Why is my life like this?

[pacifyherrr]

A lot has happened to me today and recently. The reason I am writing this now is what I am about to tell you. It started off my ex dm me making rude comments on my posts and it turned into something bigger where he started violating me, literally. He pointed out my height and everything which I am very sensitive about. I wouldn't generally care if this was just anyone but he has played me before by leaving me hanging after an intimate moment making me very insecure and then he proceeded to spread rumors about me, so yes I care a lot. He started bringing up how everyone from my old school (the one he goes to) hates me and laughs about my posts. He told me everyone in our area dislikes me and that he's heard nothing positive about me. I am very sensitive, mostly because of past experiences and I tend to overthink a lot so this really hit.

The whole argument ended and I was shocked and my friend tried to convince me what he said was all bs and that he's just trying to provoke me. I want to believe her but I can't stop thinking about it all. I thought I was done with him for good, I even started thinking positive of him despite what he did to me before that.

What makes me unhappy isn't just what happened with my ex. If it were to only be about him I wouldn't bother writing this. Well, when he said that my posts were cringe and that everyone was laughing at them I thought back to my crush who had rejected me. We are close friends and it is probably better that way, but it makes me feel unwanted, especially when I don't even live with my mother either. My whole life has been about CPS and I have always been involved in family drama. I have been moved from my mom, then to an emergency home, then now I live with my grandma. I just think life is so unfair. Why is this happening to me? What makes me so unlikable? Before me and my crush knew each other personally he blocked me. I continued chasing him, and I'm just lucky he wanted to befriend me even after all that.

Updates

10 mo

I just wanted to quickly add onto some of the things I wrote since there wasn't enough space to write everything in order for you who are reading to fully get a picture of the events. I also wanted to add on to the family problems that just now right after the whole argument with my ex on dm, my brother and I had an argument. My brother and I argued after I told him I didn't feel welcome after visiting because all he did was criticize me and do things to annoy me, it really hurt extra then.

Updates

10 mo

it hurt extra because my whole life I have always had to carry such a huge responsibility because I am the older sister. Every adult expected me to take care of things someone my age shouldn't. My mom would always tell me to take care of my brother even though sometimes I have to admit, he did ruin my mental health. My mom would tell me to take care of him and always defend him or else he would get anxiety, but no one thought of me like that. It all just seems so unfair to me, life.

[MementoMori777]

im going to make the assumption that you broke up with him considering he's being so toxic to you after the breakup, which nornally wouldn't happen without anger and which would mean that not only is what he's saying mostly shit but that he's being toxic because his ego is hurt, dont take it personal, if anyone confronts you about his stupid rumors which normally no one has the balls for confrontation nowadays, you can always speak the cold and hurtful truths about him, that he's toxic and spreading rumors that its most likely because of the breakup, that would normally shut him up, mostly if you speak the truths to his friends.

[pacifyherrr]

Actually I don’t think it’s because of the breakup. We dated awhile ago so that’s a bit irrelevant. We were quite close, he would always claim to relate to me and he would help me with advice. I think that was a part of his little scheme which was to make out with me then completely cut me off.
After he did that I heard he had spread multiple rumours about me and I think that when he really got to a point where he just hated me, not even ignoring me anymore was when I confronted him. I just think what he says makes sense. I feel like I’m very unlikable and that I’m awkward and that’s because my crush had rejected me.

[pacifyherrr]

and this was all after breaking up

[MementoMori777]

at the end of the day its still ego and I've been around it enough to know how toxic it can be and whatever his problem is, its most likely because you aren't his anymore and that bothers him, ego doesn't just come from anger itself, it can come from jealousy as well and knowing y'all used to smooch around and now y'all aren't buddy buddies anymore, it bothers him so his toxic way of dealing with those emotions is to speak shit on your name and even if some of the things might be true, they are manipulated with lies to create a whole different perspective on that specific thing, you can't just believe everything he says out of anger, no one is really unlikeable if you aren't completely toxic because believe it or not, flaws add to uniqueness and pros just speak for itself obviously

[Sparkie460]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. First thing you should do is block your ex. Don't have any contact with him. He's trying to make himself feel better by putting you down. Forget about his comments. You're a good looking girl. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Now with your brother. How old is he? It sounds like you don't live together. Where does he live? Siblings always try to annoy each other. I am the youngest of 3 children. My brother and sister always annoyed me when we were growing up. He's your brother, you just have to put up with it or do it back to him.

[pacifyherrr]

My brother is only 13 so I do keep in mind his immaturity. There’s only a 2 year gap between us but a lot of times I just feel like I can’t speak freely because he won’t be able to accept it and I’ve always had the responsibility to take care of him while there was no one like me to take care of me.
And yes I’ll block my ex

[pacifyherrr]

and we don’t live together. I used to live with my mom for 2 years without him then we both moved around places together and now he lives with my mom and I’m with my grandma

[Sparkie460]

Your parents should have been there to take care of you. Obviously, they weren't there for you. Hopefully your grandmother is now.

You are very mature for your age. You just need to less sensitive to what people say about you. Ignore what they say.

[pacifyherrr]

I’ll try to get that mindset. Thank you

[Sparkie460]

I hope I helped you. You seem like a sweet young lady

[ByCureChris9669]

Sounds like you really need a hug!

Sometimes people can do terrible things when they are heartbroken, and other people can be gullible enough to believe the lies! This shows you who your friends truly are, and who values you!! Don't give up! I am certain you are an amazing person!

[Vikkrram]

Everyone has their own problems ma'am and don't think about your ex. He really said bs. It sounded like that he was just frustrated

[pacifyherrr]

Yeah but sometimes I wonder if I’m actually awkward and that because I am I’ve lost a lot of opportunities. I feel like I’m not letting people want to know me, I rather overshare a lot making me sound like too much or something

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am look when there's no one to listen people do overshare..