My boyfriend is very close with his coworker?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years.

I am 35 and he is 46.

I’ve never met this girl but he talks about her quite a lot and have seen her pop up on his phone and his Facebook/Instagram.

And yes I’ve stalked her socials (obviously yes I was being insecure and nosey) he likes almost all her photos of herself and comments on them. She is very pretty, long blonde hair, not skinny more curvy and a lot of cleavage, and I would say around late 20s or 30.

They message each other sometimes as I see him texting her but I’ve never read the messages or asked to.

He also had photos of her on his phone (they were photos of her at work opening presents as it was her birthday or something) and he took photos of her…

He also took some books into work for her and she gave him chocolates to say thanks.

He doesn’t talk about any other of his coworkers as much but am I overthinking all this?

Things are going really great between us right now and we’ve booked 3 holidays for this year and we are in a really good place. I feel like I’m being stupid?

Updates

1 y

She’s 29

[starfoxxy64]

On all truth save yourself more heartbreak by him. Because I have also been dumped after my own ex boyfriend after 10 years of him saying that I just worried too much. How that his "She is just a Friend ! omg Stop bothering Me !! " Is how he would text me when on all truth his own family never knew that this ex boyfriend , was living a open relationship which k never agreed to and he had actually been thrown in jail and had contacting that other female who had actually gotten him arrested for domestic battery charge and domestic battery with bodily harm which , he was not at all physical harm towards me. He actually cried because I gave him permission to have fun with me since I am a little kinky and not a vanilla lifestyle. Which he told me even though it seems hot and fun to try he can hurt me. Yet this point is he seems a little too close to moving from friend zone and into something you don't have to be deal with his immature decisions which he won't notice until possibly you can walk away cuz I've wasted 10 years in my life which I've regretted now and I've lost multiple opportunities to find the real, caring and mature men in this life.

[Anonymous]

As a 35 years old what are you doing with a 46 years old men.. try to at least fat close your age or in their 30s.
Of course he is doing that with young women because he is taking you for granted because of you your age he think he is so amazing and capable getting another late 20s or early 30s women as you are.
Just dumb him and do better. If you want to have kids find someone your age range so you can at least enjoy parenting with a younger father. You want your child at 4 years old to say dad to a 50 years old men..
He is taking you for granted period

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying he's cheating, but you should still be weary.
The fact that he told you about her is good, but those types of "friendships" can turn dirty real quick

Keep your head up, but your eyes open

[OfMiceandMen]

Don't overthink it. If he has done nothing sketchy in the past, you just have to trust him. He would have to do the same thing for you, if you befriended a younger guy at work.

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to upset you or worry you but I would honestly be concerned. I’m not saying he’s cheating on you or anything like that but in my opinion that’s crossing a line. There’s nothing wrong with them being friends but the constant liking her photos, constant communication, and having pictures of her on his phone is weird considering he’s in a relationship. I think it’s disrespectful honestly, but I would start with just talking to him. Bring up what’s bothering you and tell him how you truly feel about it! Just don’t let him brush off your feelings like it’s nothing. If it’s bothering you then it’s a problem he needs to address.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh and the fact that he’s never even introduced yinz to each other is a bit odd.

[ettajeezy]

Coworker situations are a slippery slope and I would be anxious about something like this. The bringing gifts and texting outside of work hours is definitely weird. I would go on his phone and see whats up for yourself. Everyone here will probably say just talk to him but girllll sometimes they just lie and conceal. If there's nothing going on then he is none the wiser!!! It is hopefully fine but I would still look into it for sure

[pupluv45]

Have a talk with him. Don't be aggressive , interrogative or accusatory. You don't know what is actually going on between them. But just let him know that if he truly prioritized his relationship with you, then he would follow your suggestion on stopping so much communication between them. Let him know that you won't tolerate cheating. Cheaters cheat because they know you will tolerate it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should have a conversation with him about boundaries and what is/isn’t ok within your relationship. Right now you’re uncomfortable and given the nature of their relationship I don’t blame you. It’s possible that he sees it as harmless if nothing physical is being done, but the relationship he’s built with her isn’t very appropriate. He doesn’t need a work wife when he’s got a girlfriend to do all of those things for him.

[JDAC092299]

I agree and as someone who has had an engagement end this way I don’t think you should trust it at all. I know everyone is different but the first stage of getting with someone successfully usually starts with good chemistry and a friendship and if they’re spending all day every day working together, they have more time together to connect than you do and you’re in a relationship with them. Maybe I’m just being cynical because I had a bad experience but a close relationship is a close relationship and that can always evolve, some people keep them to keep their options open.

[Opinion Owner]

100% agree @jdac

[LickwidSkie]

I don't believe you're overthinking it. I think you're right to be concerned. You should talk to him about it.

[OfDeath]

They are having sex with each other for sure. It is blatantly obvious. Time to break up before it is too late.

[Mangospacho]

If he’s telling you about his coworker, that’s one thing but liking every single photo of her is obsessive on his part. This isn’t good.

[driven159]

over thinking stop it before you lose him if he was not talking about her than time to worry