He used to follow random girls on socials, and chat with them. I told him it bothers me and he kinda stopped but every now and then he adds some new girl. For the last one he said he knows her but he is not aware that he sent her a request and that maybe he did it by an accident.
I don't see why is he still doing that if he knows it bothers me. I am fine with his female friends and colleagues, but some random girls he just knows I don't understand. What is the motive?
I don't see why is he still doing that if he knows it bothers me. I am fine with his female friends and colleagues, but some random girls he just knows I don't understand. What is the motive?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
So, what do you suspect? That he is shopping for greener pastures, or maybe a younger woman? The only reason men look at other women is either for some side action, or because they are not happy with their current relationship. I wonder what he would do if you were chatting with other men? Maybe a little joint counseling is in order before those red bandanas turn into full fledged red flags.
I feel like just the fact that it bothers me should be enough to stop doing it. I mean if my partner tells me something bothers him, I'd stop doing it unless it's an important part of my life. Also saying he did it by accident makes no sense. Then he said it's so lame I notice things like that.
Yes that is a red flag for sure.
You being controlling is a major red flag.
How is that controlling?
Normally you don't go around collecting random women on socials if in a relationship. What is the motive?
It's better to say "Look I want a casual thing so that I can chat around with whoever I want". And I'd respect.
Telling him what he can and can not do, is controlling.
He is not talking to these women, having sex with these women, etc. He follows them, they put up content and he follows to get the newest content. Just like if you joined a book club to get chick smut.
If he tried to force you to stop your natural female fantasies he would be considered a controlling asshole, why do you think that forcing him to stop his natural male visual fantasy is any dofferent?
I didn't force him. I said it bothers me because it makes me unsure what the motive is. He used to chat with them until lately. He'd text them for a causal chat, or ask them random qs just looking for a reason to talk. Few months ago it could not go a day without at least 3 of them in his DM. That sort of stopped but he kept on adding new ones now and then.
Women who have guys dm them without knowing them generally see guys as losers.