We dated for 8 months. Got married. He said he loves me after 20 days of meeting. he was kind and caring. made the sweetest gestures of genuine care. but after 2 months or so dating he became possessive. wanted to monitor everything I do. i had to call him right after waking up. if I called after freshening up he'd be angry. i had to show him while I changed dress. first it was cute and hot but soon if I changed without showing him he'd be mad. i always felt im doing something wrong and apologized. i didn't have any prior dating experience.
But for whatever reason I married him, it's blurry to me. and he became an animal. lost his job because he was all busy with monitoring me. He'd take leaves just to escort me to places and if I asked not to he'd be suspicious. hed get mad, furious, scream shout say vile things about my character. but if I consoled him hugged him fed him he'd be okay. it was like I was his mom. He even told me he thought I'd love him like his mom did.
I couldn't take it anymore he was stopping my movement and my freewill. i wasn't allowed to do anything without asking permission first. even to meet my family I had to take an ok from him. he spewd disgusting lies about my character. demanded I comeback from office whenever he asked. hed grab my throat and say he'll kill me. mornings he'd comment on my dress up that I look too good or my lipstick is too bright
After leaving him it took me 2 month to decide. during that he was begging and crying and pleading for a last chance but soon got mad when I wasn't cooperating. rhreatened to harm me. Since I've filed for divorce I am either empty or sad. i reminisce the good times although few little. i feel guilty. i winder if I should've been a better and understanding partner.
Things feel heavy to me. he cursed me horribly.
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It's normal but you have nothing to feel guilty about except making a poor decision to marry him in the first place. You should feel free and lucky you found out so quickly. You can move on now.
It's a rollercoaster. sometimes I scream because how could I take that bad decision. I'm moving on. i always preferred solitude but now I can't be alone because my thoughts scream inside my brain.
You will make it. You're still young it was just a really bad decision that thankfully you got out of before you ended up trapped with kids. Good thing.
Probably, especially when since you chose to marry him for whatever dumb reason in the first place.