After breaking it off with a guy, why would he send of one his friends to text me?

[Anonymous]

It's a girl who's dating one of his friends. Her and I kind of became friends. But she wasn't really a big texter so we didn't text that often.

I ended with the guy yesterday and I noticed she's been texting random friendly messages from yesterday. Trying to get me to reply. But I haven't replied to her at all. She's still sending me messages.

I don't get why... I'm pretty sure the dude I rejected told her and everyone I ended things. I was telling my mom about her texting me and she said he's probably telling her to contact me. I don't get why he would want her to text/talk to me... Like what is that even going to do.

Plus I'm ignoring her at this point, I don't get why she's still trying.

Updates

10 mo

The reason why I'm not really being friendly with her is because I don't think we can comfortably be friends because she's friends with the guy I rejected too. I don't ever want to see or talk to him again. Most likely if I am friends with her I'll probably see him again. So I basically have to cut off ties with her. She was his friend first so I'm not trying to cause drama or take her away from their friend group.

[spartan55]

You don't know that he told her to text you. You are making your assumptions reality which is not smart.

[Asker]

Should I reply to her then?

[spartan55]

Yeah, I think so. Maybe he did run his mouth, but 25-29 is too old to pulling middle school bullshit. So, I really doubt he put her up to it.

[Asker]

Well actually he is 23. But the girl is 27

[spartan55]

Still WAY too old

[Asker]

I don't feel comfortable texting her though. I don't think I will

[spartan55]

Why wouldn't you be comfortable?

[Asker]

I don't want it to blow up in my face. Like this guy I was dating, it blew up in my face. He turned out to be a crazy weirdo. If I keep in contact with people related to him then it'll probably turn out bad. I'll get more hurt. Then when I tell my friends and family about it, they'll blame me for keeping in contact just like how they blamed me for dating this guy without knowing he's a weirdo.

[spartan55]

I get it. But how were you supposed to know he was a weirdo? Or did you ignore a bunch of red 🚩flags?

[Asker]

I did ignore some red flags. He joked so much that I couldn't tell if he was messing or not... Until I asked him.

[spartan55]

What type of joking?

[Asker]

He would make jokes about women. Like men should be number one and women should know their place. He was saying that women shouldn't be allowed to do certain things in life and men should keep women down. l and that the world would be a better place if men took some freedom away from women. When he would say it, he would laugh and say it in this way like he was joking like he was looking to annoy me but he didn't actually mean it. Like he was looking for a reaction but in a playful way even though he didn't mean it. Then I finally like, "Stop joking." And he was like, "I know I say it like I'm joking, but I'm actually not joking, I'm being serious." I told him that concerns me and he literally didn't care. I was like 😮 this is a turn of events. So I ended things. I don't get how a guy can say sexist, misogynistic things and not expect that it will piss off women? Like he expects them to be cool with his hatred. doesn't make sense.

[Asker]

The thing is, he didn't say it all the time. Like once in a blue.

[spartan55]

That's pretty fucked up, sorry you got tangled up with a dude like that. That's why I always say when people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. So no one else in this friend group caught to this guy's crap?

[Asker]

I'm pretty sure the other guys agree with him, I think they think the same. The girl, I'm not sure if she agrees. But she's dating one of the friends of the guy I rejected so I feel the situation is complicated. I don't want to cause drama by keeping my friendship with her and I don't know if it'll just hurt me in the end. So I'm afraid. I'm not trying to be an a-hole to her by ignoring her, I honestly feel bad. But I have to protect myself too.

[Asker]

Thanks for your dad advice. I bet you have a nice relationship with your daughter. I noticed that older men with daughters have this niceness to them when it comes to younger women, it's adorable. Thank you for your wisdom.

[spartan55]

I appreciate that. I actually have one son, and he hates my wisdom 😂
Drop me a message if you need help with anything else, good luck!

[Asker]

I don't want to private message you but you sound sexy lol. I have a thing for older men, your wife is lucky to have you

[spartan55]

I don't have a wife, but thanks.