Why do guys always seem to approach me first try to talk to me and tell me to hit them up then drop me later? What am I doing wrong?

[laurlaur101]

[MrOracle]

No one here knows you, so no one can say anything for sure.

With that in mind, I'm going to make some generalizations. They may or may not apply to you, so if they don't, ignore them, and if they do, then consider them.

The most common reason for this to happen to girls is that the girls are pursuing the hottest/most popular guys (the top 10% of guys) - the ones all the other girls want too - who are nearly all going to be players. These guys are only going to be interested in casual sex, and they're used to getting it quickly with minimal hassle - and if they don't get it right away, then they just move on to the next girl. Even if they get the sex, they are often just on to the next girl anyway - again, they're only after casual sex and an endless string of new girls.

Assuming you are going for a more average guy, you still have to be the kind of girl a guy is going to be interested in (for more than just casual sex). Even some average guys will only want casual sex, but many of them want real relationships. For the latter, they want a relationship, but only with the right kind of girl. Generally (and, again, exceptions exist), guys want the following in a girl:

• feminine
• friendly
• fit (i. e., not overweight)
• cooperative
• submissive
• peaceful
• moral
• cooperative
• family-oriented

If they initially like a girl, but they discover that she's missing a trait that's important to him, or he doesn't feel that he can trust her, then he will downgrade her from "potential girlfriend" to "for recreational use only" - and if he's serious about looking for a relationship, he won't even pursue the recreational use.

Again, I don't know you, so this is in no way a judgement (I have no way to know), but this at least may give you a start.

Also, I *strongly* recommend that YOU pick guys based on their morals, values, and life-goals, and NOT based on how hot he looks or how exciting he is - those things might bring the feels in the beginning, but 6 month in, if the guy lacks the morals and values, those things won't matter to you - you'll hate being with him.

[laurlaur101]

Thank you for that and I really can’t pinpoint what’s going on all I know is I’m not very experienced with guys and never been in a relationship I’ve been on one date it was with a guy I didn’t like he was super nice wasn’t attracted to him I feel like there should be some sort of attraction he was more of a friend type not relationship I’m glad I did it to try it out and go with someone nice was a good time. I told him the truth I didn’t just leave them hanging they already knew how I felt before asking me out but they still asked me out so I went, but the Guys I would go for never like me. After all this I just give up trying

[MementoMori777]

If the problem isn't you then maybe it's the type of men you chase, they all seem to have that in common, considering I don't know you, this is all I can inform you with

[megabamse]

Are we mind-readers or something? How in the world are we supposed to know this? We don't know you, and we don't know any of the details that is between what your saying.

[BarryLiverstone]

Not sure, that all sounds normal. What is the question?

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh they drop you later, sorry missed that part. Well if a guy drops you then you didn’t meet his needs.

[laurlaur101]

They seem interested to talk to for a little bit maybe 2 weeks max then stop talking to me. My point is why go through all that trouble just to drop someone if they weren’t that interested then why do all that. Happened to me a lot I feel like it’s my fault my personality doesn’t measure up

[BarryLiverstone]

Could be your fault or could be they are not clear in their intentions. How many dates do you go on and what happens irl?

[laurlaur101]

I’ve been on one date with someone I didn’t like that way but I figured to go and try it they were super nice they were more a friend type not relationship type I don’t think they were really my type. I like muscular and fit and nicer personality adds to that too all depends similar interests too align. That’s not everything but seems like the more attractive guys are the more jerks they are which is sad it has to be that way but seems true. I don't know if it’s my fault or not I can’t really pinpoint what’s going wrong I’m trying to think back and analyze everything I do I can’t seem to come up with anything I’m so determined to figure out what’s wrong with me so I can fix it.

[BarryLiverstone]

Fit seems universal in liking how someone looks. Are you also fit so that they are interested in you? If you haven’t been on many dates then I would suggest trying that out more and talking only like a week before going out.

Have guys asked you out and how did they make you feel safe?

[laurlaur101]

Yeah I am fit too I guess I attract them first but can’t really keep them I don't know I talk to many guys but they don’t seem to take initiative to ask me out tho it’s been even months or more never said one word of that so I don't know. I had a few ask me out this one person I called it off bc I found some stuff out about them didn’t make me feel safe to go so had to cancel and this one guy acted like he wanted to go all these places and said “we can go here and there” he was just all talk and took no action I tried to give him chances then the day I canceled with the guy this was in advice too it was a Tuesday and I tried to ask this other guy to do something he agreed we decided Saturday then Friday we were talking then left me on open later so I was like prob nothing else to say they will snap me the next day about going to figure out a time. We had it planned out how we were going to eat first then go bowling and they were picking me up all that stuff then never contacted me about anything but this point I was on to them knowing how they were so I just removed them from snap just had to cut them off they were just too unpredictable and just playing games in my opinion this person I knew more and I thought I was more friends with them I don't know they weren’t right either like every time I come close to something always ends. I feel bad cutting this guy off but he was doing this constantly it was like bullshit talk no action empty promises I didn’t want to deal with that stuff I feel bad doing it tho but I guess I didn’t have much of a choice that was the next step to do cut them off

[laurlaur101]

Then there’s another thing too but too much to explain with another person

[BarryLiverstone]

Feel free to explain, I’ll listen and try to help.

[BarryLiverstone]

For the guys you mentioned it sounds like they were either not that experienced or not looking to begin a real relationship tbh

[BarryLiverstone]

If you talk for 2 weeks what are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

You're saying yes to the wrong ones... duh!😆😆😆

[Anonymous]

Pm me