Am I wrong for not defending him?

[Anonymous]

A couple of my friends were talking about this guy. We were mostly making fun of him and discussing the things he tell us. They are his friends too. One of the things we made fun of was us thinking he was secretly on the DL (secretly gay).

He's a guy that i like and interested in but he hasn't made it clear what his intentions was with me even though i asked him 50 times. We've had sex and thats the closes we are. One minute we are like friends the next minute he's flirting.

Well I told him about the conversation me and the friends had and he got upset. He's been upset about it for months and is paranoid im talking about him still. He was more upset with me because I know him more than they know him which i actually don't. The only reason why I joined in on the conversation with the friends was because he talks highly about himself and down about others including me sometimes. He's not my boyfriend so i dont see why i had to defend him.

[Anonymous]

While you are not obligated to defend someone who is not your boyfriend, it's worth considering how your words and actions may impact others. Making fun of someone and spreading rumors can be hurtful and damaging, and it's important to be mindful of the impact your words and actions may have on others.

In this case, it sounds like the guy you are interested in was hurt and upset by the conversation you had with your friends. It's understandable that he would feel paranoid and upset, especially if he feels like he's being talked about behind his back. It's important to take responsibility for your actions and apologize if you hurt someone, even if you didn't mean to.

Moving forward, it's important to be mindful of how you talk about others and to treat people with kindness and respect. If you're not sure how your words or actions may impact someone, it's always better to err on the side of caution and avoid saying or doing anything that could be hurtful or damaging.

[Hulk_kitty]

You don't owe him anything, especially if he has been putting you down. I would stay away from this guy, sounds like toxic narcissist. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE LADY.