I've liked this guy that is a fitness instructor at my gym. He also participates in some of the classes. There can be gaps in between when I see him of weeks at a time, because of my schedule.
He had all the signs of a shy guy liking me. And I am quieter, more bashful myself, so in the beginning it was just lots of smiles and being bashful around each other. Neither of us were more direct.
I then saw him pair up in class with a girl at the gym, talking and flirting (smiling, leaning in close) with each other, a couple of times. He was looking back at me and seemed irritated that I didn't look upset, although inside I was. I'm not even sure what kind of reaction he wanted. It's not like we really talked and it's not like I'm going to cry at the gym, lol.
At this point, I'm not even sure if he is single or has a girlfriend, so I was waiting for him to step it up a bit. He has yet to ever initiate a conversation with me. Now I just get hot and cold behaviour of only staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking, or being excited and happy when I enter the room, hovering around me (and only me) during the workout, and putting his head way down and a quick compliment as he darts off.
I just think his behaviour is weird at this point. He just wants me to chase him? I would be more motivated to hit on him, if I hadn't seen him flirting with another girl in front on my face. Or he just likes having me around for some reason but doesn't want to pursue anything with me?
He is 27 and I am bit older (36), but people always think I am 28-30.
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What makes you think he is interested? I guess you're not familiar with fitness trainers and how much ass they get. If you want to be one of several then go for it. How much have you even talked to him? He doesn't want you to chase him either. Guys rarely play that bullshit.
So, you are holding it against him that he flirted in front you why? He has no clue you like him, but you expect him to only look at you? Come on...
I can see where you're coming from, as I didn't want to make my initial question too long. Yes, I have talked to him before, initially it was gym questions, or asking him questions about my technique. He seemed enthusiastic to help and happy to talk to me. After I saw him with the girl, I decided I needed to show more direct interest. So I went up to him and gave him a flirty compliment/banter, he replied and seemed super happy I was talking to him, and I had his full attention. At this point, I don't know if he's single or not. The hovering around me, staring at me (especially when he thinks I don't notice), etc, he only does that with me, and he seems nervous around me.
You don't know if he only does that with you. Are you watching him 24/7? Nope. You say that, then you said how you got mad because he flirted with another girl in front of you. Those two statements don't align do they? Why would he be nervous around you? I think a lot of this is you projecting your feelings onto the situation.
The thing with the girl happened before I showed more direct interest in him. And she approached him the first time, and I think he just went along with it. But yes, it's true either before or after that, I don't know if he's flirting with other girls. My second thought is maybe he still doesn't know I'm interested in him, cause I haven't approached him again to flirt since that last time?
Oh, I see I left that latter detail out of my initial question. After I saw with that other girl, I did approach him the next time I saw him at the gym as I realized maybe he doesn't know I like him. I gave him a flirty compliment and we bantered about it, I had his full attention, while he was a bit bashful. Then after that, his staring at me and hovering just increased.
What was the flirty compliment?
That day, he was singing a lot in that class to the music. He’s never done that before. (He sings well). So I kind of in a joking, nice way said, Nice singing! And he replied something like his class is part-musical. And I replied, it was my favourite part.
He wouldn't take that as flirting. Too subtle.