Guys, Do you think he is pulling my leg?

[Gummy_Cluster]

I met this nice guy on Tinder. We talk back and forth on messaging apps. We talked about different foods we can try. I told him that I just want a grilled ham & Swiss sandwich with apples. He told me that his uncle is an astronaut, and he could get me all the Swiss cheese I want.

I always thought that Swiss cheese came from Switzerland, but he set me straight on that.

I told my friend about it, and she said he's probably just looking for a roll in the hay. I really do want the free moon cheese, but I have hay fever. What does it mean?

[SteveSmith1985]

Well no. I don't think he just wants sex.

I only tell girls about the Swiss Cheese secret if I see genuine potential. There actually is no such thing as cheese that's not made from the moon. It's not even just swiss (you're welcome... he'll think you're a clever cat when he sees you know all about that crater-Gouda and dark-side blue-cheese is amazing.) Also cows... just aren't what you think. That's all I can really tell you without there being consequence. And I'm only letting you in on any of this because I like the cut of your jib. You seem like a pretty cool chick.



Anyway. He sounds like a keeper. And he'll be genuinely impressed if you whip-out the knowledge I've dropped on you here. In fact, all men you're romantically interested in will be impressed if you pull out these little factoids. Best of luck!

Keep us updated please. 🙂

Oh. Yea... don't roll in hay. Actual hay I mean. If you knew where that was really from... trust me, you would not roll in it. (SO gross!).

[ShiftingMonke]

Oh lord..

Wallace & Gromit was in your childhood as well, wasn't it? That episode was disturbing to me. Come to think of it, I believe there's a Mickey Mouse animated short (from pre-1940's days) of him 'making' swiss cheese as well, although it's not something they could air on Disney channel. Well.. maybe they would if it was Minnie mouse making it.

Either way, if you're getting a roll in the hay AND cheese, I think you found yourself a winner, as it's common knowledge ALL white women love cheese. If you dont, you're a liar. And if you've got lack-toast-holler-ants, then you each cheese regardless because it's everyone else's problem.

[Gummy_Cluster]

LMAO I just found this stuff!
www.claritin.com/.../base-tablets-hero-front.png

Maybe I can get the free moon cheese.

[SnowedIn]

... as long as it's not THAT cheese...

[ShiftingMonke]

I recognize that stuff! My neighbor asked me to get several boxes of if for him a month ago. Just before he got arrested, come to think of it.

He must've had a bad sickness; I hope it's not contagious, he was always having visitors all hours of the night.

[Gummy_Cluster]

A guy on here asked me if this moon cheese thing was a joke. Have you ever wanted to sail to a distant shore, and live in the trees, eat bananas and live like an ape man?
I'm on Orbitz right now looking for a cheap ticket.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEep67akIn4

[Gummy_Cluster]

I was replying to your post about you helping a guy get laid. I was about two paragraphs in, and a fucking ant walked across my keyboard. In the process of killing him/her, I completely lost the post.

A guy was asking how to approach women in a bar. I told him my male work friend used a joke, and it worked like a charm. He was talking to some girls in a bar, and he said he was a brain surgeon, and he accidentally cut a guy’s brain in half. As a result of this horrific accident, he turned the guy into a Canadian. He said he really felt bad about that. (my friend had zero clue he was talking to three cute Canadian girls) These girls were laughing so hard they had tears running down their cheeks, and were about to pee their pants. He ended up taking the prettiest one home for the night, and she fell in love, but he was just a friendly player, and didn’t want that.

So the GAG idiot I was trying to help, said: “How is it a joke when you cut someone’s brain in half?”

That’s when I just gave up on these loons on this site. I just throw out some jokes, and they call ME stupid. Lol These people are beyond hope.

[SnowedIn]

I got the first half of your joke.

😉

🤣😂

[Gummy_Cluster]

The message just below the Kinks song, was meant for you, but somehow I managed to fuck that up.
Take a look see.

[ShiftingMonke]

As long as you don't have expectations, this place isn't bad. I've already felt myself losing interest in most participation, so I can't judge you for trusting your cats unspoken effort to keep you sane.

[SnowedIn]

@ShiftingMobke... are you suggesting she trust her pussy?

[Gummy_Cluster]

@SnowedIn

Mr. Snow and @shiftingmonke

I very much want to ask a question that's a joke my dad told me. I know that only three people will get it.

"I was watching the discovery channel, and they asked what animal in the animal kingdom eats the most ants. Then they went to a commercial break, so the audience could think about it. I figured it was those goofy looking anteaters.


Nope. It turns out that the animal that eats the most ants, are uncles. What does it mean?"

[SnowedIn]

Oh hell that's AWESOME.

Somebody might report that. It doesn't involve incest and anal. Or gerbils.

[Gummy_Cluster]

@SnowedIn

I'm going to ask it. BRB

[ShiftingMonke]

@SnowedIn I am indeed suggesting that, without questioning what kind it is; I don't trust the hairless ones, they always look unhappy. My grandma has one of those Sphinx cats, and it leaves little butthole pucker prints on her glass coffee table.

@gummy_cluster that's a terminal dad joke and I'm totally stealing it.

[SnowedIn]

Well played sir and I salute you.

[Gummy_Cluster]

It's out there. Have fun with it. And watch how stupid the replies are. If the can't get a thermos joke, this is going way over their heads. lol

[SnowedIn]

Gummy, I'm certain he's not pulling your leg. Equally certain that NASA has lots of Swiss Cheese in their program.

... BUT...

So does Denny's. The Moons Over My Hammy sandwich. It's a killer.

As for the hay, I'm thinking you just go to CVS and grab some Flonase and Claritin. You'll be fine for the hay roll. He also may not mean roll in the hay like that. It could be he's a God fearing man and he meant to say "hay ride". With his church. You could hold hands.

[Gummy_Cluster]

I just posted this to the Monke
www.claritin.com/.../base-tablets-hero-front.png

[SnowedIn]

@shiftingmonke and @gummy_cluster... you both need to see this one. And the response. You'll know the two I'm talking about. Needs your common sense involved.

What to do about advising a friend? ↗

[exitseven]

The astronauts brought back all sorts of stuff from their trips to the moon. I am sure green cheese was in the box of souvenirs. However the last moon landing was in 1972 so you might want to take that into account before any hay rolling goes on

[Gummy_Cluster]

Thanks for the heads up. I knew that bastard was lying about free moon cheese!

[exitseven]

There might be free green cheese but it is a much deeper shade of green than it waa in the 70s.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Mmmmmmm green cheese and ham!

[Iron_Man]

What does his uncle have to do with dating you? It’s not like he’s gonna pay his way through life and have all the things he needs. So his uncle is an astronaut. That’s a real long shot. Make-believe conversation to make himself look big my older cousin is actually retired from NASA. He worked there, but I never hardly got together with him basically as a kid then later on in life at his mother’s funeral

[Lliam]

"What does it mean?" ROFL

Can he also get all the Moon Pies you want?

[Gummy_Cluster]

Yes, he can get 4 types of cheeses and Moon pies.

[Lliam]

He sounds like a keeper. 🤣🤣🤣

[spartan55]

You should punch him for saying that.

[Gummy_Cluster]

No, I got scolded for that on another question.

[Adogdog]

I would say he is pulling your leg. Hahaha

[Gummy_Cluster]

That sucks. :(

[Adogdog]

But hey, I'm single! 😂😂

[Gummy_Cluster]

I want the moon cheese. Are you an astronaut?

[Adogdog]

Nope, I'm not.

[Gummy_Cluster]

It can't be all that to do. Those ships practically fly themselves.

[Adogdog]

Well, then maybe I can come up with that moon cheese then lol

[Gummy_Cluster]

The moon isn't really all that far.

[Alex8736]

was that supposed to be a joke?

[Gummy_Cluster]

Yes, but it was intended for my three friends on this site that would never ask what you just asked. The only thing keeping us on this baron wasteland of stupidity, is our jokes. I asked how a thermos works, and my friends had me rolling on the floor laughing. The rest of the idiots explained how a thermos works. lol