Guy's Behavior

I fell in love with one of my long lost admirers. Is this fear of lonliness or fear of attachment?

Anonymous

I fell in love with one of my long lost admirers. He was the only guy who expressed unconditional love for my soul, accepted my personality and love me with no expectations in return, unlike others who were attracted to my body.

Fast forward he acted like he never knew me. Overcome by my loss of boyfriend (the one for whom I rejected this admirer), mental health and mostly the fear of loneliness, I became more clingy and attached to him. My fear arises from, 'if he forgets me, then no one will remember me'.

Then came the push-pull cycles. I love him but dont want him. It was running in the back of my mind. We had hot and cold times and he increasingly became possessive of me and toxic as well. He started hating all the guys I hang out with. Although I didn't stalk him, I did make some of his friends my friends, and he hated me talking to his male friends, especially the ones who wanted to date me.

Since we had no label, I moved onn and hooked up. I told him the same. Then I saw him in fit of rage going from toxic to shattered, voice breaking. Few seconds later he said 'I hope you find what you want, you won't get it from me'

Fast forward I moved onn, 2years. We did meet, I could still feel his rage, He is still upset about me hooking up. I could see him struggle to keep it cool but break. Now that we are no longer in touch, His friends keep sending me their pics with him. I asked them to stop. But all they do whenever they can, is speak about him or anything that will remind me of him.

I fell in love with one of my long lost admirers. Is this fear of lonliness or fear of attachment?
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