually they do, enough of them don’t do it just leaves good women at a disadvantage.

Furthermore women's standards are… unrealistic. Their not unreasonable by any means but they are unrealistic. For example expecting a man to make good money, be good looking, be soft yet tough, be stoic yet empathetic, be aggressive yet kind… I do think usually these expectations are completely acceptable but when these together are the bare minimum standards you expect men to meet… Unrealistic. For example if every single woman on earth expected men to make $200k/ yr but very few men can or choose to work THAT hard their unrealistic. Unrealistic is every woman regardless makeup, size, filters, etc being a 10.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

I don’t think women really are getting courted these days 🤔 seems more of a reciprocal thing.. maybe I’m projecting. I certainly don’t expect to be courted. It would feel weird to me. I’m more interested in the guy being comfortable with both of us making an effort.

Ironically guys can’t really deal with a direct woman no matter how much they complain about having to initiate.

and I think everyone wants to get to the good part but the problem is what that is may not be the sane for ew h person.

Just curious, what’s “the good” part did you?

for me it’s when we can just cuddle and not talk without anyone thinking about what’s going on. That feeling if just “being” I love it. But it’s difficult bc so many people are neurotic... I just like peaceful vibrations ☺️

HitsyHonesty · Accepted Answer

It takes a lot of time and effort to find the right one. After seeing a relationship fail over and over I wouldn't be surprised if someone didn't want to date anymore.

coachTanthony · Answer

Its all about priorities. If you want a partner in life and someone to grow old with then it's going to be hard work finding that person and keeping them. Many guys don't care they are fine by themselves so good for them.

Lionman95 · Answer

I would say because they don´t believe that effort is really worth it. I would also say because they don´t know how to date. Guys live their life alone so either they figure out why they get rejected by a woman and find a way to improve that or they don´t.

Another issue is that it takes patience and some guys don´t have the patience. Another issue is that they don´t have a lot to offer to dating and they know it. Like if they are broke, have mental problems or not that many social skills and few friends.

There could be many reasons. Like they are not confident enough to approach a woman. I don´t know about the US but when I go through the streets about 80% of the young people wear headphones and rather seem like they don´t want to be disturbed in what they´re doing.

Pegases · Answer

I think its in an effort to protect themselves. Think about it, feminism teaches modern women that doing anything nice for men is a form of slavery. Next, most modern women hold men to traditional standards, while holding themselves to modern standards. Meaning anything a woman wants is valid, but anything a man wants is a social construct. Next, more and more women believe in sexual liberation being a form of empowerment, rather than self objectification. And when they realize it isn't all it was cracked up to be, they are too traumatized to receive or genuinely love any man. And lastly, almost 80% of all divorces are initiated by women, while men are largely viewed as nothing more than walking bags of money. So it tough to find a woman that hasn't already been indoctrinated by modern society, so I think most men simply say screw it and assume easy sex is the closest they will get.

SPIRIT208 · Answer

I’ve given up even at the young age I am because all the girls in my life are just so toxic. They only want a man (despite the age) to be tall, in peak shape, and rich. Then they go and dump them for no reason. None of the girls I’ve met either don’t care about other people’s feelings or they are too old or young for me. Especially with the whole “feminist” man bashing, where they go around blaming everything on men and hating them for no reason.

I've literally heard several girls at my school tell me “there’s no attractive guys at this school!” And I go to the largest Highschool in the state with thousands of people there, mostly guys.

Obviously girls aren’t all bad, some are sweet and kind, but they’re hard to find nowadays since we let the thorns grow to cover them.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly? Most women simply are not worth the effort. And many men are waking up to that fact.

And this isn't a swipe against women. Women deserve to pursue what makes them happy. Men do to. Well why would I want to put energy into someone who doesn't return it equally, if at all?

The only thing I don't get is why women complain that men don't make effort now today, when when he does she ignores him. I had a woman just the other day here ask me to message her. I didn't just message her, she asked me to. So I did. And then she ignored it.😆 I'm not mad but it's just ANOTHER example in a long list of examples where most women do not respect a man's time or effort. And why would you give anybody who treats you like that your time?

Giddyup · Answer

Great question! I am divorced a few years now with two daughters. I haven't given up (on dating apps now) , but I've slowed down with dating a lot. My last first date was over a year ago.

Reason being, I just don't care for the drama. I enjoy traveling, going out, clubbing, you name it, I'm OK doing it single. If someone comes along that matches me and my energy I will be into it. But I am not going to stress about grabbing a dinner table by myself either.

Unit1 · Answer

Too much work for mostly nothing or being called a cheapskate. This wouldn't be an issue if we doubled the girls and halved the boys. There would be no room for stupid games in dating and both girls and boys would have an equal chance at least.

DummyThiccFeraligatr · Answer

For some, because of opportunity costs. Spending all that time going after a girlfriend will take away from pursuing a life purpose, hobbies, family connections, etc. Plus, finding and maintaining relationships are difficult (not only romantic ones either). Some dudes are neurodivergent like me and simply don't jibe well with people broadly. Furthermore, more than a few modern women are undatable losers who don't warrant the investment.

Lots of reasons.

exitseven · Answer

Between the hard time finding girls to date that are decent, to the endless games people play to the lying and the cheating, after a while it just does not seem to be worth the trouble.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Men are becoming increasingly weaker and weaker.

Fireguy17 · Answer

It's a lot of work, so it makes a pizza and beer while working on a project car in the garage seem better and better all the time.

Jersey2 · Answer

Maybe I was lucky, maybe it was the times but women were generally available and it seemed to just happen getting dates and women. I wanted a family so I picked a woman up like getting an item at the supermarket. I just put it in my cart along with a college degree, military experience, fraternity life and some really fun experiences and proceeded to checkout at about age 25. I then moved on with the rest of my life.

lightbulb27 · Answer

because they haven't done the work to present their best self such that the women are interested.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

It takes time to find the right one (for any sex), but once you do relationships should be easy.

grega239 · Answer

Why not? Too much effort for almost no benefit and ahe can just up and leave if she's bored.

MissBoogus · Answer

It’s quite sad. I imagine rejection is painful and so they eventually just stop

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Agreed, especially after several failed ones with financial pitfalls

tunoo · Answer

I have never been interested in wasting my time in a relationship.

Bitterness · Answer

It's hard to find good people nowadays.

Anonymous · Answer

Cause they're ugly

Why do some guys just give up on finding a relationship?

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