Is normal that guys go cold and mean after rejection?

[Anonymous]

I liked a guy for a long time and he started to like me too. We kissed few times we went out but then i turned him down. We didn't talk like for three months. We started talking after three months, I mean it is mostly making fun of each other and stuff, not like serious talk or something. He was always so nice, smiled a lot. I dont want to say he is asshole now or acts like douchebag but it is different. He doesn't smile that much, often he acts cold and he is not that nice and kind

[abc3643]

This is a good question.
For many guys, the answer is yes.
But, for many guys, they are OK.
I think it depends a lot on the nature of "the ask" and the nature of the rejection and the "pre-ask" closeness of the people.

For instance, in 1996, I met an attractive woman who I'd often see during a cigarette break back when I smoked. She was older than me - it was obvious - but she was very good-looking. (I later learned that she was about 49; I was 33.) I casually asked her about going to a restaurant and she casually shot me down, but I didn't take it hard and, in fact, we became very good friends over the next 3 years.

And the same can be said about women who are rejected.

I was in an LDR in 1989 and, when she stayed with me for a month, I knew that this wasn't going to work out. Just before she went home, I let her know I was not the kind of guy she needed. That last week before I said that wasn't very good, so this was no surprise. She was hurt, but I tried to stay in contact. She was very terse when I called asking how she was. Polite, but 1-word answers. I stopped calling in December. I send her a happy birthday message via Facebook each year and that's it.

The bottom line with her and with guys who "go cold" is that, instinctively, they do not want to waste any more effort into a non-relationship that will not get better. Think of it like this: Your child is certain to soon die of cancer, so why bother continuing to save for their college education?

[Anonymous]

People don't like being played with. Dating isn't a game. You can seriously hurt people. He probably just treats you like the rest of them now. I do think rejection changes people in general. They become more defensive toward dating. Can't blame them though.

[genericname85]

yeah it's normal. that's self preservation and coping.

[Anonymous]

From your vantage point yes. I'm sure it does SEEM cold and mean to you. Even if it really isn't.

[Anemone978]

Yes it is normal..

[Chad345]

Some do. Hard for some guys to handle rejection.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. Very normal.

[In_Trance]

yes it is